After attending a Memorial Day service yesterday, something struck me about the observance. Each year, we are inundated with photos of fallen soldiers, flag-draped caskets and mourning wives, mothers, sisters and children.

Is it not better that we honor our fallen Service members by remembering their accomplishments? Remembering their convictions to their Miliary jobs? Remembering that they selflessly put themselves in harm’s way for a greater good?

I think General George Smith Patton, Jr. (1885-1945) said it best…

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived.

To the fallen, whose blood is symbolized by the red stripes of our flag, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for taking part in such noble efforts to create order where there was chaos… for rebuilding what was destroyed… for providing aid to those less fortunate… and most of all, for giving your lives in the course of protecting us, and others, from tyranny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8C7i9kdEf8

As most people already know, the first sign that you’re having a bad is having a take a Number 2 at a public toilet. After this point, it can only get worse…

So last night, I’m craving a bag of Doritos. I picked up a small bag for $0.75 — expensive, no real value, but I had spare change. What do I find inside? Nine chips, lying at the very bottom of what appeared to be a very full bag. Not enough chips to make all ten fingers orange…

After all of this, my fortune said, “You have an interesting tool for success. Use it wisely.” I didn’t even have to add, “…in bed” to the end.

I attempted a variation of this, but try as I might, the anvils just wouldn’t fit in my pockets without tearing my jeans…