Posts Tagged with "innuendo"

HTTPanties

August 9th, 2007 at 11:40 am by Mark
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     Every time your web browser sends a request to a webserver (an HTTPD), the browser returns a code, along with some content.
     Does everyone remember all of the HTTPD Codes?  I’m a dork, so I do…

Successful Client Requests
200 OK
201 Created
202 Accepted
203 Non-Authorative Information
204 No Content
205 Reset Content
206 Partial Content
Client Request Redirected
300 Multiple Choices
301 Moved Permanently
302 Moved Temporarily
303 See Other
304 Not Modified
305 Use Proxy
Client Request Errors
400 Bad Request
401 Authorization Required
402 Payment Required (not used yet)
403 Forbidden
404 Not Found
405 Method Not Allowed
406 Not Acceptable (encoding)
407 Proxy Authentication Required
408 Request Timed Out
409 Conflicting Request
410 Gone
411 Content Length Required
412 Precondition Failed
413 Request Entity Too Long
414 Request URI Too Long
415 Unsupported Media Type
Server Errors
500 Internal Error
501 Not Implemented
502 Bad Gateway
503 Service Unavailable
504 Gateway Timeout
505 HTTP Version Not Supported

     So Amanda from Fashionista TV was visiting today, and in browsing her site, I ran across her blog post about HTTPanties for sale from ThinkGeek

HTTPanties 

     Given the above list, I can find plenty of more clever variations.  These messages could be extremely helpful prior to coredumping your RAM…. Really, you never want to have an infected Hard Drive, do you?

     How about “412 Precondition Failed” and “503 Service Unavailable” for the frigid?

     Perhaps sex workers could put “402 Payment Required” to good use.

     “303 See Other” for swinging married women who get around.

     “407 Proxy Authentication Required” is a shoe-in for bisexuals, and “409 Conflicting Request” works great if they’re still a bit confused…

     Lesbian consumers also have a number of options, but the best has to be “415 Unsupported Media Type.”

     Of course, “502 Bad Gateway” across the ass is usually a given… But “300 Multiple Choices” would work well for hermaphrodites, porn stars, and the exceptionally kinky…

     And I can certainly think of a few women who should be wearing “500 Internal Error” … 😉

Tip: Amanda at FasionistaTV

Crap, I Thought I Was Cooler Than That

July 26th, 2007 at 9:01 am by Mark
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     Ok, Brahnamin took it, so I decided to give it a go, even though I know as much about Harry Potter as Perry Caravello knows about keeping his junk outta places it doesn’t belong… Hrm…
     But I certainly don’t remember being the dorky kid with glasses…


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     Although, strangely…  the description kinda fits…  And I am told I have amazing, natural talent with my magic wand…

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Asshat of the Day: Mullah Comic, errrr, Mullah Cimoc

June 11th, 2007 at 12:46 am by Mark
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Asshat of the Day     I got this comment, and thought, “Hey, why not make this asshat famous?  He’s almost as cool as Joseph Ferrante!”

mullah cimoc | shirin_hassan77@yahoo.com | IP: 67.166.109.28

mullah cimoc say paris hilton the good and the courage. him not run away, but go to jail. this calld the charcter.

she the beautifuyl and the natural and having so many baby in future to be good wife and mother.

but lesbian ameriki and lesbian ameriki mans hating her for natural the beauty and normal liking the boy.

ameriki so wicked and hate the woman unless she killing the baby and liking the lesbian.

in waziristan this not happen. father him not allow anyone hurting him daughter. taking the “special measure”. but ameriki so tame now. no respect for self.

in waziristan whole clan attacking this wicked judge and destroy, and also destry him entire family, to include even the second cousin. and burn with fire. and all grave of ancestor destroy and give bone for dog.

hypocrite liar ameriki say him “free” the womans but in true..ameriki woman the whore with LBT (low back tattoo) and hate husband. only free to having the abortion kill bnaby , to being slut and bad wife not cooking.
so soon all ameriki need make freedom and destroy controlling of usa by masters in tel aviv through spy in white house and pentagon.

for him true and good info: stop1984now@yahoo.com

     If you look around the ‘net, you’ll find all sorts of garbage like that from Mullah Comic … errr, Mullah Cimoc, rather.

     Dude, yer not funny.  Really.  Stop it.

     Besides, I still know several women with LBT’s who are pretty good cooks, although, I don’t know of any like that from where you are in Utah (which is a long way from Waziristan, Pakistan, last I checked).  Regardless, when they’re not cooking, at least their husbands have something to aim at…

June Blogfest: And a Good Time Was Had By All

June 10th, 2007 at 10:29 am by Mark
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     I arrived at Bailey’s just after 6PM to find Doug McCaughan (of Reality Me!) pulling in at the same time with his son Tommy.   We entered to find Michael Silence (No Silence Here) and Mushy (Mushy’s Moochings and others).
     Over the next few minutes, Tish (The Kat House), Rich Halley (Shots Across the Bow), Les Jones (lesjones.com) and Lissa Kay (Oh… Really?) showed up.

     A little later, the last of us headed to Oak Ridge to see The Atomic Horns at the Eagle’s Club — featuring none other than Barry (Inn of the Last Home) on keyboards.  There aren’t many “full bands” around the area these days, and these guys & gals were really fun — a mixture of soul, rock, disco and funk from the previous thirty years.  The ode to the Blues Brothers was hilarious.  😉

Mushy Smoochings?

     Here’s a photo of Tish from The Kat House and Mushy from Mushy’s Moochings, standing there side-by-side, as if they were a couple or something.

     Notably absent: Diva, who messaged me at 11:21PM to ask whether or not these people really existed.  LOL

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Asshat of the Day: Perry Caravello

June 5th, 2007 at 12:29 pm by Mark
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     There was a movie called Jackass, but Perry Caravello is King of All Jackasses.  Take a look at this bit from his Legal case against … well, everybody:

SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA
FOR THE COUNTY OF LOS ANGELES

PERRY CARAVELLO, Plaintiff
     v.
JIMMY KIMMEL, JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, DAKOTA NORTH ENTERTAINMENT, INC., DON BARRIS, ADAM COROLLA, KLSC, 97.1., VICE MAGAZINE, MTZ.COM, BLACKHOLE PRODUCTIONS, PARAMOUNT PICTURES UTUBES.COM, and DOES 1 Through 100, INCLUSIVE, Defendants

Case No. BC372039
Filed: May 31, 2007

COMPLAINT FOR DAMAGES

1. ACCOUNTING
2. DECLARATORY RELIEF
3. COMMON COUNT (UNJUST ENRICHMENT)
4. FRAUD
5. NEGLIGENCE

[ skip to the good bits ]

FOURTH CAUSE OF ACTION
(FRAUD)
(AGAINST ALL DEFENDANTS)

[ skip to the good bits ]

     14. On or about September 27, 2006, plaintiff appeared on the Adam Corolla radio show as part of the promotion of the release of the DVD sales of Windy City Heat. Plaintiff was promise by Defendant JOHNNY KNOXVILLE that Plaintiff would be paid 10 million dollars if he placed his penis in a mousetrap. Plaintiff agreed to do so, and, much to his emotional tranquility and to his physical harm, was severely injured when the trap went on his manhood. As a direct, proximate result thereof, Plaintiff had to seek out medical assistance for said injuries, pain and humiliation. The afforementioned incident has without Plaintiff’s permission and consent been widely disseminated and circulated on the Internet, to his prejudice, humiliation and emotional trauama. The named Defendants did nothing to prevent the incident from happening at the radio studio, and actually filmed the event without his permission or consent.

     Ummm… WHAT KIND OF DUMBASS ARE YOU, PERRY?

     Children… Playground… One kids says, “I’ll give you a million dollars to lick my spit off the rail!”
     The other kid licks his spit of the rail.  He smiles, and laughs.
     Everyone standing around says, “Ooooooooooh!  Gross!”
     He smiles and laughs.  He doesn’t expect someone to give him a million dollars.  He got the attention he craved.

     So what … You think the rules change when you are supposed to be old enough to know better?  Welcome to adulthood, Dumbass!

     I mean, Dude, your mashed your meat in a device meant to kill animals — what, did you think this didn’t include big lizardsTrouser snakesWaxed dolphins?  You honestly think someone would give you $10 Million for mangling your missileJamming your JohnsonPillaging your pud?  And how can you possibly fathon the thought that someone isn’t gonna make a video when you were the one STUPID enough to waste your willyTrash your torpedoAnnihilate your antlerSabotage your schlongToast your tool?

     That’s why you get the Asshat of the Day Award, Caravello: For going above and beyond the call of duty to prove that you could be a bigger Jackass than P. J. Clapp ever thought about!
     I’m glad you got a female judge — I’m certain that she’ll make the fallacy (pun intended) of your argument quite clear.  And maybe she’ll remember that P. J. Clapp is Johnny Knoxville’s real name…

     Seriously, the next time you have the urge to preserve your pecker, try not placing it in a mousetrap.