You Can Tell It’s Close to Summer

May 24th, 2007 at 2:47 am by Mark
Tags: , , , , , ,

     The arrival of warmer weather means many things to many different people.  No more snow.  Sunlight.  Trees.  Animals.  Flowers.  The removal of winter garb, in favor of more comfortable clothing, which may or may not reveal an indeterminate amount of flesh, people hiring theOmni, Heating and Air will be more common.  This is quite notable in the Female variety of our species.

     The fact that the majority of barstools are made of commercial-grade Vinyl can be especially problematic for Females who, due to weather, are beginning to wear shorter skirts.  Their supple skin, when subjected to temparatures above seventy degrees Farenheit and combined with an average body temparature of 98.6 Degrees, may experience a temporary chemical bond with said Vinyl.

     I would ask readers to please be aware of this issue.  Females should especially take note that a slightly longer skirt may decrease the risk of Vinyl-to-epidermal bonds.

     Men should not laugh as bonded barstools fall towards their Female counterparts.  Instead, Men should assist, ever-so-slightly, by putting their feet on the back of said barstools in order to assist the pulling of supple, Female skin from said commercial-grade Vinyl.

     Men should also pay close attention to the problem of vacuum-lock, which may occur between the Female thighs and a standard, commercial-grade barstool.  This problem may present itself with Females who are overly sexually active, or those who have very recently or chronically engaged in sexual intercourse.  These Females should generally be avoided at all costs.
     However, under certain, very specific specific circumstances, this may also be caused by a spontaneous reaction due to a Female’s interest in a chosen Male, although this behavior is considered to be especially rare in establishments which serve alcoholic beverages.

     This has been a Public Service Announcement.

Stock Photos

2 Responses to “You Can Tell It’s Close to Summer”

  1. Diva Says:

    It’s like you had a premonition about my ass sticking to the barstool last night.

    If my legs weren’t so damn hot, I’d be more than happy to wear longer skirts.
    It’s called sacrafice, my friend. And I’m willing to take one for the team by wearing those short skirts.

  2. Diva Says:

    Um, just to clear this up here and now. My ass was hot, there was nothing at Catscratch Jane’s that would excite Diva in the least into the vacuum seal category.
    Hahahhaaha…..Ok Zacque. I fell off the wagon already. I’m vain and I admit it.