Posts Tagged with "perry-caravello"

The Most Annoying Day in Facebook History?

December 19th, 2012 at 5:02 pm by Mark
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I disagree with the sentiment that 21-Dec-2012 will be the most annoying day in Facebook history, especially given that on 22-Dec-2012, no less than two hundred million idiots will be pretending that at least half of their “friends” actually believe the hype about the Mayan calendar and the end of the world, and smugly gloating, “See? I told you morons there would be no Apocalypse!”

Besides, everyone knows the Most Annoying Day in Facebook History was the day this asshat started a Facebook fan page

December 21st, 2012 will be the most annoying day in Facebook history.

Asshat of the Day: Perry Caravello

June 5th, 2007 at 12:29 pm by Mark
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     There was a movie called Jackass, but Perry Caravello is King of All Jackasses.  Take a look at this bit from his Legal case against … well, everybody:

SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA
FOR THE COUNTY OF LOS ANGELES

PERRY CARAVELLO, Plaintiff
     v.
JIMMY KIMMEL, JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, DAKOTA NORTH ENTERTAINMENT, INC., DON BARRIS, ADAM COROLLA, KLSC, 97.1., VICE MAGAZINE, MTZ.COM, BLACKHOLE PRODUCTIONS, PARAMOUNT PICTURES UTUBES.COM, and DOES 1 Through 100, INCLUSIVE, Defendants

Case No. BC372039
Filed: May 31, 2007

COMPLAINT FOR DAMAGES

1. ACCOUNTING
2. DECLARATORY RELIEF
3. COMMON COUNT (UNJUST ENRICHMENT)
4. FRAUD
5. NEGLIGENCE

[ skip to the good bits ]

FOURTH CAUSE OF ACTION
(FRAUD)
(AGAINST ALL DEFENDANTS)

[ skip to the good bits ]

     14. On or about September 27, 2006, plaintiff appeared on the Adam Corolla radio show as part of the promotion of the release of the DVD sales of Windy City Heat. Plaintiff was promise by Defendant JOHNNY KNOXVILLE that Plaintiff would be paid 10 million dollars if he placed his penis in a mousetrap. Plaintiff agreed to do so, and, much to his emotional tranquility and to his physical harm, was severely injured when the trap went on his manhood. As a direct, proximate result thereof, Plaintiff had to seek out medical assistance for said injuries, pain and humiliation. The afforementioned incident has without Plaintiff’s permission and consent been widely disseminated and circulated on the Internet, to his prejudice, humiliation and emotional trauama. The named Defendants did nothing to prevent the incident from happening at the radio studio, and actually filmed the event without his permission or consent.

     Ummm… WHAT KIND OF DUMBASS ARE YOU, PERRY?

     Children… Playground… One kids says, “I’ll give you a million dollars to lick my spit off the rail!”
     The other kid licks his spit of the rail.  He smiles, and laughs.
     Everyone standing around says, “Ooooooooooh!  Gross!”
     He smiles and laughs.  He doesn’t expect someone to give him a million dollars.  He got the attention he craved.

     So what … You think the rules change when you are supposed to be old enough to know better?  Welcome to adulthood, Dumbass!

     I mean, Dude, your mashed your meat in a device meant to kill animals — what, did you think this didn’t include big lizardsTrouser snakesWaxed dolphins?  You honestly think someone would give you $10 Million for mangling your missileJamming your JohnsonPillaging your pud?  And how can you possibly fathon the thought that someone isn’t gonna make a video when you were the one STUPID enough to waste your willyTrash your torpedoAnnihilate your antlerSabotage your schlongToast your tool?

     That’s why you get the Asshat of the Day Award, Caravello: For going above and beyond the call of duty to prove that you could be a bigger Jackass than P. J. Clapp ever thought about!
     I’m glad you got a female judge — I’m certain that she’ll make the fallacy (pun intended) of your argument quite clear.  And maybe she’ll remember that P. J. Clapp is Johnny Knoxville’s real name…

     Seriously, the next time you have the urge to preserve your pecker, try not placing it in a mousetrap.