After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnet™ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
On May 12th, 2011, former Georgia Senator Newt Gingrich announced his plan to run for President of the United States in 2012.
Supporters of New York’s Donald Trump, who previously announced his intent to run for President, immediately demanded proof of whether Newt is an amphibian or a reptile. The Gingrich team countered, demanding clarification as to whether that “thing on Trump’s head” is a mammal or a marsupial.
Meanwhile, Trump’s toupee has filed a motion to amend the Bill of Rights by adding provisions against interspecial discrimination.
With this sort of craziness inherent in the upcoming elections, only one thing is certain:
