Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Be Careful What You Ask For…

September 27th, 2012 at 5:34 pm by Mark
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Be careful what you ask for… You just might get it.

Child Psychology in the Modern Age

September 26th, 2012 at 5:10 pm by Mark
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Almost nobody remembers the 20th century’s foremost “expert” on child psychology, Dr. Spock. No, I’m not talking about pointy-eared, eyebrow-cocking Vulcan from Star Trek. But it does illustrate a point — Television is a bad babysitter, especially when it’s The Walking Dead.

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Can You Read a Woman’s Mind?

September 25th, 2012 at 5:17 pm by Mark
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Many women expect men to make decisions about subjects they have no idea about, especially if they’re not sure what they want. But past decisions about what color and design goes best with the living room curtains or if this belt matches that dress and handbag — and Oh my God! Now we’re going to have to change the makeup now and get a new haircut, or get a hair removal treatment with a Touch Up Laser for more— some women are so impossible that they actually expect a man to read their mind and say what he thinks she wants, whereupon if he improperly predicts the precise words that are bouncing around in the ether of her head, he’s in the proverbial doghouse.

In other cases, you get these types…

New at Target: Misplaced Tags

September 24th, 2012 at 5:19 pm by Mark
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Someone at Target has a sick sense of humor. That is clearly the John Kerry ceramic.

Stock Photos

Jesus 2.0

September 23rd, 2012 at 1:16 pm by Mark
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The first Jesus 2.0 prototype is spectacularly unimpressive…