Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

If Jesus Had Facebook…

March 25th, 2012 at 1:55 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , ,

With 144,000 friends, Calender Event privacy set to “Family,” Relationship Status set to “Only Me,” and constant friend requests from whackjobs, Jesus would probably hide his Facebook profile. Oh, but there would be a Dislike button.

Tip: Amy @ UrlyBits

Pornography Harms

March 24th, 2012 at 5:27 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , ,

I’ll bet the guy holding the first sign knows from first “hand” experience…

Stock Photos

That’s What She Said: Star Wars Edition

March 24th, 2012 at 10:23 am by Mark
Tags: , , , , ,

This Pickup Line Can’t Fail

March 23rd, 2012 at 5:20 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , ,

Although, the “backflip” in question will most probably be a back-handed, one-fingered salute…

Stock Photos

Everybody’s Ridden that SLUT!

March 22nd, 2012 at 5:11 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , , , ,

Regardless of the popularity of this particular t-shirt, Salt Lake, Utah still holds the sales record for SLUT merchandise.