After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
February 8th, 2014 at 3:12 pm by Mark
Tags: dating, fail, flirting, homeless, innuendo, pickup lines, sarcasm
This one goes really great with other lines like, “Car? No, but I’d be happy to give you a ride!” and “Hey, baby! Wanna make a few extra bucks?”
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February 8th, 2014 at 1:54 pm by Mark
Tags: cheeseburgers, food, hotdogs, manufacturing
There’s a reason things like this end up at UGO & Big Lots.
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February 7th, 2014 at 9:10 pm by Mark
Tags: relationships, sleep, spooning
Some things in a relationship are considered, “acceptable risk.” Spooning is one of them.
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February 7th, 2014 at 7:01 pm by Mark
Tags: memes, nobody got time, one does not simply
When memes get old, sometimes they bear an only child.
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February 7th, 2014 at 5:56 pm by Mark
Tags: men without hats, most interesting man, safety dance
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