Posts Tagged with "moonbats"

Toys and Philosophy

March 28th, 2007 at 7:17 pm by Zacque
Tags: , , , , , ,

I recently cleaned out some of my old hard drives and found something I wrote a while ago but never shared.  A little something to think about when things get you down, moonbats drive you nuts, or you are fed up with everything.  

A Simple Analysis of 20th Century Thought:

  • Capitalism, he who dies owns the most toys wins.
  • Hari Krishna, he who plays with the most toys wins.
  • Catholicism, he who denies himself the most toys and little boys wins.
  • Anglican, the boys were our toys first.
  • Atheism, there is no toy or boy maker.
  • Polytheism, there are many toy or boy makers.
  • Evolutionism, the toys made themselves.
  • Church of Christian Scientist, we are the toys.
  • Communism, everyone gets the same number of toys and you are in big trouble if we catch you selling your toys or playing with them.
  • B’hai, all your toys and are fine by us.
  • Amish, toys with batteries are surely a sin.
  • Protesting Moonbatism, war toys are evil.
  • Good Ole Lefty, toys that are violent are to be rounded up and put into camps in order to become nonviolent toys.
  • Taoism, the stuffed rabbit is as important as the dump truck.
  • Mormonism, every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
  • Voodoo, let me borrow that doll for a while.
  • Hinduism, he who plays with plastic farm animals loses.
  • Seventh Day Adventist, he who plays with toys on Saturday loses.
  • Southern Baptist, if your toy is Disney product, you have a one-way ticket to hell.
  • Jehovah’s Witness, he who sells the most toys door to door wins.
  • Pentecostalism, he whose toys can speak wins.
  • Existentialism, toys are a figment of your imagination.
  • Confucianism, once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
  • Non-Denominationalism, we don’t care where the toys come from lets just play with them.
  • Agnosticism, it is not possible to know whether the toys make a bit of difference.
  • Unitarian Universalism, we still have not decided if the toys exist, much less how, where, or who made them.

Isn’t that nice?

Yes, I Still Think War Protesters are Moonbats

March 22nd, 2007 at 2:02 am by Mark
Tags: , , , , , , ,

     In 2004, I moved outta DC because the place is pretty much a hell-hole of arrogance and one-upmanship.

     Leading up to the Iraq war, the entire town was behind it save for a few bus loads full of Neo-Nazi Skinheads wearing WWJD bracelets.  Personally, I’m pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t’ve been shaving his head, wearing Swastikas and threatening to kill all the Jews, but maybe that’s just me *rolls eyes*.

     As weeks progressed and the conflict escalated, politicians who’d voted for the war a few weeks prior began spouting rhetoric about how they were always against the war…

     It wasn’t long before the War Protestors started going moonbat-loopy.

     I remember being harassed one morning on the way to work at the Fairfax metro, when I simply walked past the guy trying to hand me his anti-war flyer.  He started screaming, “Fascist motherf&$#er!  You’re a g#$!%m babykiller!”  The rock-salt was down to keep us from falling face first in the slush, but that dear protester decided to see if he could help me fall a little easier.  I turned around and gave him a small shove back, and he finally shut his damn mouth.

     Arriving at work, I was met with another obnoxious punk at the top of the D.O.T. steps.  He was screaming, cussing at everyone who wouldn’t take his flyer.  On Federal Property.  And the D.O.T rent-a-cops wouldn’t get rid of him…

     He was still there at lunch, screaming, shoving people.  And DC people, generally, when threatened, tend to turn Zombie and ignore what’s going on.  They get shoved, they shut down, and continue trying to walk like nothing’s happening to them.

     I am not that way.

     I observed as Mr. Moron accosted an old woman, shoved her down, and busted her purse open.  Her coins went everywhere.  Being typical of the area, people just walked around the bloody-kneed old lady, ignored the screaming moron and went about their business as if it was perfectly normal.

     I ran to her aid, attempted to help her up, and received a short-lived tirade from the moron … short-lived because when he got in my face for trying to help her off the ground, he got a love-pat and a gingerly toss down the Metro escalator.

     And when trying to help the old lady gather her loose change, she simply ignored me, unwilling to make any eye contact, unwilling to accept the money I’d picked up for her.  And nobody else would pick it up.

     There were numerous other stupid incidents which made me loathe to ride the DC Metro after a while (an Asian lady who continually attempted to push me in front of the train, a man who attempted to climb me — standing on the back of my leg and holding my shoulder — trying to push his way into an overstuffed Metro car, the group of suit-and-tie-clad Howard Dean supporters screaming “DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TOUCH ME!” and biting passengers for accidentally brushing against them in another overstuffed car), but I digress.

     This is typical of DC.

     It’s a relatively tiny land area chock-full of asinine, and overflowing with WTF.

     Knoxville protesters tend to be at least a little less moronic.  The culture here is very different to DC, in that most people are usually — at least somewhat — nice to each other.  They still scream sarcasm, and use all the silly catch-phrases which don’t apply (general misuse of words and such).  But for the most part, they’re not hitting people.  They’re usually not throwing things at passersby.

     “The smell of patchouli in the air so thick it makes my eyes water,” said Lissa Kay as she filmed this video.

     You can also see that they enlisted the aid of many of Knoxville’s homeless population in exchange for free doughnuts.  I guess they needed to show numbers, and really didn’t think about how demeaning it would be to bribe people to their cause using food…

     Especially when many of the protesters claim that our government was doing that to rural Iraqis…

     Can you say, “Reprehensible hypocrites!” boys and girls?

     I knew you could.

Stock Photos

Whiners and Losers

February 28th, 2007 at 9:05 pm by Sam
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Since November 2006 a quiet storm has been gathering strength in Washington. Now it appears that Washington State politicians want to play El Nino to their D.C. colleagues, effectively taking the wind out of their sails by calling for impeachment ahead of their Center City counterparts.

Unbeknownst to D.C. Democrats who have been plotting to impeach Bush for “Security Breaches Post-9/11” (most often for things that they did themselves in a very botched and public political chess game), their constituents in Washington State have already come up with a proposal to take W down: they’ve draw up investigation and impeachment documents labeled Washington State Senate Joint Memorial 8016, to be decided upon tomorrow, March 1st.

Should they get the go-ahead from their State House & Senate, they merely have to refer the document to the Speaker of House of Representatives, and the Investigation process will begin.

The most atrocious charges in the document implicate both President George W. Bush and Vice-President Richard B. Cheney in a massive coverup of pre-war intelligence and subsequent lies to Congress and the American people as a justification to invade Iraq. However, the rest are at best laughable:

  WHEREAS, The war with Iraq has cost the lives of many Washington state residents and squandered taxpayer money from the state of Washington; and

  WHEREAS, The President has publicly admitted to conducting electronic surveillance of thousands and perhaps millions of American civilians without seeking warrants; and

  WHEREAS, Washington state residents are likely to have been subject to this electronic surveillance; and

  WHEREAS, The President, the Vice President, and members of the President’s Administration have acted to strip American citizens of their constitutional rights, based solely on the discretionary designation by the President of a United States citizen as an “enemy combatant”; and

The translation is as follows:

“We hate war! We don’t know how many of our citizens have died in Iraq, we read the Washington Post where it said that G.W. admitted to wiretapping, we’re not sure if that includes any citizens of our state, we’ve never read the Patriot Act even though our own representation passed it, and we generally think W is a big doo-doo head!”

These brainiacs (Washington State Senators Oemig, Regala, Kohl-Welles, Kline, Spanel, Fairley, Kauffman, Fraser and Prentice) have certainly not done their homework. And yes, their own idiots in D.C., Cantwell and Murray, both voted for the very bill that gave the President the power which they claim G.W. has dubiously wielded. But of course they aren’t sure whether or not it actually affected anyone in their state.

I sincerely hope that this particular impeachment goes through.  It will make them look like the bunch of ninnies they are and save a lot of Washington D.C. Democrats some serious headaches when the “Security Breach” investigations get turned right back around on them.

Although, that could be fun, too.

Democrats want George Bush impeached over many esoteric thing for which there is no evidence. Ahead of all of that is the War in Iraq.

It would seem that the vast majority of them are talking about the “hundreds of thousands of innocent women and children” killed during our invasion of Iraq, but the truth is, there have been remarkably few except in violence created and carried out by their own people, foreign terrorists and Al Qaeda. Factions inside of Iraq pleaded with us to get rid of Hussein, who was personally responsible for gassing and bombing hundreds of thousands of innocent women and children.

But it seems that Anti-War Protestors are unable to think of the lives we’ve saved.

Other Democratic factions claim that Iraq is “another Vietnam,” a sentiment which is as offensive as it is ridiculous, not only to those who actually fought in Vietnam, but also to the families who loved ones during the conflict.

They claim that the United States acted unilaterally and without provocation, despite the fact that the majority of Western countries were in favor of invading Iraq.

But even more heinous than those lies is their typical warcry: “We don’t need to lose another U.S. soldier in Iraq!” Yet, they want to cut funding, and prevent a slight increase in the number of deployed troops who would certainly be able to help in hotzones like Fallujah.

This sort of bullshit illogic is similar to the rhetoric they gave early in the war when they underbudgeted and entrenched to keep from sending additional aid. Meanwhile, our soldiers were dying due to lack of Armor on their persons and Humvees.

Do you ever read what your representatives are actually doing? How many things did they vote correctly on? Did they even bother to show up to work and vote?

These sorts of things prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that our politicians certainly do not have our interests in mind, and will do anything to further their power.

All you have to do is pay attention and remember things.

Penn & Teller on Conspiracy Theorists

September 24th, 2006 at 7:04 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , , ,

     Penn & Teller’s television show, “Bullshit!“, really covers a lot of material with little more than simple logic.  This particular episode, from 9-May-2005, carries with it the same type and amount of raw disbelief and vitriol that I’ve ranted when discussing 9/11 Conspiracy Theorists, right down to the choice of nouns and adjectives.
     People can say foul language, name-calling and violence never solve anything, but in certain situations, they certainly make you feel better. Besides — why should I show restraint to people who none? The Golden Rule does apply.
     If you agree, watch it, because it has all of those things.  If you don’t, then … well … don’t watch it.

     Someone told me recently, “Calling them idiots and dumbasses doesn’t do anyone any good! You catch more flies with honey!”

     I’m sorry, but, why should I have to catch flies here?

     In the immortal words of Penn Gillette, “Are 49.3% of us just f$&*ing crazy?”

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

Five Years After

September 11th, 2006 at 3:35 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , , , , ,

     Sometimes a picture’s worth a thousand words.
     Other times, they’re worth ten thousand.  I’ll try not to write them all down.

     Throughout my travels, I actually have very few pictures, let alone pictures of me.  That’s why this one is so special to me.  It was taken 28-Dec-2000.

 Mark Steel in front of the WTC

     Nine months later, those beautiful landmarks were gone.  I was in a foreign country having abuse and saliva hurled at me by random morons with their, “Fucking yanks got what you deserved!” and other such slanders.
     Mind you, “screaming” is considered a violent act there, and they had a tendency to make examples of non-citizens, so I had to either take the abuse or take my chances beating on some of them.
     Door number two was easier, knowing that I could go home and shave my hair and beard, and they’d be too stupid to know it was me if they saw me again.

     Contrary to popular belief, the 9/11 attacks took little to pull off.  That’s the one thing the public doesn’t like to hear.
     It wasn’t the work of a brilliant, criminal mastermind with an endless supply of money.  All it took was a few idiots with the nerve and will to actually do it.
     I was out there, and I know first hand that there are a lot of idiots in the world, with the will to do it.  Fortunately, few of them have the nerve, but the possibility has always been there, and continues to be there.

     “There was no problem before this stupid President!  We could travel anywhere under the last one!”
     Even through the 90’s, foreign travel was discouraged to “ALL COUNTRIES, DUE TO HIGH POSSIBILITY OF ANTI-AMERICAN ACTIVITIES.”  These notices were in every Post Office and Airport in the country.  Surely I’m not the only one who noticed them.
     But certainly, after 9/11, it got worse.  Half the world saw America as weak, saw that retribution could be had for whatever made-up reasons we needed it, and apparently, all it took was a few plane tickets and some box cutters.

     “We shouldn’t be in Iraq since it had nothing to do with 9/11!”
     We unhinged Afghanistan because there were camps training armies of Jihaadists.  These things are all over the Middle East, as well.
     Regardless of whether or not Iraq had anything to do with it, two facts remain.  First, it was an unsecure country with  tons of munitions.  Second, a stabilized Iraq dead in the middle of a Jihaadist region is a perfectly good thing.
     For Iraqis who are fed up with Totalitarian control, isn’t it nice to see them on television now wearing Levis and playing soccer instead of being terrorized by a leader who has had no qualms about killing them by the hundreds of thousands?
     And for Jihaadists … Iraq is a poison pill where the majority of them will face the front, and die for their cause, without killing as many innocent civillians as they have for last thirty years.

     “You’re more likely get killed by lightning than killed by a terrorist!”
     Maybe that’s true.  But maybe it’s only true of now, post-9/11, because we certainly didn’t think it would happen on 10-Sep-2001, now did we?
     Realistically, the NOAA & NWS agree that there were 3684 reported deaths by lightning between 1959 and 2004.  2997 people died (not including the hijackers) on that single day, 11-Sep-2001.
     Given those statistics, is it really fair, comparing nearly fifty years to a single day?
     Regardless of how we may dislike the new “security” measures at airports, they usually don’t inconvenience us terribly.  Sure, we’ve hit a few bumps lately, but we’ll get through it.

     Without the politics to add fuel to these arguments, they all fall apart.  We can sit here, as citizens, getting a tenth of the story at best, and try to second guess, analyze, and make all these stupid connections to find a single person responsible for the mess.
     Thoughts like that will almost never represent the truth.

     We should remember what life was like, realisticly, before 9/11.  We should remember the day.  We should remember those who died for no reason.  And we should never forget.
     Maybe when we all start doing that, we’ll begin to see some improvement.

9/11 Memorial

Firefighter Memorial

Thanks, Mia, for the last two pictures