Archive for April, 2007

OMGWTFBBQ, 33 People Died!

April 19th, 2007 at 10:58 pm by Norton
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Yes it was a tragedy, yes it was traumatic for those involved, and yes it was horribly unfair. But honestly, get over it already.

Why are we as a nation so infatuated with the death of 33 people whom most of us would never have met? Is this event any different than the thousands of other events that resulted in 1200 deaths across the nation in that same period of time? Is it suddenly news worthy when 33 people die in a single event vs hundreds or thousands dying in similar yet unrelated events?

In the United States of America, how many people drank themselves to death that day? How many innocent people were killed because someone was driving while drinking themselves to death? How many toddlers were raped by a family member. How many children were beaten, bruised, maimed, or killed by their parents that day? How many children slit their wrists or hung themselves because of depression? How many people starved to death? With the exception of starvation (just eight) each of those numbers is greater than 33, most are over 100.

There are many atrocities closer to home that we should be worried about. Yet as a people the US appears intent on ignoring the “routine deaths” in favor of the sensational. Why can’t we realize that CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, and all these other so called news channels are FOR PROFIT? They don’t give one bit of shit about reporting the truth. They only care about ratings.

The news is supported by the advertisers. Ratings go up when more people watch. Advertisers pay more for shows with higher ratings. It stands to reason that a for-profit company would do everything they can to get more viewers. I see it on the national news channels, local news, and even PBS and NPR. They all constantly promise one more tidbit of information to string you along and keep you from changing channels.

Ironically, I don’t blame the news agencies. I blame you! You watch the news, you agonize over the tragedy and you buy it, hook line and sinker. Truth, lies, slanted left, slanted right, you consume it all. Your eyeballs glued to the freaking CNN or Fox News are to blame. If you wouldn’t watch the shit, they wouldn’t produce it.

So as you’re walking around tomorrow and see people wearing orange and maroon, commemorating the shooting at VT, thank them from the bottom of your heart for perpetuating a nation of lies, half truths, and sensational tragedy.

The News Today

April 19th, 2007 at 5:04 pm by Zacque
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Today I thought that I would try and be an actual journalist and tell you something useful.  So like many actual “journalists” I will syndicate the news today with my own personal spin.

From three days ago most news publications are trying to give you and update on the Virginia Tech shooting.  The new revelation has to deal with the shooter’s past mental health history. In addition, while in a poetry class, the professor had the shooter removed from class.

Unfortunately, the natural course of events for liberal sissies is taking effect. They are trying to blame lack of gun control as well as awareness for the incedent. Well, I have news for them, gun control is without question two things: 1. Use both hands. 2. Hit what you are aiming for. So those were obviously NOT this kid’s problem. He hit what he was aiming at, probably used both hands and most definately had to be aware of what he was doing. Especially since he went back for seconds.

In other overwhelming sissydom, the Attorney General is in jeopardy of losing his job simply for making a decision and having piss poor evidence to back it up with. Welcome to the real world with the rest of us buddy. God forbid someone in the Government be actually accountable for a mistake they made instead of blaming it on a predessor and spending more money trying to fix the problem, while in reality screwing it up worse than it was originally.

Speaking of problems which are almost beyond repair, the Iraq situation is still ongoing at this point. Well who am I kidding? We as a country are trying to let a group of beauracrats to perform the job of the Commander and Chief. Not what the framers had in mind I think… Leaving the Commander and Chief to do his job is most ideal and will work flawlessly when he has a good head upon his shoulders and is not guilty of previously mentioned money issue in the last story. Oh wait, see bureaucracy again for lack of funding on that one.

And now to your hippy dippy weather man, for all of the hippy dippy weather, man…

Stock Photos

He should have….

April 19th, 2007 at 11:50 am by Diva
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Taken the chicken bowls for life and run!

Sanjaya from American Idol was offered free tasty chicken bowls for the rest of his natural born life if he would just get a bowl cut before he got the boot.

Poor Sanjaya, no more idol, no more free chicken offer… what’s he gonna do now?

Mother-In-Laws

April 19th, 2007 at 9:22 am by Diva
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Mother-in-Law. Those three words hyphenated together have somehow become the monster in the closet. Simple meaning from the dictionary: mother of one’s spouse.

If it were only that simple, huh?

Granted, I am a Mother-in-Law now that my beautiful, eldest daughter has taken that plunge into marital bliss. *eyes rolled waaay back into the head*

Presently, my view is that I am the most wonderful, giving, caring, patient, non-homicidal mother-in-law out there. I do it for my baby girl. Otherwise I’m sure I’d be a horn sprouting, pitchfork shaking monsters hiding and waiting for that boy to come around screw something up.
But, not me. I assure you.

My ex-husband’s mother was the devil reincarnated in female form. I kid you not. She was scary right down to the evil glint in her eye and forked tongue. She would aspire to purposely make me feel like I was treading on thin ice. That was generally verbal. But did she stop there? No, she is Korean. Everything she would cook was flavored up with just about enough fresh chopped red-pepper to kill a two ton rhino. “Takey Diva some that”.

Sure, thanks. Let me get right on eating that. I love my gastrointestinal tract to be lit up enough that when I fart, I shoot flames across the room.

Looking back, I should have taken it as a sign. He has never, nor will he ever be anything but a mama’s boy. She buys his pants, his shirts, he boxers and socks. She does his laundry. No wonder the man moved back in with her when before the ink on our divorce papers was even dry.

What kind of man was she raising? I’m not all to sure about it, but I know she was in definite competition with me for his affection.

Good for her though. I got out of having to wash his vine ripened socks.

The above thoughts bring me to the following point, which was inspired by my favorite rag-mag.

Could one actually live with one’s mother-in-law on a more or less permanent basis??

I for one, would never even consider living with my significant other’s mother. Even if she was an angel just like me, I couldn’t do it. Two alpha-females in one house is a design for disaster.

I’m just glad to know that Tom and Katie are going through it too. Tom’s mom and other family members all live in the house with the happy couple.

Is Katie going to be able hang on?? She has to deal with Mr. Cruise, and his mother.

My thought is: No way!! I give them another year at the most if THE MOTHER IN LAW doesn’t get the boot.

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Darwinism Alive and Well

April 18th, 2007 at 5:12 pm by Mark
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     I was slow.  I just found this… but apparently it’s made its way around the ‘net before…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acsz0o2jtzg

     The potential for something to go wrong here is astoundingly high, and yet… It kinda… *shakes head* Looks like… Fun… Why, the only thing missing here is the requisite case of Miller Lite…

     BUT …

     Can you say Darwin Award, boys and girls?

     I knew you could…