Ok, so they really actually reach over and smack my goodies, no. Too bad, huh? They actually cyber slapped with a meme. After they read my answers, they’ll think long and hard (heh I said long and hard)… =)

With the fact that I’m pretty boring in mind… everybody knows I love my kids and family and all the good stuff people tend to take for granted, so I shall give insight into who I am on a deeper level.

All Of The Eight Things You Didn’t Want To Know About Me

Eight Things I am Passionate About:
1. Widdling down Big T’s many collections.
2. Coffee (need I.V. drip STAT!)
3. SEX woooo hoooo! yah, I said SEX in all caps.
4. Taking the boy to see the monkeys the zoo at least once a month.
5. Bill Clinton being first lady gets me hot.
6. Karaoke. I AM DIVA, hear me roar
7. Blogging cuz ya’ll put up with my whining and verbal vomit.
8. Ignoring people who are drama freaks.

Eight Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Invent something cool that will get my name in the news (any ideas?)
2. Give forth one more mini-me that will in turn drive me crazy like the others do (uh, maybe. It might just be temporary insanity)
3. Route 66 with Big T, a camera, & a cooler of cold beer (Cold beer and the worlds biggest ball of yarn!!)
4. Quit being flaky and actually go to a blogfest (I suck)
5. Join the mile high club (I travel alot and I just want my wings)
6. Lose enough weight to wear sexy slutty tight around the ass jeans (just once)
7. See Van Halen and the Police in concert (I missed it back in the day)
8. Get Dancin with the Stars good at Latin Dancing (reow sexy sexy)

Eight Things I Say Often
– “For fuck sake”
– “Bite me”
– “And you want me to do what about it?”
– “I’m gonna love you forever and ever. Amen.”
– “Stop bitchin’. You’re goin’ to school!”
– “You suck!”
– “Good morning, ‘insert company name'”
– “What are you thinkin?”

Eight Books I’ve Recently read
1. It’s Happy Bunny. Life, Get One. (only 10 pages with big pictures)
2. Killing Yourself With a Fork & Knife (read half)
3. Elevate Your Life (one month devotional with short stories)
4. Tuesdays with Morrie (still working on it)
5. Herotica

I have ADHD and can’t sit still long enough to read a book very often. I stick to recipes, blogs, and magazine articles.

Eight Movies I’ve Recently Seen
– 1408 (kinda creepy)
– Mr. Brooks (extremely psycho)
– Premonition (easily confused me)
– Oceans 13 (I needed a nap anyway)
– Come Early Morning (Jeffrey Donovan makes me wet)
– Elizabethtown (actaully a good movie after I got over Orlando being in it)
– A History of Violence (Ed Harris made me sad cuz he was evil)
– I Now Pronouce You Chuck & Larry (Hahahaha. I highly recommend)

Eight Songs That I Could Listen To Over And Over
* You’re In My Heart – Rod Stewart
* Your Man – Josh Turner
* Candy – Will Smith
* Forever – Will Smith
* Rocky Top – Pride of the Southland Marching Band
* Rapper’s Delight – Sugar Hill Gang
* Gold Digger – Kanye West
* The Most Beautiful Girl – Prince

Eight Things That Attract Me To My Best Friends
(I’m keepin it real and keepin Sugar’s answers to this one. Kudos.)
Honesty
Laughter
Energy
Intelligence
Pride
Morals
None judgmental
Ethics

Eight Things I Have Learned This Past Year
– You can’t merge two families and not expect kaos.
– Don’t get pissed, make fun of it.
– I found out who my friends are.
– I went around the mountain ten times but got the wedding planned and executed. I will never plan another wedding, ever.
– My baby girls can accept change and go with the flow.
– No matter how nice I am to my EX, that’s he’s always gonna be a dick.
– Life is lived one day at a time.
– I need to relax more

Eight People That Should Do This Meme and Not Complain:
– Chuckie @ What’s Up Chuck?
– Lenae @ Flat Coke & Flies
– Ms. P @ Fresh Taste of Banana Puddin
– Robert @ Observations from the Back 40
– m@ @ Animal Mind
– Mark @ Blogitude.com
– Lee @ Vicinity of Obscenity

     Here’s a fun little link-sharing Meme, courtesy of Fracas, that could devolve rather quickly into something a little less than wholesome:

Remember when we were kids and at every opportunity, some adult would have us play that silly Telephone game? You know… the one where the lead person comes up with a sentence or statement, whispers it into the ear of the next person in line, and the sentence is passed from person to person until it reaches the end of the line. The last person then repeats the sentence out loud, the first person announces what it actually was, and everyone gets to laugh about how goofy it got by being passed from ear to ear and being altered because of mispronunciations and hearing ability.

Of course I realize that the game was simply a means for adults to keep us in line while we were waiting for something or killing time. Haven’t we even now as adults, tried to use it on our own kids?

Being the silly kind of fracas that I am, I’ve decided to create an internet version of the game, and use it as an opportunity for link-getting. Everyone wants links, and yet lots of people I know, prefer to get their links in a non-obvious kind of way. We’ve all done the “copy this list and create a post and you’ll get links” type of tag… at least once, but most of us don’t want to fill our blogs with those posts. It may get links, but eventually will chase readers away.

This is a fun way to give your readers something entertaining to read and get a few links too.

Instructions:

If you’ve been tagged, check the last entry on the list.  Copy this entire post, add your name and link to the end of the list, copy the sentence in the previous person’s entry and change ONE word in it to try and change the meaning of the sentence for your entry. Name and link only ONE person to tag and then post the whole thing as a new entry in your own blog.  Please make sure to transfer all the links to your post otherwise you aren’t providing fair linkage to the people before you.  Although this will take longer to get around, by tagging only one person you will avoid making mass enemies by having to tag many people, and it will also guarantee only one true version of the game is circulating out there. Fracas, the creator, will attempt to keep tabs on the game and periodically report on it.

Please try not to tag someone you see is already on the list. If you’re on the list, have been tagged again by someone who didn’t pay attention to the instructions and you don’t want to do another turn, please leave a comment at this post over at Fracas, and Fracas will take your turn for you in order to keep the list going.

1. Fracas – http://fracas.wordpress.com writes: 
     Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.

2. Mark @ Blogitude – https://blogitude.com/ writes:
     Never continue dating anyone who is nude to the waiter.

Mark Tags …. Wiggy @ Matters of Little Consequence

     For more info on the subject of this asinine tirade:

A buzz of activity yesterday helped Martin Provencher keep his mind not on what might have happened, but on finding his 9-year-old daughter, Cdrika, who disappeared without a trace eight days ago.

…

Cdrika Provencher is 5 feet tall and weighs 70 pounds. She is white and has curly red hair and brown eyes. Anyone with information about her disappearance should call the SQ at 1-800-659-4264

     Sorry, but I think my solution there is a little more helpful than posting some Asshat’s blog URL…

     Now to focus on the Asshat…

     All day long, Steven has been posting this message to our blog, and everyone else’s blog who was listed on the Google Page Rank 50 Dollar Contest:

I have disregarded any posting on any movies today.Please if anyone has any information on this beautiful redhead little girl call your local police dept.

PLEASE READ THE POST

(Asshat’s URL deleted since he was so polite)

     Four of my friends have send me a message today about the “weird spam” and each time, I’ve told them, “Nah, he seems to be doing it to all of his regular reads…”
     But when the same comment came in the second time, and again went into moderation, I responded to him via e-mail:

To: steven
Date: August 8, 2007 2:47PM 

Steven, I know it’s a PSA, but it’s kinda … well … spamming.  We’ve all heard it all over the news.

Take care,
Mark

    I wasn’t being flippant, but he needs to know that his actions might be ticking people off, eh?

     What I got back instead of an apology, or a plea to go ahead and remove the comment from moderation, was an e-mail from an abusive little asshat with absolutely no manners whatsoever:

From: steven
Date: August 8th, 2007 2:47PM EDT

your an asshole

     I mentioned it to a friend, saying, “Okay… He’s wound a little tight today,” but didn’t bother to respond.
     A few minutes later, got another one…

From: steven
Date: August 8th, 2007 2:53PM

She lives in my province, I thought I would get help from the blogging community.It’s not a psa or spam you ass,it’s called trying to help each other out!!!.obviously you don’t have any children or else you would understand!!!!

GET LOST!!!!

     Thanks for that, Steven.

     Seriously, I couldn’t continue my day without being abused by a random Asshat from Quebec.  Apparently, the problem isn’t only that you’re a repeat-offending spammer, but also that you’re totally lacking in the social graces which tend to be bestowed to most of us who deal with other human beings on a regular basis.

     To summarize:

• You can’t spell “you’re”
• I am an asshole, and an ass (think I needed that newsflash, Mr. Brightspark?)
• Your message was not a Public Service Announcement (PSA)
• Sending the exact same message to every blog attached to a $50 contest is apparently helping us out
• Sending your base URL instead of to an individual post is apparently helping us out, as well
• I don’t have any children
• I should get lost
• Your keyboard apparently has faulty space, shift, one, comma and period keys

     You’re right, Steven… I don’t have any kids because I have a genetic predisposition which results in severe birth defects.  Thanks for reminding me, Asshat.  All those years of therapy undone because you happened to Spam every blogger I know…

     You seem to be suffering from a PEBKAC error.

     Maybe, even, a little I-D-Ten-T.

     Now, Asshat, stop screwing with us and go do something useful … like maybe playing Russian Roulette, or seceding from the Canadian Union or something…

Tagged by fracas…

So…

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:

1. It’s A Blog Eat Blog World
2. More Random Than Average
3. Bluepaintred
4. Fracas
5. Diva (blogitude.com)

NEXT select five people to tag:

(Since I really don’t know anyone at all and nobody really knows me, I guess it doesn’t really matter who I piss off now does it? Let’s play tag, shall we?  *wink*)

1. RealityMe
2. Mark – my pal.  I owe him big.
3. Journey from Grr to There
4. My other blog is a Porche
5. Sugar Queen’s Dream

THEN answer the following Questions:

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Everything I could possibly do to survive a gnarley divorce from a man who had no clue, with 2 young children to support.   

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Graduating from college (yay me!).
Met the man of my dreams (just didn’t realize right then)
Singing karaoke every Wednesday and Friday night at CatScratch Janes.

Five snacks you enjoy:
(yah, I’m a picture of health over here)
Jalapeno Poppers
Onion Rings
Apples
Hawaiian Sweet Onion Kettle Chips by Snyder (GRUB!)
Hot Pepper Beef Jerky

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
I Try – Macy Gray
Dreams – Fleetwood Mac
At Last – Etta James
That’s How I Got To Memphis – Darryl Dodd
Say It Right – Nelly Furtado

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
Find a nice big ass house on the lake with plenty of land
New cars for the whole bunch of hoodlums that I claim as family
College fund for Amanda, Tyler and Natalie (I keep hoping she’ll go back)
Clothes, clothes and shoes to match the clothes
Lipo and boob job

Five bad habits:
Cuss like a sailor
Drink like a fish
Smoke like a freight train
Lay out of the gym to go to the bar
Not being clear enough sometimes

Five things you like doing:
Sleeping in the same bed with my man
Drinking cold beer and laughing at stupid stuff with friends
Singing karaoke (go me!)
Making out
Learning guitar

Five things you would never wear again:
Jelly shoes (those icky plastic things.. eww)
Parchute pants
Goofy short shorts we used to wear to the roller-rink
Leg warmers
Head bands

Five favorite toys:
Karaoke machine
Hot pink guitar that I’m finally learning to play
Shot glass collection
Scrapbook junk
Computer

GirlieGeek tagged me a while back to do this shameless meme, but I’ve been in the dark ages for a while and I’m just now getting to it.

I’m supposed to give 8 totally random facts about who Diva is.

So, here we go:

1.  Diva is a very young grandmother at the ripe old age of 36.  Tyler is a two year old -mohawk sportin – curtain crawler and is truly the love of my life! 

2.  Diva digs travel.  I found a super swell job back in 2000 and stayed here.  It affords me the luxury of travelling both the U.S. and Europe.  I’ve been everywhere I’ve ever thought I might want to go and then some.

Diva just found out today she’s going on a European hoooo-haaaaa in October with stops in Germany, Budapest, Italy and France.  I friggin love my job!

3. Diva does karaoke.   I’m a junkie.  I go to Vegas, I karaoke.  I go to NYC, I karaoke.  Everywhere I go, the camera goes with.  Why, to add to my karaoke scrapbook that was started in 1998.

4.  Diva worked her way through school as an adult.  I was a complete idiot in my younger years and didn’t figure I needed an ed-u-ma-cation cuz I was a-gettin married and he’d take care of me.  Sha, right.  In 2000, I went back to school and graduated in 2006.  Go me!

5.  Diva is on the road to freedom.  By the time I reach the big 4-0:  both of my kids will have graduated high school, I will have my MBA, I will lose a bunch more weight (fingers crossed here), and I will be footloose and fancy free.

6.  Diva loves a super cool cat named Tony.  I’m about to get hitched in September. Pretty cool, huh?

7.  Diva and her bridal party are going to trash our dresses immediately after the wedding/reception.  We haven’t quite figured out said method, but I’m sure it will include rescue scuba divers and a two story dock on Norris.   Zacque, grab your camera.  Mark, grab the scuba gear.

8.  I am an offical member of the Knoxville Zoo.  My Tyler is a lover of the camels, therefore, we venture to the zoological gardens often.  I figured out that it was going to be cheaper in the long-run to have a grandparent annual pass, so I could take the boy to see the animals anytime we want to go.

Diva chooses to tag the following kiddies:

Fracas (because she tagged me, paybacks are a bitch)

Mushy (because he drinks to everything)

And anyone else who’s bored and would like to do it.