Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Innappropriate Behavior for High School Cheerleaders

May 18th, 2012 at 5:58 pm by Mark
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For several years, many parents have felt that most cheerleading programs & routines crossed the line and were far too “provocative.”

Dating 102: The Illustrated Guide to Picking Up Chicks

May 17th, 2012 at 5:19 pm by Mark
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As in Dating 101, keep it simple. Once you’ve approached the object of your desire, assure it you’re not a douchebag, and refer to the diagram below.

Stock Photos

Build Your Own AT-AT Walker

May 16th, 2012 at 5:06 pm by Mark
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Sure, there are a few kinks to work out, including, but not limited to, its innate need to attack household pets, chase cars, SQUIRREL! roll in mud, SQUIRREL! attempt to eat pizza delivery men, SQUIRREL! etc. Waste management may also be an issue…

Samuel Owl Jackson is Sick of Your Meme!

May 15th, 2012 at 7:59 pm by Mark
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“I DARE YOU TO SAY MEME AGAIN!”

Note: Source. See more Samuel Owl Jackson on Twitter.

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

Sarcasm & Irony As Illustrated by Grammar & Spelling

May 15th, 2012 at 5:17 pm by Mark
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There is a subtle difference between sarcasm and irony.

Sarcasm: That sure is a nice question mark, Grammar Nazi #2.

Irony: Why did they misspell, “Congratulations?”

Any questions?