After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
January 18th, 2014 at 5:45 pm by Mark
Tags: autocorrect, cellphones, spell check, spelling
I really don’t wanna hear about your “best” one…

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January 17th, 2014 at 9:35 pm by Mark
Tags: food, innuendo, NSFW, pussy, sammich, sex, vagina
The least he could do is eat it. The best he could do is finish.

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January 17th, 2014 at 7:46 pm by Mark
Tags: fahq, marriage, proposals, rejection, rings
To the groom to be, at least it wasn’t her middle finger.

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January 17th, 2014 at 5:33 pm by Mark
Tags: coffee, marriage, proposals, sarcasm, trolls
I’m sure this sort of pranking is why I’ll be going to Hell…

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January 17th, 2014 at 1:11 pm by Mark
Tags: dating, decisions, food, games, relationships, sarcasm
I’ve seen this game played out over and over.
The corollary: I never gave a damn about where to eat — food is food, and I eat a lot of it — because spending time with and keeping her happy was always the more important priority.
Me? I’ll take a $5 Taco Bell box, and probably eat again in an hour. 😉

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