I’ve wanted one thing for the last three Christmas’s in a row.  The only reason I didn’t want it for the Christmas’s prior was because, well, I didn’t know it existed.

     In the spirit of Christmas — and drinking — I refuse to put Bob & Doug MacKenzie’s Twelve Days of Christmas on this blog because it’s just too cliche.  Instead, I’d have you all enjoy this alternative Bob & Doug MacKenzie bit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsgVspgy184

     So Merry Christmas, boys and girls.  And may all your beer be mouse-free.

The smellier the fumes the smaller the load?

Ponderance:  I’ve had a user account on this site for what feels to be like EONS and I now realize that I’ve only really blogged about poo, jiz, asshats, random destruction, and other rants regarding mundane bullshit.  Why hasn’t anyone revoked my rights?  What does this say about the administrator?  Why are we here?  Why do we have to listen to the likes of Barry Manilow?  And most importantly, who is Tom Cruise?

     I could make a regular series of “Weird Shit I’ve Heard Tonight.”   But only because this night isn’t any different than any other night … well, except those nights I stay home playing the Xbox 360… Which I do a lot of.  By choice.

     Tonight … ?

     “Computers are smarter than me, so if I use them, I can learn something,” she said.
     “A computer is a tool,” I said as I pulled a screwdriver from my coat pocket.  “It’s only as smart as the shit people put in it.  Can you learn anything from this?”
     “But I already know how to screw,” she said, looking at the screwdriver I was taking back from her hand.

     *cough*

     Believe me, I’ll carry a wrench in my coat pocket from now on…

Any powerpoint attachments sent to any of my accounts will now be forwarded immediately to Bill Gate’s Personal E-Mail address and then deleted.

I don’t care that it’s 3AM. I don’t care that you are “half-here”. Just get it done!

Well, it didn’t go like that, but it was pretty close. I’ve had to rely on Mark for last minute shit for what, 4 or 5 years now? Have I ever gotten shit on for it? Well one time I saw a semi-vague, yet polite, blog post about it, but otherwise, NO.

What’s my point. Let me see. This is my point.

Mark has saved my ass a number of times and there is no way to express gratitude, saving cash/check/credit card, from 2500 miles away. So for this I say: FUCK YOU! Your the best! And I am not GAY!

Fucker