Move Over Shake Weight: Now There’s Something Meatier!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df8GVX0LbC8

Given the opportunity, one of the things people find most perplexing about me is how much animals love me. Be it the angriest dog or the most shy housecat, or even wild animals such as deer or tigers, they show little fear and seek out my attention like I’m an old friend they’ve known for years. Unless they’re ferrets.

For whatever reason, as soon as I near one, even the most docile of ferrets will turn ferocious, seeking blood from the closest jugular vein they can attach themselves to, whether it belongs to me or the poor bastard holding them.

Ferrets are evil, and I know this. And I’m sure I’m not the only one…

Most people will agree that Richard Marx has been getting colonics since at least the 80′s… I’m just saying…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPI5ecQ1YTA

Perhaps his mother should’ve just given him a t-shirt … that said Abercrombie and BITCH …

I’ve walked around today in awe, making sure multiple times that my crotch wasn’t wet and that nothing was staining my pants.  I finally asked, “Was there a Cosmo article that said women should stare at a man’s crotch and then flash a coy smile, or is it just me?”

Apparently, it’s just me.

Unlike this poor bastard…

Via.