Joseph Ferrante, the self-appointed Greatest Musician on Earth, is a nutjob.

This two NAZIS called Brandon Martus Anton Olsen and this Mr. Fab have been creating problems for our Trascendental guitar virtuoso during the last three years. They are just jealous human nothings trying to create problems for the best musician on Earth. Well, their sort is just like that: abusive NAZIS that create problems for outstanding people. It is just amazing that after reading the gigantic praise in the letters of Rick Wakeman and Bill Bruford about our virtuoso, as well as on the praise letters of BBC, London Capital Radio and Sony Music Publishers, we had to come accross these two VULTURES who even helped program the computer of Google so as to hide the articles of our virtuoso. These two NAZI VULTURES and Google have been doing the impossible to hide the best musician on Earth, whom we support. Well, the stature of the man is determined by the amount of conspiracy they generate

     Given so many “conspiracies,” he must be at least eighteen feet tall.

     And, uh, if I’m not mistaken, that’s three people he listed, but he still refers to them as “This two NAZIS” instead of “These three NAZIS.”  But, math is hard, right?

     If you wonder why I’m waiting until today to post this, take a look at Anton’s post on LR2.com.  An old post, with spam up to a few months ago.
     Now take a look at Mr. Fab’s post on Blogspot.

     Today, he takes his place with the numerous other psychos I’ve written about.

     Apparently, he was such a pathetic multiple-personality self-promotor, it never occurred to him to register “josephferrante.com”

     The book, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, looks to be a great read!  It’s an elaborate parody of Intelligent Design:

CAN I GET A “RAMEN” FROM THE CONGREGATION?!

Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
     .
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Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts– dispelling such malicious myths as evolution (“only a theory”), science (“only a lot of theories”), and whether we’re really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!)

     The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s website has, of course, been targeted by many people who are unable to take a joke.
     Fortunately, they’ve opened up their hate-mail archive to the public.  It’s also fortunate that we have idiots like Casey Powell to give us something to laugh about.

     [ of course, I have to thank Swanky for pointing me towards all of this — good stuff! ]

      Some people have little else to do but send ludicrous hate mail, due in no small part but that so many people have little room for humor in their day-to-day lives.  It’s sad.
     Me, I get some local psychotic nutjob sending me scathing e-mails and blog comments claiming that I’m the father of her five-year-old child (an impossibility, given the fact that I lived in another country at the time).
     Others get morons like Casey Powell, who profess Christianity while sending vulgar and abusive e-mails, threaten lawsuits because the owner posted them publicly, and finally come out and deny that it was him at all — no, in fact, it was his evil twin.
     I should introduce Casey to Laney.  
     Laney would dig Casey’s methods with a dumbfounded, “Suing that guy for posting your own comments and claiming it was someone else who made them?  Why didn’t I think of that?”
     And sure Casey would dig her whole birth-without-sex story, which would surely remind him of the Gospel of Matthew.

     Their union and subsequent child just might be enough to signal the Coming of the Great While Colander.

     Some people can find humour in a blog.  Some people cannot.

     Back in 1997 when I wrote about psycho ex-girlfriends, I think I summed it up nicely.  Is she psycho, or “just someone who you feel is, indeed, full of more @#$! than last night’s dinner casserole?”  There were no invisibile mind-control rays in the post.  There were no “read between the lines” misogynistic overtones, either.
     But it is certainly the only post here that I can think would trigger this kind of response (with the expetives deleted).  The weirder part is, it came from someone here in Knoxville!

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     There will always be a few certainties about life and the way any given set of people will react in matters of circumstance.

     The works of many students of Human Behaviour and Modern Psychology, however, can only begin to touch the very surface of what is the human mind. Theories about behaviour, as educated as they may be, as much as they may seem to encompass the widest array of human behaviour, simply don’t.
     Recently, I stood looking at one such student, drunk off his ever-living ass, lying on the concrete, helpless. Being the Samaritan that I tend to be, I addressed him, and offered him a ride home. Rather than answer, he spat upon my shoe and screamed, “Don’t call me Sean!” Many of you can only imagine the urge I felt to kick him senseless…
     So screw you, too, Sean. You’re immortalised here. *evil grin*

     Past that…

     What most of the Jungs and Freuds of the world tried to do was give Humanity a goal — the unreachable state of being “Normal.” But Humanity, being ennobled with the wondrous gift of “free will” which makes us each Individual despite generalisations, breaks down all Sociological Theory at the very level it was intended to represent.

     Many students of this “craft” would disagree. If that’s your opinion, stop reading this now.

     And if you’re still reading, then you either agree, or I’ve ired you so that you feel you must read on. And this, of course, is one of those great Facts about humanity. It’s the same thing that makes the reactionary listen to Howard Stern Radio Show.

     Being flawed never stopped the theories of the book-smart, university-educated Doctors and Therapists from becoming the fad of the latter half of the twentieth century.
     Past the nineteen sixties, as people began to be more open about their Feelings, Drug Use, and Sexuality, psychology and sociology began to boom. Everyone had a problem, you see, as the definition of “normal,” at that time, had been written in the late nineteenth century.
     But at the end of nineteen seventies, the studies had begun an overhaul of sorts. The students of the sixties had gone through the change of society along with everyone else. As they gained their Doctorate degrees and tenureships, they began the follied attempt to redefine the phrase, “Normal Behaviour,” each one with a shadow of themselves within.

     Needless to say, new definitions begat an increasingly chaotic sort of work. All of the Simple Human Truths began to be questioned. And as the rates of violence and atrocity increased throughout the world, proportionate to the ever-growing population, Criminology, a subset of Sociology, began to take hold.

     All of sudden, Sociologists and Criminologist began to dominate the public mindset. From television talk shows to local Community meetings, they were around, giving their two cents about the same society they had spurned in order to take up their study. They were experts, you see, and no one dared to refute them.
     Even bigger than the problem of their withdrawal from society, however, was the simple fact that none of them had anything more than “theory” to work from. And with the help of Mass Media giving marketable credibility to their every unproven whim, the two fields became extremely chaotic.
     Soon enough, it became impossible, even for students in the fields, to decide what was Fact and what was Theory. Being educated, and unwilling to admit that perhaps Humanity was flawed, they began to accept each Theory as fact. Even current Sociological and Psychological textbooks attest to this very principle.

     Much as the Priests and Preachers of religion explained inexplicable scientific principles as the work of a supreme deity, so the Psychologists and Sociologists of the world continued to write their theories and improvable postulates. They all push forward in a vain attempt to explain the flaws in human nature, but few, if any, have the cajones to actually say “Hey, humanity is self destructive, and we’re just as nutty as the average Joe.”

     Perhaps it will come as no surprise that in 2573 A.D., a new church will be formed, having the icons of Saint Sigmund and Saint Carl upon its Platinum-encrusted doors.
     And no one should dare utter the Holy Name of the One True God in vain…

     “Forgive me, Doctor Shover, for I have sinned…”

     Somehow, I don’t believe you.

     I don’t mean to sound rude or anything, I just wanna make you think about something before you call this woman you were obviously in something with a “psychobitch.”

     Let’s be honest. The whole term “psychobitch” is completely cliché, isn’t it? What does it mean?

     Is this a woman who…

     …has made you very afraid for your life? Did she attempt to stab, shoot, bludgeon or otherwise assault you simply because of the colour of her kitchen wallpaper? Has she created a public scene in front of no less than fifty witnesses, claiming that she hates you, and that if she can’t have you, then nobody else can? Is she pissed off simply because you have a car, and has she screamed about this to everyone she knows? Has she assaulted you in public, screaming at the top of her lungs, in front of no less than twenty people, “You’ve had an attitude with me ever since!” and you have no idea what she’s on about? And continues to scream about your sexual escapades with her, and you’ve honestly never even slept with her?
     Did you once date, well over five years ago, haven’t seen her for at least two years, and somehow she’s miraculously three months pregnant with a child she swears is yours? Has she bashed in the window of your car as it sits in your parking lot, seen by at least ten witnesses, but subsequently claimed that she couldn’t have done it as she was with her psychiatrist? Has she ever sat with you calmly at dinner in a four-star restaurant, stood up, started throwing tabletop items at everyone in the place, screaming at everyone for no apparent reason, sat back down, a calm look about her, and asked you what happened to her silverware?
     Have you ever walked in on her when she has some sod tied spread eagle on a bed, immobilized, she’s on top of him going at it like mad, and, when she notices you’re standing there, proceeds to beat him, all the while screaming bloody murder for you to help her, that she’s being raped? Has she ever run over you with her car, later giving the explanation that she did it simply because she had never done anything like that before? Has she boiled your aquarium? Has she stalked you, years after the fact, leaving little clues in the form of written notes — “I’m watching you, Love, Laura”?

     It’s perfectly normal, often understandable, to feel angry after a break-up. For some, it’s even normal to exaggerate a bit about simple things, blow them out of proportion. But people are ever-more likely these days to use the term “psychobitch” about their ex-whatever just because they feel like it. Never mind that they haven’t actually done anything to them…

     Keep that in mind the next time you think about saying it. And next break-up, try this… have your break-up, maybe fight, maybe not and get over it. Get on with your life.
     Sometimes it’s hard to do that, and one of you might have a little problem letting go… But you really need to start asking yourself the big question before you start going off about them to everyone.

     Is she nuts…?

     …or is this “psychobitch,” as you call her, just someone who you feel is, indeed, full of more shit than last night’s dinner casserole?