After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
December 14th, 2013 at 5:23 pm by Mark
Tags: dating, drinking, flirting, humor, men, photos, sarcasm, women
I know you’ve heard the line, “After 3AM, everyone’s gorgeous.” It’s important to make your decisions prior to drinking.

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December 13th, 2013 at 9:13 pm by Mark
Tags: advertising, birth control, condoms, durex, honey booboo, sarcasm
International Condom marker, Durex, has repeatedly made a name for itself with its edgy, sarcastic advertising.

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December 13th, 2013 at 5:08 pm by Mark
Tags: drinking, family photos, sarcasm
Who says you can’t make sarcastic family photos for the Holidays? And if this family has had things as rough as most people have this year, she’s probably graduated to Jack Daniels.

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December 12th, 2013 at 9:08 pm by Mark
Tags: Beer, boobs, bras, breasts, drinking, fighting
As accidental — albeit stupid — as it might be, you just know there’s going to be some serious fallout… [pun intended]

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December 12th, 2013 at 5:04 pm by Mark
Tags: bad news, parenting, sarcasm, teenagers
This, of course, assumes that your parents don’t rip your head off shoulders before you have a chance to come clean…

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