Doncha hate it when people call, you ignore it or don’t answer because you’re in the middle of something, and they keep calling over and over and over, not leaving a voicemail, or actually giving you any more than two seconds peace between rings?

     After about the third time, you’re thinking, “Oh, shit, this must be important!”  So you answer the call…
     “Hey? Whatcha doing?”

     My favorite answer?  “Well, dumbass, I was busy ignoring your incessant, non-emergency phone calls, but you interrupted that…”

     Of course, I’ve used a few others. 

     “Ok, do you hear the water?  I am in the f#$*ing shower, ya know…”
     “WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL TO TAKE A DUMP IN PEACE?”
     “What?  So it’s not important?  Well, sorry I was busy whacking it, and I was almost there…. thanks!”

     Of course, three years ago, it was always because, well, “we” were “busy” just about every waking hour.   Callers like that rarely expected to hear two voices answering the same phone… And ya know what…
     I do miss that, if nothing else…

Having been a systems administrator at several Internet Dating sites, I’ve often pondered the question: if they have Multiple Personality Disorder, does it count as Group Sex?

     Sometimes, a picture says it all.

Tip: Paul at Daily Shite.

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     There are so many things wrong with this Craigslist ad:

     Stock … muffler … I guess we know where the scrapes came from … And apparently, Sex Ed is failing in Blount County. 

     Seriously, dude, ya know, if it’s not that hard and loud any more, they do make pills for that…

* Tip to Ripshod for the link

     Note that today’s post is one of the few on the Internet which is not about Steve Jobs’ latest creation, the iPad.  Also note that we will not be making any lame jokes about the iPad Mini, the iPad Maxi or the iPad With Wings.  Also, also note that we will not be making any jokes about the Apple Marketing Department caressing their inner womanhood, ever so slightly at first in a circular motion, then harder while reversing the direction, becoming slightly faster as the heavy breathing begins, harder and faster in the opposite direction, gripping the sheets with the other hand while … wait …
     Sorry, I went off on a tangent.

     The truth is, we here at blogitude.com feel that testosterone-laden innuendo should never be mixed with feminine hygiene products, or the body parts that the aforementioned products are used on.  Especially not when it’s Steve Jobs… 
     Ack, another tangent… only that one did manage to make me throw up in my mouth a bit….

     Now, seriously, back on subject.  Testosterone and feminine products just don’t mix.  The results can be… well… something like this video…

     Now, I certainly hope you’ve all learned your lesson.