While I’ve been spending practically the entire weekend trying to finish up a bunch of a music that’s been sitting around as unifinished projects for a few years, my music taste through the week has gotten a little … well, “Weird,” is what everyone tells me.

     Some of it came from playing a Fallout 3 on the Xbox 360, which features a rather kickass soundtrack from the 1940’s…

     Ya know, it’s pretty safe to say I would’ve bought the game for the soundtrack alone… but listening to it while scouring post-Apocalyptic Washington, DC makes it more than a little haunting.

     It’s even nicer when you get to do it for free, because someone hated the game and mailed it to ya…

     I need an Xbox 360 Pro.  Or Elite.  I don’t give a damn.  Either one.  But not a shitty Arcade.

     I need one because I have a marketing idea.

     Only thing is, I can’t afford one. 

     So here’s what I propose…

     I’m thinking about selling a Solid 24K Barack Obama Coin on the Internet. 

     With the following disclaimer:

     “* Contents subject to Change during shipping.  Recipient experience may differ greatly.”

      So who wants to buy one for the low, low price of $299.99?

     I’m not trying to be arrogant, but jeez Louise… I can’t stand GameStop!  As a matter of fact, I’ve found that I have a deep-seated resentment for the entire establishment.

     This afternoon’s visit even more strongly reinforced that resentment.

     I went into several different locations — in several different states — before Christmas looking for a particular gift which was “soon to be released” instead of “in stock now!” as their advertisements said, and that kinda ticked me off, anyway.
     But that’s not what this rant is about.  In fact, it’s far more pointed — and perhaps more personal — than that.

     Now, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that all GameStop employees are idiots, because that’s not true.  There are Accountants, Franchise Owners and Managers (more on them later) who might be associated with any given location and who may be, by all accounts, “normal.”  I can’t say the same of the Ad people, because Ad people are pretty much abnormal anywhere they’re employed — and they’re not the reason I dislike GameStop.  Even with the “in stock now!” garbage…

     No, the thing I hate about GameStop?

     It’s the regular employees, of which there are at least eight at any given location.

     At first, you think they’re just black-shirted customers, running around the store acting like idiots, hiding behind the displays yelling, “Bee-owp!  Bee-owp!” as they pretend to shoot at each other with invisible implements of destruction.
     “Can I help you find anything?” they’ll eventually ask.
     “No,” you reply.  “This is a pretty small store.”

     Immediately, six of them begin dodging their invisible lasers, screaming, “Bee-owp!  Bee-owp!” again.

     At some point, the seventh employee will run out from the back, ripping the latest firearm-style controller (for the latest mega-cool platform!) from out of its protective box, screaming, “Bee-owp!  Bee-owp!” at his invisibly armed compatriots.

     Upon closer inspection, you’ll notice their tell-tale GameStop employee ID’s, which, instead of being pinned to their shirt, hang from around their necks like they’re roadies guarding the back-stage of a Metallica concert.  Only, they listen to Europop Techno…
     In fact, the only thing they have in common with the “cool” guys they’re trying to emulate is the fact that they’re like … forty.
     The “younger,” eighth employee (a mere thirty-years-old) feverishly slaves away behind the cash register, his penance for being “so much younger” and “less cool” than his elder brethren.

     The Manager is always in the back, pulling his hair out.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the balls to control his motley crew — yeah, not the band — of prepubescent middle-agers and attempt to set things right.  Instead, he comes to help customers at the cash register because he just can’t have his employees arguing with customers about those damn ads…
     He leaves the store at 10PM, gets home at 10:15PM, and is drunk by 10:30PM.  His wife screams at him incessantly, and he just can’t handle it any more.
     You just know that at any moment, some proverbial needle will hit the floor, breaking the silence like cannon fire, and our mild-mannered Manager will suddenly become Michael Douglas in “Falling Down.”  (Perks of the job — he scarfed that movie from out of the Used DVD bin last Thursday, and watched it while getting wasted on Peach Schnapps and Mountain Dew.)

     Maybe there are normal GameStop stores in the world.  Maybe all of their counter staff aren’t overgrown, pimply-faced, forty-year-old virgins who are sadly content to live in their grandmother’s basements pretending to be part of Vader’s 501st Stormtrooper Legion, Klingon Commander Haktarr, or Yoric the Hill Giant Slayer.

     I just haven’t met them yet, because I am way too cool for GameStop…

     And don’t even get me started on Starbucks…

    Last October, I wrote about the upcoming game, Crysis, which looked really cool with its fully destructible environments.  Crysis has apparently been picked up by Electronic Arts, but there’s still no release date set.  I hate vaporware.
     But, that’s okay… Crysis is probably a little too game-like for me anyway…

     A few years ago, I got hooked on Operation: Flashpoint.  What it lacked visually, it more than made up for with its gameplay and impressive artificial intelligence.  Check out the trailer…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujS4wJ0RUcY

     It was more of a “combat simulator” than a game, which caused a lot of people a lot of frustration.  One bad move, and a whole battallion of soldiers would come shooting.  And you didn’t die instantly — you’d get a crippled leg, or a weak arm that couldn’t hold a rifle sight steady.  Unsteady and slow to react, eventually you’d take a headshot and die.

     Bohemeia Interactive really did a great job on it.  But … what else would you expect, considering they’re the ones who brought Virtual Battlefield Systems 1 and VBS1 to the U.S. Military?
     They have a ton of press about the release of VBS2, as well…

     Last month, BI released Armed Assault in Europe, but didn’t have a U.S. distributor yet.  Fortunately, Atari picked it up, but the name is a little different.  ArmA: Combat Operations is due for release on May 1st (and available for pre-order at Amazon!)
     ArmA is based much of the the technology found in VBS2.  The demo, which features Capture the Flag, Cooperative and Capture the Island multiplayer scenarios, is pretty fun if you get in with some good players.  Cooperative is the best way to experience it, in my opinion, as it relies on teamwork and tactics to clear a town of enemy soldiers.
     Even though this thing is unofficially “Operation: Flashpoint 2” (they weren’t allowed to use the name, thanks to their last distributor), there’s been a ton of work on the graphics engine.  It’s pretty stunning, actually.  Check out the video Dslyecxi made to get an idea…

     I can remember, back in 1970-something, seeing the first video game console — the Magnavox Odyssey — coming to a twelve or twenty-five inch black and white television near you.
     The fugly, black-white-and-woodgrain behemoth came complete with the most clunky controllers you’ve ever attempted to use.  And talk about GRAPHICS — the included set of plastic overlays attached to the television screen (thus the twelve or twenty-five inch requirement) so you could get COLOR!  But God forbid that your mother used one of those overlays as a place mat during one of your younger sibling’s episodes of projectile-spitting carrot puree — Why, then you’d never be able to find the secret treasure in the Haunted House!
     That’s right — and we had to walk ten miles to school, in four feet of snow!  Uphill — BOTH WAYS!

     It’s truly magnificent to see how much progress has been made over the last thirty-five years.  Now, we’re seeing video games with completely destructible environments.  If you’re not sure what that means, check out this Video of Crytek’s upcoming game, Crysis:

     Although several other manufacturers have now released PC games with similar features, such as Relic’s Company of Heroes or HD Publishing’s Joint Task Force, Crysis looks like plenty of fun.

     Having a reasonably well-spec’d PC, I tend to stay away from video game consoles and the like, but the Xbox 360 has really pushed the technology envelope — especially if you have a Windows Media Center Edition PC in your home (or even a Windows Vista with Media capability).  In that case, the Xbox 360 not only serves as one of the most advanced video game consoles you can buy, but also acts as a DVD/CD/MP3 Player, DVR and a Media Player for all the music and photos you’ve downloaded onto your PC — maybe even wirelessly if you’re set up for that.  It’s less a video game console, and a more a Digital Convergence appliance, giving you a pretty full range of functionality to complement your home theater.
     The downside is that it’s damned expensive.  Even the old Magnavox Odyssey only retailed for $100, while the Xbox can run you four times that easily.   (Ok, truthfully, that $100 in 1972 was as hard to come by as $2500 these days, but still…)
     Of course, you still have Sony out there trying to beat out the Xbox 360 with their Playstation 3, but seeing as how they’ve had an additional year to release the unit, it won’t be much wonder if they did manage to cram some extra functionality it.  I suppose when it’s released in the second half of November 2006, we’ll know whether or not all the hype was for real.

     And, then, of course, Nintendo is still at it, skipping all the cutting-edge technology and just making a Video Game console that is simply that.  The Nintendo Wii (pronounced “we”) has focused on keeping games “fun” and “playable,” something that seems to be a bit lacking with their more expensive counterparts who’ve focused on cutting edge confusion and overly complex gameplay.
     And their television advertising surely drives that nail home with a sledgehammer:

     Of course, given the choice between Rosie O’Donnel and Paris Hilton, I’d still choose neither… 😉