Posts Tagged with "attention-whores"

“Look, It’s Not What You Think”

June 26th, 2014 at 5:53 pm by Chered
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Some bitches be trippin’ if they’re not the center of attention…

Saw You Petting the Neighbor's Dog. Want to Tell Me What That's All About?

Skank of the Week: Paris Hilton

June 8th, 2007 at 4:42 pm by Diva
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Okay, when I started blogging, I swore to myself and everything that is held Holy, not to say one word about Paris Hilton. I always felt that she was just not worthy of my attention, as she is a complete and utter attention whore to begin with… why humor her.

But, the courtroom activities of the day have made me realize the err of my ways. She is worthy of being a SKANK OF THE DAY.

Seriously. Let’s say Diva was to go out, do a line or ten, go racing off into the sunset in her pretty little chick-mobile doing 100+ miles an hour. Let’s say the PO-PO blue lighted Diva, found her to be under the influence, arrested her, made her go to court, suspended her license to operate even the simplest motor vehicle.

Do you think Diva would have learned her lesson? The answer is yes. Diva does not desire to spend her days locked up in an icky cell with hardened women criminals that say and do scary things to Diva-like creatures.

But the fact that she was stupid enough to get caught is not why she is the SKANK OF THE DAY. No. On the contrary, she made this list because she was stupid enough to get caught a couple more times driving on said suspended license.

Hello?!?! I know you are filthy freakin rich, and most everybody does most everything for you, but, DUH! Are you STUPID enough to believe that you can get away with the same offense multiple times?? Hire a driver, dumbass! Party your ass off all the time!

In all honesty, I don’t think jail time was warranted. It’s not like she was out there drunker than a skunk. No. She was simply tooling around L.A. like the big Paris dawg she is. You know… shopping, Starbucks… those fruitless tasks that she must endure on a daily basis. Ooops!!!

The city of Los Angeles would have been much better off fining the shit out of her every time she blows it. She is worth ga-gillions. Why not take her for a little more each time she gets out and acts like an ass? Why not have someone watching her for fine-able offenses. The City of Los Angeles would have the money to get police support in Watts where they really need it.

But, they did sentence her. And I went all shades of red when I heard they had released her to house arrest. Why? Mental problems with being in a confined, damp, loud, open place? Not able to eat gourmet? Burritos not good enough for her? Was it not enough that she had her sentence reduced and was only going to have to be there for a minute and a half anyway? Honestly, I’m shocked she made it 10 hours before she flipped completely out.

So, this judge decided that she’s an idiot and now our girl Paris is not only doing her sentence, but she’s doing the whole 45 days. Ooops. Off ya go, lass. Screaming and crying isn’t going to do anything for ya now. Off ya go, with those nice deputies over there. I swear… Drama, drama, drama.

Anyway, let us take a moment to run down the list of why Paris Hilton is a MAJOR LEAGUE SKANK:

1. She has that same stupid pose on the red carpet all the time. Head down-tits and ass pushed out. Well, except that time when she crashed on the motorcycle on the red carpet… I must laugh now, excuse me *ROFLMAO*

Sorry, I’m better now.

2. In and out, in and out, in and out of jail. Now do they let anybody else in and out of jail? Why hell no. Mommy’s money just wasn’t good enough this time.

3. The whole being “best friends with Britney” fiasco. Come on now. Britney was semi-skanky, but Paris managed to drag Britney into BIGTIME SKANKDOM. Hello!?!?! Undergarments… look into them.

**Note. What do you wanna bet she wears her panties for the next 45 days.

4. Even Diva is smart enough not to let any questionable materials out in the open. Hello!?!?! Ever heard of a locked, fire-proof box? Keep your junk in the trunk, sister.

Ok, I feel like I am getting a little bit catty here. And I could go on for miles about why I think Paris Hilton deserves the honor of Skank of the Day, but why?

Am I making me feel any better about being me? No, I rock and I don’t need affirmation anyway. Unlike Paris, I’m the bomb even though I’m not build like Barbie and worth my family’s millions.

In closing a few words to Paris:

They’ll give you blankets if you’re cold. Alot of folks survive college on frozen burritos. You won’t starve. It ain’t the Beverly Hilton (pardon the pun), it’s jail. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

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Train Wreck on the Horizon

May 24th, 2007 at 12:54 pm by Diva
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Dear Lord. Won’t it ever go away? What did we do to deserve more drama out of the Anna Nicole family?

Finally, Vergie Arthur *cringe* has quieted down. Finally, Howard K. Stern appears to have went in to relax mode. Nobody has tried to dig her up. There are no more wannabe daddies coming out of the woodwork. Seemed like the train wreck was just about cleaned up and we could all just go on with our lives……

Until 5 minutes ago.

Now it seems Anna’s freak step-sister, Donna Hogan, the author of the much acclaimed biography about Anna Nicole, Train Wreck, is gonna try to step into Anna’s life and live it. Chick is gonna get a new set of boobs and bleach her hair. She’s icky, and borderline scary.

Get this. She’s gonna get the new rack and go try to screw her way into Playboy… *cringe again*.

Wonder how long it’ll be before Howard K. moves in on her? At least she’s got the book profits… that dork doesn’t even have a job now.

For real, the last thing I want to hear on the news everyday is all the crazy shit this broad is gonna do to try and drum up some (apparently much needed) attention. Yup, I could live a thousand lives and be happy never to here any of this crap about Anna Nicole and her screwed up family/friends again.

On second thought, maybe I should start a cause….  Donations accepted for Diva’s boob job and other minor plastic surgeries in an effort to beat that freak skank to the punch.  We’ll call it the “Make Diva Famous Fund”.

Mark, you’re in charge of passin the collection plate, pal!

Scientific Fact: Fat Floats!

April 16th, 2007 at 12:38 pm by Diva
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From Fox News:

A 35-year-old Orlando man can thank his 300-pound girth for helping save his life after he jumped off a cruise ship and drifted 20 miles for more than eight hours with a collapsed lung before rescuers found him in the Atlantic Ocean.

Regardless whether I knew my fat would float or not, I would not be jumping off of a perfectly fit rowing boat. That’s just lame. But, Michael Mankamyer did it. More than one witness has come around and said that “he jumped”.

Despite reports that he had “fallen” overboard, theoretically there is no way that could happen. It’s not like he was some tiny little thing that just slipped through the safety rail. No. This is a 300 pound fella.

Now, if you’ve seen the picture of this guy, the story might be explained. He just looks like that kind of goofy, attention-whore who will do anything to be in the class clown and/or the center of attention. You know, the college buddy who always got tanked before midnight and by half past, he was hanging naked from the roof of the frat house.
Jeez, buddy. Couldn’t ya have just talked all of your pals into a bad night of drinking and karaoke?

That’s it. I’ve made a snap decision to stop dieting and to stop going to the gym.
So, if on my honeymoon, I get tanked and take a wrong turn and fall off a big old rowing boat, I’ll be able to float around until they come back to find my fat behind.

He’s just lucky the Pirates weren’t out and about or he would have gotten so dunked for nothing more than being less than genius.

Pandemic Paranoia

August 26th, 2006 at 10:22 pm by Mark
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     Swanky did another article about Terrorism paranoia yesterday, but this time it’s one that I agree with.

Terrorists want to cause terror. We go nuts over every little thing and thus, they succeed, even when they fail i.e. the London liquid plane bombers. They were stopped and we still have to bring air traffic to a grinding halt and raise the panic level. The list of panicy non-threats is seemingly endless…
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I don’t mean to get all conspiritorial on ya, but, who benefits from this hightened sense of panic?

     And the unfortunate part is, I have an answer for that. 

     Media benefits.

     I didn’t intend for this Blog to be about Politics.  Quite honestly, I can’t stand Washington Politicians — they’ll sell us all out before it’s over with.  But one side is a little more responsible that the other when it comes to Media.

     The reason it’s called “Liberal Media” is because, well, they like to cozy up to the Party that’ll tell them what to print, which gives them less workload, and a cash kickback.  The opposing party doesn’t tell them what to print, and doesn’t give them a kickback, so Media will bitch and moan about the increased workload without increased cash.
     So, of course, they’re gonna cozy up to Washington Democrats, and claim, “Oh, Freedom of the Press is great!  And that other party?  They’ll don’t tell us anything, so they must be conspiring against us!”
     Nevermind that the actual problem is that they’re lazy and don’t know how to do good-ol’-fashioned journalism and dig for stories anymore.
     Bear with me, because this is coming from first-hand experience, having been a Media staff writer.  Oh, the number of times I’ve had articles hacked to death and all-but-rewritten by an editor with a Political agenda…
     It really is that sordid.

     Media benefits.

     Some people might say, “Oh, that’s all fine and good, but what about Foreign Media?  They have nothing to gain from sordid American politics!”
     Having worked for a foreign Media entity, I can explain that from first hand experience, as well.  In fact, they have even more to gain.

     Most other countries don’t have “free press.”  Instead, they have a Ministry-operated (i.e. Government) entities which distribute news that Government wants its people to hear.
     That said, Foreign Press tends to be extremely jealous of US Media, who rarely print anything without fear of retribution (cutting jobs, cutting budgets, etc.).  It’s because of that the US was called “Paper Tiger” in so many articles prior to its infamous use by Osama bin Laden.
     Associated Press and Reuters will pick up news from any associate in the world.  With most associates, nine times out of ten, if there’s a juicy story in a given country and a non-story which bashes America, they’ll pick door number two.  
     Even some of the of the British Commonwealths, who regularly sell their best products as export-only, do this sort of thing.  It’s the “underdog mentality,” where a Government can say, “Know why things are so piss poor here?  It’s because of those damn Americans!  Know why you’re paying three pounds a litre for gallon?  Those damn Americans!  And they’re no better than you — check out this headline!”
     It gives their citizens something to feel in common, gives them a common enemy — “Those damn Americans!”
     Four pounds a litre, yes.  3.79 litres per gallon.  Round-about $1.90 per British Pound.  Twenty-one dollars a gallon.  Sucks for them, eh?  But instead of greedy oil companies, they get to blame America for invading Iraq.

     So … Foreign Media (and foreign governments) sow the seeds of Paranoia, reporting everything that happens, with a spin of “America isn’t doing anything about it!” or “Look how America’s screwing up now!”
     AP and Reuters pick up on, and Washington Policians get on TV about it, and our lazy media doesn’t have to write its own stories — they get to embellish every bit of crap and garbage that the Foreign Media gave them.  And if they do a good job, they get a kickback.
     Sordid.  Pathetic.

     Free Press is Free Press.  In this country, have a choice, but they lack the ethics to handle themselves on their own.
     So next time you hear how “The Republicans are limiting our Civil Liberties!” take it with a grain of salt.  Media complains about that specific thing for one reason, and one reason only: there have been numerous bits of Legislation to try and curb their sordid behavior, and make them more responsible in their journalism.
     Go take a look at http://thomas.loc.gov/ and look at the Bills and Voting Records.  You might even find that those things are getting voted for on both sides of the fence.

     The paranoia is pandemic.  It’s politically motivated.

     On that note … I read that terrorist’s favorite Moonbat, Cindy Sheehan, organized another Anti-War Protest today.  What a sad, sad, non-story she is.
     Casey Austin Sheehan (29-May-1979 – 4-Apr-2004) died in Iraq.  He put on a uniform to serve and protect his country.  And when the War in Iraq broke out, he re-enlisted in order to promote Freedom around the globe.  He died doing what he wanted to do.  He is to be commended, and remembered, as both an honorable man and a patriot.

     When’s the last time she even mentioned his name during one of her protests?  When’s the last time that she told anyone that he re-enlisted to go to that war?  When’s the last time she said, “My son was a hero!  He died doing what he believed in!”
     She doesn’t give a damn about her son.  She’s a selfish, self-promoting moonbat who slanders his memory every time she starts one of her tirades.  She writes letters to Barbara Bush claiming, “Your son killed my son!”

     Your son is rolling in his grave, Ms. Sheehan.  Please stop disgracing his good name and crawl back under your rock.  Or your soccer-mom minivan.