With the whole Anna Nicole debacle of late, I find myself wondering why some people do the things that they do which in turn result in an untimely death of said person.

And with all of my deep thoughts of whys and hows, and with trying to come up with some super interesting reason, I’ve decided it’s simply a case of natural selection. Let’s take un momento to analyze how I have come to this conclusion.

Example 1 – The jack ass from Iraq who mailed a letter bomb, which was returned to him for insufficient postage.

 The bomb blew, he’s dead. Why? Natural selection. Somebody stupid enough to be mailing letter bombs in the first place should get blown up by some means. The fact that it was by his own bomb makes it epic.

Example 2- The rocket scientist who decided to ride a jet-ski off of Niagara Falls, hit the home-made rocket to shoot him over the past the falls, and get picked up upon landing.

 Duh. What kind of dork puts a plan like that into motion? I seriously wonder what the last thing he thought was…. “Oh shit, Batman, this ain’t gonna work!?!?!”

Hello, natural selection. Somebody stupid enough to go over Niagara Falls in the first place hasn’t go enough common sense to walk and chew at the same time… Natural selection.

Luckily, this guy didn’t have time to procreate any off-spring as he was too busy making dud rockets.

Example 3 – Although the number of car crashes with trains has decreased since 1976, approximately 500 people per year still try and outrun them.

In the not so distant past, most of the railroad crossings here in the United States didn’t have any kind of warning system in place to warn motorists that a train was coming. As if looking to your left and seeing that 118 tons (give or take) of steel, bolts, nuts, and steam barreling down the tracks isn’t enough to tell you a train is coming…

So, local governments nationwide began putting up railroad crossing signals. You know, you’ve seen them… the flashing red lights on either side of the road, the huge bar that drops down blocking an idiot motorist from getting to close to the tracks, the loud bells that scream “dang, dang, dang”… right. So, these precautions are in place for what reason?

Anybody?

They are in place for people who are too blind, or too careless to see that 118 tons of death on a track is coming right at them at possibly 50 MPH.

However, the epitome of stupidity is the motorist who is just so sure he/she can make it around that huge arm barrier to the other side of the track before that 118 tons of death on a track gets to them. Ooops, doesn’t work out quite so well every time. One occurrence in Silicone Valley, CA, shows us that regardless of all the bells and whistles in place, some people are just too ignorant to realize they can be smited from this Earth. Natural selection? I think so.
I suppose I would hate to do something really stupid that resulted in death. Seriously. If you don’t want to die of a deadly cocktail of drugs, hello… don’t do the cocktail of drugs.

If you don’t want to die by hitting the water/rocks at 100 MPH, don’t jump, rocket, jetski, boat, or swim over Niagara or any other falls.

If you don’t want to go down in your family history as the moron who tried to beat up the train, don’t try to out run the train…

Pretty simple, kids.

I was listening to WATE news this morning while I was getting ready to go to work. I just about poked my eye out with my mascara wand when I heard them say that the vote was 18 – 12 on the bill that Tim Burchett has sponsored which would allow any adult (over 21) driver of a motorcycle could ride legally without a helmet.

Well, now there’s a really good idea. I’m really a simple minded girl. But, the possible outcome of letting a bunch of YAY-hoo’s run rampant on the roads with nothing there to protect what brains God gave them doesn’t sound at all too smart.

Scenario: Let’s jump onto a land missile, gun it up to 125mph, dart in and out of traffic, and hope with all that’s good, that we don’t get into an accident wherein we fly off of the motorcyle, sail 100 feet through the air, land on or whack our head and spill our brain out all over the road for everybody that passes by to see.

Burchett, who is a Rep. senator from Knoxvegas, was catapulted to fame with his “We should have the right to scoop up that possum from the side of the road and eat it” bill of 1999.

So, within this rant I wish to pose two questions:

1. If a dork on a crotch rocket decides to fore go the helmet, gets in a horrific crash and subsequently dies, wouldn’t that, in theory, be considered natural selection?Think about it, if a body is stupid enough to rip and roar down the freeway without some sort of protection on said head, isn’t it a matter of natural selection. The stupid ones go to make way for the more intellectually superior?Not to imply that I think someone who rides with no helmet should go die, not at all. I’m just saying USE YOUR HEAD PEOPLE.
2. The second question that came to mind when considering this bill, along with the ding-dong that supported it is this: If we in the Great State of Tennessee are legally allowed to chow down on some tasty raccoon, ‘possum, deer or whatever else may fly out in front of us, does that mean cannibalism of the dork-non-helmet-type- motorcycle rider is legal?

I don’t eat meat, so I gain nothing from this theory. Just having a little fun.

     Several months ago, I linked to Maddox’s Best Page in the Universe article, “There is no 9/11 Conspiracy You Morons,” which featured a  hilarious slam against Glenn Beck.
     If you’re too lazy to read it, I’ll break it down.  It states that: the fact that the creator of the “Loose Change” conspiracy video is still alive — given the conspiracy theory that our government killed several thousand people on a whim — pretty much proves that there is no conspiracy.  Oh, and that Glenn Beck is an asshole.

     Well, Maddox is at it again with his new Conspiracy Theory spoof, “Unfastened Coins: 2nd Edition, Remix 8, 6th Cut.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saHs6J0OXVI

     Those experiments reminded me of some of Spooked’s experiments (which Instapinch turned me onto) comparing rabbit cages and kerosene to the WTC and airplane fuel…

Tip: Les Jones

In general I try to be a believer that most people are telling the truth about the little things. I mean, what would one have to gain by telling stupid little white lies about little things that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things… until they are lied about. Then they become a problem.

In my simple little mind, if one will lie about the smallest of frivolous things, what would make me think that the same one wouldn’t lie about something big?

Is this any way to find trust? I honestly think not.

If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. But when you are asked if you are doing it, and you aren’t doing it… be honest and say, “Well, I decided not to and that’s why I’m doing this instead”.

It is as simple as that. Resolved in one simple sentence. Now I am sitting here wondering if little things are falsehoods often…

     Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words…

     And in case see it and think, “No way! Someone’s been messing with the sign!” the Spanish Translation on the other side would prove otherwise…

     Sometimes modern translations can be a little … ummm … too modern.  😉  Before anyone drives to Memphis to rip Pastor Whalum a new donkey-hole,  check out this bit from the KJV:

Mat 21:1 And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples,

Mat 21:2 Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me.

     See?  It was innocent afterall … but good for a laugh, anyway.  😉

Photo Credit: Chris Davis of the Memphis Flyer. Good stuff, guys!