While anti-Death Penalty activists littered the streets with see-no-evil, hear-no-evil antics, a Knox County Jury who actually heard the case against Lemaricus Davidson were deliberating.

     It was a short deliberation.

     Davidson was sentenced to Death.

     A joint press release by Saddam Hussein and Jeffrey Dahmer says that there was overwhelming applause for the outcome of the trial, and wish Davidson a safe and expedient journey to his new residence in Hell.

     “Ain’t so bad, cause you can smoke anywhere,” said Tupac Shakur, another Hell resident. “But they ain’t got Menthol.”

     I will attempt to keep this post up-to-date with new developments.

     Fracas gave me reason #8934 I shouldn’t use Twitter.  I blame my complete and total lack of self control on her, since she’s the one who pointed out that stupid #oneletteroffmovies bit, where you take a movie title and change one letter for an entirely different meaning…
     Needless to say, my Twitter Traffic has been disturbingly high.

Mark Ruffalo stars as the entire cast in Ruffalo Soldiers. #oneletteroffmovies
1 minute ago

Little chance of being frightened at this pathetic, cult musical comedy: Little Shot of Horrors #oneletteroffmovies
1 minute ago

Horror/Shocker as an escort establishment suffers from a rash of pregnancies. Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Brood #oneletteroffmovies
3 minutes ago

Puffy Combs makes a deal with Baalzebub. Bedizzled. #oneletteroffmovies
6 minutes ago

Jim Carrey stalks Matthew Broderick in: The Cable Gay. #oneletteroffmovies
8 minutes ago

More of Howard Stern’s assinine humor. Private Farts. #oneletteroffmovies
8 minutes ago

Roger’s getting a little old to still be single…. Roger Codger #oneletteroffmovies
8 minutes ago

Meanwhile, Lorraina Bobbit has her own plans… Deconstructing Hairy #oneletteroffmovies
10 minutes ago

Alfred Hitchcock’s protaginst suffers from ED. The Trouble with Hairy. #oneletteroffmovies
11 minutes ago

Gena Rowlands and Winona Ryder know which Wayne’s World star they find attractive. Night on Garth #oneletteroffmovies
12 minutes ago

Capt. Yossarian escapes the horror of World War II by making magic brownies. Batch-22 #oneletteroffmovies
13 minutes ago

Basketball coach Billy Bob Thornton finds out he really is above average… Mr. Hoodcock #oneletteroffmovies
15 minutes ago

Katherine Waterston reveals her nickname for the breasts she’s about to expose. The Babysisters. #oneletteroffmovies
16 minutes ago

He came. He saw. He acted like a pervert. Veni! Vidi! Vicie! #oneletteroffmovies
21 minutes ago

May the Bluebird of Happieness forever urinate in your Cheerios. Piss Congeniality. #oneletteroffmovies
24 minutes ago

Sean Penn knows you lose 21 grams when you die. Now he knows how much he loses when he poops. 219 Grams. #oneletteroffmovies
25 minutes ago

Mark Ruffalo and Ethan Hawk give up a dangerous life of crime for simple credit card fraud. What Doesn’t Bill You. #oneletteroffmovies
29 minutes ago

Bruce Willis portrays Greg Luganis and his head-splitting injury: Dive Hard #oneletteroffmovies
31 minutes ago

Does anyone understand why constipation seems to hit caucasians harder? White Men Can’t Dump #oneletteroffmovies
33 minutes ago

Lila Littleworld realizes Canada is f#&*ing cold in, Frozen Liver #oneletteroffmovies
36 minutes ago

Wener Hertzog studies English as a Second Language in, Encounters at the End of the Word #oneletteroffmovies
36 minutes ago

Tommy Lee Jones plays a nasty prank in The Electric Mint #oneletteroffmovies
40 minutes ago

Don Cheadle moves to Iowa in Tractor #oneletteroffmovies
40 minutes ago

Madea becomes a Meteorologist in Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Hail #oneletteroffmovies
42 minutes ago

Eddit Murphy stars as a robotic blow-up doll in Meat Dave #oneletteroffmovies
43 minutes ago

Rob Schneider takes a laundry job in prison… The Big Stain #oneletteroffmovies
44 minutes ago

Stanley Tucci finds Bridget Fonda may not be straight… The Whore Shebang #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

Chelsea Makela, Damon Wayans, and an all New Zealand Cast. Dance Flock. #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

George Clooney asks his girlfriend to stop eating spicy food in, Burn After Reaming #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

Renee Zellweger goes anti-semitic in Jew in Town #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

Russel Crow finds Jeebus in State of Pray. #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

Jennifer Aniston loses all her hair in Mangement #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

Walt Disney present, Tinker Hell! #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago from web

KungPow: Enter the Fish #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

Head Again #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

9 1/2 Peeks #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

Tool for Love … (Sam Shepherd/Kim Basinger/Harry Dean Stanton) #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

Crapped in Paradise #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

The Mighty Fucks #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

@ManInTheMittle Lay Anything… #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

Never Lay Never Again #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

Bone With the Wind #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

The Porn Blows at Midnight #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

Little Big Porn #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

‘Pucker Up and Bark Like a Dog’ aka ‘Tits’ (http://tinyurl.com/yzjtee5) #oneletteroffmoviesabout 15 hours ago

@stephintoronto Gay After Tomorrow #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago from web in reply to stephintoronto

Tenacious D in The Dick of Destiny #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

Unsure Cunts (Yes, I couldn’t help it – http://tinyurl.com/yjwr5d3) #oneletteroffmovies
about 16 hours ago

     Now, with wasted wit, I can’t even write a decent post.

     So, thanks, Fracas, for screwing up my blog with this nonsense!  😉

     For clarity’s sake, that was Eddie Murphy, Lila Littlewolf, etc. in the above list.  There are a number of typoes.  I won’t bother to fix them.  Yes, I did that on purpose. 
     And for that, I blame Dan Quayle.

     So in the process of cleaning this blog up, pulling out some fluff and doubling the speed, I ran across a several bits of “extra” code that are quite a lot less than necessary…

     Can someone please tell what this means?

… [This plugin] is in the 2.6 version of WordPress after the automatic accession to the revised edition of the journal preservation cause, you modify a log of each, will add a revision, if you modify many times, log on the few speeches, it will be a very frightening number!If you have 100 on the log, your revisiong redundancy may be as many as 1,000 articles!

[This plugin] is the end came, to delete a large number of redundant revision to increase the speed of implementation of the SQL statement, WordPress upgrade the speed there is a lot of benefits!

Thank you for your useing. I hope this will give you convenient plug-ins!

     I has a loss…

     And if you think the Engrish is bad, you should see the math it does…

Now You have 838 posts ,Up to now [this plugin] has deteted 1042 post revision of dedundancy,it’s easy . Wish happy ending !

     Regardless of how many times I run it, 838 != 1042.

     So I’m sitting down to play another friggin’ boring game of Call of Duty: World at War on the Xbox 360.  I hate that game.  I truly do.  I play it because a few friends drag me in, and tonight, I decided try and improve my gamer score a little. 
     But no bones about it, I hate the game.  It’s laggy-slow.  It commandeers bandwidth worse than the porn-hungry neighbor who “stealz ur internets.”  The glitches and screen artifacts pretty much screw up any chance of having a decent experience playing the game in multiplayer mode.  The bug reporting mechanism to the manufacturer, Treyarch, pretty well leaves you open to be bashed and belittled by the game’s developers for even having the balls to open your mouth about their precious turd.
     And if friends would stop playing it, so would I.  Which is why I’m looking forward to Infinity Ward’s release next month:  Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, because Treyarch, and their patheticly overdone World War II scenarios, can suck my left nut, right nut and anus.  Or, better yet, Brandon’s anus…

     So anyway … About an hour ago, I was abruptly disconnected from Xbox LIVE for an update.  It took a several minutes. 
     “Okay, WTF?”
     My Xbox restarted, downloaded a few more updates.  Restarted again.

     By 10PM EST, I was back online, with a new tab in my dashboard.

     “Xbox Preview.”

     Ahh, looking around… Facebook? Check.  Twitter?  Check.  Zune Video Marketplace?  Check.  Xbox LIVE News?  Check.  MSNBC?  Check.  Dillbert?  Check.  The New Yorker Cartoons?  Check.  last.fm?  Well… if you can call it that.

     Yep … all working … trippy … so I send out a couple of test messages on Twitter, update my Facebook status, browse friends and leave a couple comments…
     Then I start screwing around with the absolute worst interface ever:  The last.fm app seriously sucks.  I can’t even explain “why” it sucks, except to say, you’ll have to experience the suckiness yourself to understand.  Basically, if you’re looking for something easy to use, sensible, start a channel and add music to it, you’re pretty well going to be in “WTF?” land for a while.

     That aside … It’s still a bunch of neat new toys.  If you’d like to sign up for the “next generation” Xbox 360 Dashboard, go and register.  And get one of these, because you’re gonna need it…

     Why, now, I can see when this Brandon twit decides to Tweet that he’s going to take a crap … without having to log into my PC … *rolls eyes*

     On October 23rd, 1925 in Corning, Iowa, Johnny Carson was born.  It’s strange how the life such an interesting character like him can go virtually unknown.
     Neat little tidbits… Like…

     The fact that he was an Ensign in the US Navy, and reported for duty on the USS Pensylvania on August 25th, 1945?  Yep, the last day of World War II.  On the Pacific front, no less, a mere two weeks after the ship had been torpedoed.  His first job?  Superivising the removal of twenty dead seamen as the carrier made its way to Guam for repairs… After that, he went on to become a communications officer, decrypting encoded messages…

     He graduated from college in 1949 with a minor in Physics, he worked really hard to pay for his physics tuition singapore.  That makes it even less surprising that he was an amateur Astronomer who owned several telescopes, including a grossly-superior Maksutov-Cassegrain Reflector Telescope by Questar.  The Maksutov-Cassegrain shows about three time the light of other reflectors (I’d almost kill for one).

     In the 1950’s, Carson filled in for Red Skelton, who’d managed to knock himself unconcious before one of his shows.

     In the early 60’s, Carson was considered for the leading role, Rob Petrie, on the show that eventually became “The Dick Van Dyke Show.”  He was a regular on several game shows as a panellist and host.

     Throughout the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, he regularly rubbed elbows with the rich and famous on The Tonight Show.  There are plenty of stories, some of which were proven untrue.  Especially the one about Zsa Zsa’s cat… In answer to her question, no, he didn’t reply, “Sure, if you’ll get that cat out of the way.”

Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand … you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say “Storms suck!”
— Johnny Carson

     In the 1980’s, Carson was a major investor in DeLorean Motor Company, the failed auto company of John DeLorean.  It’s too bad, too … It was a great looking car.  All stainless steel, and especially cool when tricked out with a 1.21 jigawatt flux capacitor.
     He also had a moderately successful clothing line.

     Probably one of the best known facts is that Carson didn’t care for Leno, who inherited the Tonight Show in 1992.  He’d actually asked that David Letterman fill his shoes, but the network chose Leno instead.  There was a lot of animosity on all sides. 
     Carson reortedly continued to send Letterman jokes for his monologue until his death in 2005.
     Interestingly, that’s about the time Letterman started to suck so vehemently…
     It’s amazing the crap we get stuck with on TV…

     After this evening’s seance with Johnny, attended by another dead friend, I had the opportunity to ask Carson what he thought of this whole David Letterman and Stephanie The-One-Who-Shall-Be-Called-Vicky Burkitt affair.  Pun not intended, but there it is.

     The obviously disappointed Carson furrowed his brown and dead-panned (again, pun not intended, but there it is):

     “When turkeys mate, they think of swans.”

     So, Happy Birthday, Johnny. 

     You’re sorely missed.

     *Golf swing in your general direction!*