Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemas Closet?

January 18th, 2014 at 5:45 pm by Mark
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I really don’t wanna hear about your “best” one…

Auto Correct Has Become My Worst Enema

Something Extra in Your Sandwich (NSFW)

January 17th, 2014 at 9:35 pm by Mark
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The least he could do is eat it. The best he could do is finish.

I don't think I can eat this sandwich...

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Marriage Proposal Rejected by Finger

January 17th, 2014 at 7:46 pm by Mark
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To the groom to be, at least it wasn’t her middle finger.

"I said yes!"  Smapaynepapi: "But your finger says no. :-("

Unexpected Proposals

January 17th, 2014 at 5:33 pm by Mark
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I’m sure this sort of pranking is why I’ll be going to Hell…

"Marry Me" Coffee Cup: Imagine how much fun you could have with these while service random couples in a coffee shop.

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The Dating Game: You Can’t Win Edition

January 17th, 2014 at 1:11 pm by Mark
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I’ve seen this game played out over and over.

The corollary: I never gave a damn about where to eat — food is food, and I eat a lot of it — because spending time with and keeping her happy was always the more important priority.

Me? I’ll take a $5 Taco Bell box, and probably eat again in an hour. 😉

So then I told him, "No, you choose the restaurant. I don't care where we go. lolz"