Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Sarcastic Teenagers

March 6th, 2012 at 5:06 pm by Mark
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Though considered troublesome by many, teenage sarcasm may be directly proportionate to the number of “TMI” (Too Much Information) episodes by a given parent…

How Twilight Should Have Ended – Part 2

March 5th, 2012 at 5:22 pm by Mark
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In the next scene, after getting rid of Bella, Blade looks at Edward and says, “Looks like your mascara’s running.” Edward, in true glitter-boy fashion, doesn’t intend to hang around…

Stock Photos

Team Edward? Team Jacob?

March 5th, 2012 at 5:04 pm by Mark
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For those who can’t be restricted to Twilight’s rather limited Team Necrophilia or Team Bestiality, now there’s an alternative…

Baseball Fanaticism

March 4th, 2012 at 5:55 pm by Mark
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I’ve always heard local sports rivalries can get pretty ugly…

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The Dark Side

March 4th, 2012 at 1:25 pm by Mark
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