After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
March 22nd, 2013 at 7:57 pm by Mark
Tags: credit cards, innuendo, penis-envy, sex, women
It’s not the size of the tool, but how you use it that makes all the difference…

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March 21st, 2013 at 9:02 pm by Mark
Tags: cats, grumpy cat, hello kitty, japan, social commentary
While the Japanese emphasize “cute” and “happy” with Hello Kitty, Americans do tend to emphasize the negative with “Grumpy Cat” and “Hellno Kitty.”

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March 20th, 2013 at 5:52 pm by Mark
Tags: blood, relationships, romantic
Strangely enough, I’ve seen it both ways. When posting images on the Internet, context definitely counts…

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March 19th, 2013 at 5:39 pm by Mark
Tags: god, pope, pope francis, religion
If the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was the symbol of knowledge and freewill, and the average Apple product is connected to all the knowledge of mankind with a “Think Different!” moniker, then I’d say the new Pope is f@#$ed…

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March 18th, 2013 at 5:34 pm by Mark
Tags: advertising, candles, walmart
I think these candles at WalMart might be new, but I’m not really sure…

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