When I first saw the book, Wii for Dummies, back in 2008, I thought, “Wow. Steve Jobs has finally succeeded in making the world a technologically illiterate place.” However, this book, Wii Fitness for Dummies, is less than two months old.

Even though the book requires the common sense of a Politician to be at all practical, there are apparently people in the world who are unable to grasp such taxing concepts as putting their foot on a big white button.

For those people, I would suggest that they also purchase future “Dummies” titles, including, Using a Power Button for Dummies, Putting Two Feet in Front of the Other for Dummies and Pouring Liquids Into Smaller Containers for Dummies. And, of course, if you enjoy those, perhaps you’ll also enjoy my forthcoming title, Zen in the Art of Wiping Your Own Ass: A Life Primer for Those Who Think Stepping on a Big White Button is Your Key to Personal Fitness..

Oh, no, not that kind of game. I meant your Xbox 360 game. Yes, a new service called GameCrush allows socially inept video game junkies to play Halo and Modern Warfare 2 with “hot chicks” for around $1 per minute.

It is worth noting, however, that the best way to actually meet “hot chicks” is to turn off the Xbox, put down the Hot Pockets™, leave the basement, get some fresh air . . . perhaps a tan . . . *cough*

Most of us have seen this type of Video Game before, especially the nostalgic incarnation where you shoot a monkey out of a cannon and attempt to get the best distance while arching through the air and bouncing back from the ground. However, this version, available now for a mere 240 points on Xbox Live Marketplace, uses your very own Xbox Live avatar, features stunning graphic imagery of an African svelte and includes the very real chance that your avatar may end up shoulders deep in an elephant’s ass!

     So this past weekend, I had a completely ridiculous random thought.  It actually wasn’t about any particular readers of this blog mind you, but came about because of Pete Venkman’s comeback, “No, it sounds like you have enough people in there already,” in Ghostbusters.
     Yeah, I watched Ghostbusters.  Yes, again.  Yes, of course I thought the video game was hilarious.  That’s partially why I decided to watch the movie again.  Seriously?  Whatever… Anyway… *snicker*

     So basically, umm…

     If they had Multiple Personality Disorder, would it count as group sex?  I wonder how crazy would the dirty talk get if they were “all” into it?

     There is, of course, a reason those questions are labeled as rhetoric. 😉

     So I’m sitting down to play another friggin’ boring game of Call of Duty: World at War on the Xbox 360.  I hate that game.  I truly do.  I play it because a few friends drag me in, and tonight, I decided try and improve my gamer score a little. 
     But no bones about it, I hate the game.  It’s laggy-slow.  It commandeers bandwidth worse than the porn-hungry neighbor who “stealz ur internets.”  The glitches and screen artifacts pretty much screw up any chance of having a decent experience playing the game in multiplayer mode.  The bug reporting mechanism to the manufacturer, Treyarch, pretty well leaves you open to be bashed and belittled by the game’s developers for even having the balls to open your mouth about their precious turd.
     And if friends would stop playing it, so would I.  Which is why I’m looking forward to Infinity Ward’s release next month:  Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, because Treyarch, and their patheticly overdone World War II scenarios, can suck my left nut, right nut and anus.  Or, better yet, Brandon’s anus…

     So anyway … About an hour ago, I was abruptly disconnected from Xbox LIVE for an update.  It took a several minutes. 
     “Okay, WTF?”
     My Xbox restarted, downloaded a few more updates.  Restarted again.

     By 10PM EST, I was back online, with a new tab in my dashboard.

     “Xbox Preview.”

     Ahh, looking around… Facebook? Check.  Twitter?  Check.  Zune Video Marketplace?  Check.  Xbox LIVE News?  Check.  MSNBC?  Check.  Dillbert?  Check.  The New Yorker Cartoons?  Check.  last.fm?  Well… if you can call it that.

     Yep … all working … trippy … so I send out a couple of test messages on Twitter, update my Facebook status, browse friends and leave a couple comments…
     Then I start screwing around with the absolute worst interface ever:  The last.fm app seriously sucks.  I can’t even explain “why” it sucks, except to say, you’ll have to experience the suckiness yourself to understand.  Basically, if you’re looking for something easy to use, sensible, start a channel and add music to it, you’re pretty well going to be in “WTF?” land for a while.

     That aside … It’s still a bunch of neat new toys.  If you’d like to sign up for the “next generation” Xbox 360 Dashboard, go and register.  And get one of these, because you’re gonna need it…

     Why, now, I can see when this Brandon twit decides to Tweet that he’s going to take a crap … without having to log into my PC … *rolls eyes*