Posts Tagged with "jokes"

The Blonde Speeder and the Blonde Cop

February 27th, 2014 at 5:31 pm by Jason
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I know a few blonde officers but none of them are that bad…

Finally...The Blone Joke to End All Blonde Jokes:  A blonde woman was sppeing down the road in her little red sports car when she was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see her driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.  "Here it is," she said.  The blonde officer looked at the mirror and handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

Are Helen Keller Jokes Offensive?

February 6th, 2014 at 5:32 pm by Mark
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If I have to ask whether a joke is going to offend anyone before I post it, it probably is. That does not, however, mean I that won’t spew coffee out my nose the first time I hear it…

Helen Keller and her beloved cat, "Mittens"

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

Math Is *NOT* Hard

February 21st, 2013 at 5:08 pm by Mark
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Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The countergirl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and three pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this?

Because it has to do with the evolution of teaching math since the 1950s…

  • Teaching Math In 1950s:

    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.

    What is his profit ?

  • Teaching Math In 1960s:

    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.

    What is his profit?

  • Teaching Math In 1970s:

    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80.

    Did he make a profit?

  • Teaching Math In 1980s:

    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

  • Teaching Math In 1990s:

    A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20.. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?

    (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s ok.)

  • Teaching Math In 2009:

    Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.

    ¿Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

  • Teaching Math In 2010:

    Who cares, just steal the lumber from your rich neighbor’s property. He won’t have a gun to stop you, and the President says it’s OK, anyway, because it’s redistributing wealth.

If you can’t do math, you have no business working a cash register.

Math Problems?  Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

Source: Unknown

“Your Mom” Jokes from India

January 10th, 2013 at 5:07 pm by Mark
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That’s okay, I understand… And I can’t comment on your mom when I’m in Thailand…

I cannot comment on your Mother... Because cows are sacred in my country.

Stock Photos

The Art of Trolling

January 7th, 2013 at 5:34 pm by Mark
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Know how to keep an idiot in suspense?

I’ll tell you tomorrow…

The Art of Trolling is Simple...