Shock value advertising has been a growing trend in the UK for the last two years. Going backwards from the March 2010 release of Fucking Hell, we also find Pussy from 2009:

The name Pussy shocks and demands attention — that’s the point. Inhibition is a recipe for mediocrity. This is a premium energy drink named with confidence.

As much as the sales team can wax poetic about the value of Pussy, their television commercials do seem to leave people wondering.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBhIr_FbzCU

Many young women in the UK have decided to experiment with Pussy. Sometimes they like it, and sometimes they don’t. It’s so difficult to tell peoples’ particular preference these days.

If you’re into Pussy, you can find it almost everywhere in London, from street corners in the morning on the way to work, to pubs and clubs in the late evening.

But one thing is for certain. Pussy can be damned expensive…

     Despondent, I decided to play poker.  There was an ad.  Win something.

     Considering that I’ve already made my tournament entry and that I’ve previously blogged about my disdain for the Sony Playstation 3, I sure am glad it’s not one of those.

     Yes, I make plenty of typographical errors.  But if I was going to put up an ad, a billboard, a t-shirt or a business card, it’d just have to be Typo Free.

** The name of the company in question has been changed.

Ok, kids.   I have been doing my bestest trying to be nicer to people.  This has been going on for some time now.  However, nothing gets the better of me than those annoying ass automated phone calls from Joe Solicitor.  Or the calls you get from Sally Salesperson where they ask for you by first name and try to act like an acquaintance…  Dayum.  I thought that shit was borderline illegal on a harassment level.

Anyway, today I turned the tables.  I got an automated call from “Kelly”.  She was offering us the moon and stars and possibly the sun too if we would “press one to stay on the line for a representitive”.

So, I press one.  I hold for a brief 20 seconds or so, expecting “Kelly” will pick up personally and explain to me this great pitch of hers.  A pitch I intended to let her waste her time giving before asking to have all of our business numbers removed from her bullshit auto-dial system.

All that went out the window, when rather than “Kelly”, some deep voiced, crankity, old british dude picked up. 

“You’re not Kelly.”  I say to him, agast that the wool was pulled over my eyes.

“No, that was a recording.  Are you interested in learning more.”  He blurts out in harsh monotone.

“Uh.  No.  Actually.  I’m really, really tired of you people calling us and would like you to remove our number from your database.”

“Done.”  He said as he disconnects my call.

OH NO HE DIDN’T.

God bless *69.  I annoy the shit out of many-a-telemarketer when I can actually get my hands on the number they called from.

So I dial *69 and get the number.  I press each digit and the little british weasel that hung up on me answered.

**”First Asshat”  He answers.

“Yah.  I was connected to you to be removed from your call list and you hung up on me.”  I lament.

“Well, I didn’t hang up, but you have been removed.”  He sneers.

“How the hell am I removed when you only called one of our numerous numbers, sir? Can you explain that?  Do you have a list with every company that notes every number within that company?” 

I’m ready to fight with him by this time. 

“We have them.”  He hangs up again.

So, me (being me), I dial them up again.

“First Asshat”  It was some uptight manly sounding british woman this time.

“I’m calling to be removed from your call list.”

“Yes, that’s why I answered, I heard the conversation with my employee.”  She says.

“It’s pretty simple.  Remove all of our numbers, now, or I will call you 500 times a day until Jesus comes back.”  I tell her.

“They will be removed.”  She retorts as SHE hangs up on me.

Needless to say, I have spent the last hour randomly picking up the phone, dialing the number and saying…

“Hi it’s me.  Only XXX number of the promised calls left today.”

I kind of wonder if I can get in trouble for it.  If anybody would like to have the same big ball of fun as I am, and help me annoy the shit out of these people, I’d be glad to share the phone number with ya.

Happy dialing!

There’s no doubt about it … everybody’s website needs a good search engine ranking, especially if you’re trying to run a web-based business.  But when you’re running a blog, full of personal thoughts and random ideas, it can be a daunting task to figure out what niche your blog fits into with the best SEO Consultant.
Hell, take us, for example … We’ve got tech articles.  We have “what’s going on in my life” articles.  We have political and current events articles.  And, past that, we have a lot of things with varying degrees of humor (I say varying degress because regardless of how funny the eight of us might find it, many people will have absolutely no clue what the Hell we’re on about).

My favorites are the “What the hell?” articles.  The screwing–with–google–on-a–regular–basis (and especially Joseph Ferrante) articles, we’ve had some pretty decent results… especially since we’re traveled enough to get same-day-indexing.  😉
These things work, ladies and gentlemen, and don’t let any wannabe SEO firm tell you otherwise. Except for some of the Local SEO Brisbane agencies, most of them refute to the above.

However … When you’re out of a specific niche, social rankings come heavily into play.

Mybloglog has been given us a ton of traffic, for instance.  I was introduced to BlogCatalog last night, and that’s pretty cool.  Fuelmyblog has been freaking tremendous.  Linking to your site from a MySpace blog also helps.  And if you’ve got a lot of bloggers in your community (like we do here in Knoxville), reciprocating links with your neighbors is a Hell of a good way to bolster some new visitors.
Digg, Tehcnorati, del.icio.us and such are useful, but unless you’re getting the traffic in there to start adding to those sites, they’re not gonna help all that much.  But what you can do is join any number of social organizations, such as Dosh Dosh’s Technorati Favorites Exchange, where you’ll actaully stand a chance of improving your Technorati rank — which definitely improves your readership and your ability to sell advertising.

Actually, Dosh Dosh’s article made me take pause.  I’ve been pretty good about adding local blogs to my Favorites sections of those types of social networking sites.  As long as there’s some reciprocity, it can really help increase the rank of all of the sites involved. Also, if you want the power of your Sage ERP or Sage CRE software to be on the next level, read more here.
Now, if only us locals could organize and effort to reciprocate links, then, uh… Like I said, it only stands to help us all.  😉  [ *makes mental note to get Instapundit onboard … heh* ]

     For a few weeks now, Fracas has been pointing out the fact that plenty of people are searching for Shyamali Malakar, and crotch shots, and ending up at her blog.
     Just a few minutes ago, she did a pretty decent post about the whole Shyamali hysteria… Seriously, the girl has attained a level of geek-obsession higher than anyone I can ever remember — even after livinh through the Sam Fox, Amy Weber, Teri Hatcher, Alicia Silverstone, Kate Moss, Gillian Anderson and Callista “Ally McBony” Flockheart years (those were prior obsessions, not my picks).

     Fracas is also doing the “FuelMyBlog” thing. She’s entered the Design a Widget competition over there, and done a helluva job, too, but they haven’t updated the competition page with it just yet.

     Nice job, Fracas!

      Now let’s see if we can channel teh Internets your way a little…

     Ya know, though, Fracas, I still think doing one with Shyamali and ALT’ing it “Shyamali Malakar Nude” would get some serious traffic headed in your direction… 😉

     (God, after writing this, I feel so dirty…)