Posts Tagged with "sheep"

How to Milk a Sheep

September 17th, 2012 at 7:28 pm by Mark
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Apple has certainly succeeded in one thing: making a more costly, proprietary product “all the rage.”

Ewe Looking For Something?

July 17th, 2007 at 12:33 pm by Mark
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     Those interested in a little late night mischief should certainly check out New Zealand’s #1 Online Dating Site

Speaking of Sheep…

January 3rd, 2007 at 12:19 pm by Mark
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Man, that Bartholomew is sick!     New Zealand was the first place I ever heard, “Hey, Mark, you know why we fornicate with sheep at the edge of a cliff?  They back up!”  MP Grant Gillon got into a mess on July 4th, 2000 after making a similar joke during a conversation about the medical implications of cloning:

I’d ask the Minister whether … it’s appropriate in this case for a woman’s body parts to be inserted into a sheep when that’s normally been the domain of Tory males…

     It might have come off more funny if he hadn’t done it in the middle of Parliament, but hey. Some people never learn.

     Of course, those sorts of comments are easily made there. There are roughly forty million sheep in New Zealand, and only three and a half million inhabitants. Tall women, short men, a female Prime Minister, so well, you do the math… 😉

     Weta, famed for it special effects in Peter Jacksons’ “Lord of the Rings” trilogy and “King Kong,” has finished a new project called “Black Sheep.”

     Everyone needs a good tongue-in-cheek horror flick now and again.; Personally, I would’ve called it “Violence of the Lambs,” but I’m a bastard like that. 😉

In Defense of Gay Sheep

January 2nd, 2007 at 5:21 pm by Mark
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Pink Sheep

     This article from the Britain Sunday Times

[Tennis-star, Martina] Navratilova defended the “right” of sheep to be gay.

     *cough*

     Do gay sheep bleat with a lisp?

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Catmouflage

September 22nd, 2006 at 12:43 pm by Mark
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     Back in July, Swanky had his meticulously planned First Annual Luau at his place.  Sure, maybe it’s a little presumptuous, thinking that it’s gonna be an Annual event, but it was truly a great party.
     A *lot* of people showed up (sixty-plus) to eat and drink heavily, and everyone played nice together.  Where else but Swanky’s Annual Luau are you gonna get sixty people together and not end up with a fight, hurt feelings or annoyance?  (Note the hint, Swanky)

     The next day after cleaning up the yard — kudos to the conscientious crowd who knew how to decently dispose of their debris — the DogCats were extremely affectionate.
     Now, if you’re not familiar with the DogCats, they’re a couple of rather large Maine Coon Cats who play fetch, stand up, chase cars, attack strangers who come into yard and Rottweilers being walked by their owners.  Just imagine your average German Shepherd with needle-sharp teeth and razor claws, and that’s pretty much their overall demeanor.
     After a nice session of fetch with the branches in the yard, the younger of the two decided to take a rest from which little could stir him.  Swanky threw a branch on him.  The younger younger DogCat flinched, bit it a couple of times, and laid back down.
     This, of course, prompted Swanky, Ms. Swanky and I to start throwing more on him.

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     Of course, the fun didn’t stop there.  He just laid there while we added more and more.

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     “Oh, man, this is great!  It’s Catmouflage!” I said as I piled a few more on.
     The laughter brought the elder DogCat closer to observe the situation.

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     If I didn’t didn’t mention it before, yeah, the DogCats can talk, too.  I think his exact words were, “Umm… what the Hell are you people doing?  Umm … You realize you three are idiots, right?”

     Of course, he went to check on his younger sibling, who appeared to be quite “dead” at the time….

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     …however, his concern was met with a sharp tag on the nose by his little brother’s outstretched paw.

     We continued, but the very last branch, much larger than the rest, was enough for him.

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     One flip, and he walked right out.

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     And that was that.

     Note to PETA and the SPCA: No DogCats were harmed during this excercise.  Neither were any sheep or rams.  Please do not attempt with normal cats.

     Good times, good times…