On the third day, following his persecution by dogs, he was risen. Nine times.

Another popular candle was scented with cat fur, which had been boiled in water and oil prior to its infusion into wax. You don’t even want to know what it was called…

Facebook is the perfect enabler for overly emotional narcissists, drama queens and asshats just looking to pick a fight… Asshats like Jake, who’s so obviously trying to stir the pot. *rolls eyes* Seriously, Jake, she’s fine — she just needs some Advil^®.

Don’t worry, young Skywalker. Everything’ll be fine now that Michael Jackson showed up.

The old demographics, showing that 92% of Internet users were male, no longer apply given that it’s 2012 and Internet and Email usage is pretty proportionate between men and women. So why do we all still get the penis enlargement emails?