Apparently he lost his balls to her as well. Is it me, or does she look like a giant hairless chicken?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9TXVMkQ29g

Ok, ok. Enough with the itchy butt stuff, right? Wrong! This is going to turn into the longest running itchy butt blog on the Internet.

“It already is”, you say.

Well I’ll respond to that with: It isn’t long enough!

“But what else can you possibly say about your itchy butt?”

1. That I am not sure why it itches as frequently as it does.
2. That I am not sure why tags in underwear are designed the way they are.
3. That I find it humourous that I scratched my ass on camera at John Wayne airport from the first to last gate. That’s right. I scratched my ass while walking all the way from one end of John Wayne to the other. Non-Stop. And after only 5 or 8 beers.
4. That it was even funnier on the way back to gate 2 where my plane was departing from…
5. After scratching at an itch for about 12 and a half minutes, it doesn’t itch much any more.

There is so much more to write… but as fate would have it… I’ve got to go change my boxers (suprised?) cuz there’s a funky itch where the tag is.

Ha! You thought I was going to say smell didn’t you?

Have you ever just had the kind of day that no matter what you do, you can’t satisfy the itch on your butt? Mind you, not IN your butt, but ON your butt…

Anyways, turns out I was having one of those days where my butt itched. I was also having one of those days were I was acutely aware of the number of cameras that point at us from varying locations within businesses. The bank had one, the liquor shop had one, the doctors office had at least three, Fry’s and Target both had some, and I’m pretty sure there was even one at the restaurant for lunch.

It leaves me to wonder, how many people, besides those standing behind me at the time, actually watched me scratch at my butt today?

It also makes me wonder, how many people could I get to watch me scratch my butt tomorrow…

Ruminations

Ok – so sitting around I sometimes get to wondering “What The Hell?”.

Today is one of those days.

It seems that the more I read through blogs and whatnot the more I come across people using the wrong words in place of the right ones.

Half the hypocrite, I’m not even sure if these are classified as spelling mistakes or grammatical mistakes. Anyways, what I am getting to are words such as brake and break. How can you mix up saying something like “I like to break for babies” or how about “Sorry officer, I forgot to set the parking break” and my favorite “Yo! I’m so gonna brake yo face!” (when said in a heavy NY accent).

Anyways, it’s not that I’m a brilliant writer and haven’t been known to make a misteak hear or there, it’s just that I wish people would take the time to either get reacquainted with their backspace key or at least visit m-w.com once in a while.

Update – I take great pain in re-stating the fact that California is laying off close to 30,000 teachers. Just think of all the crap you’ll have to read from now on, in addition to my own drivel.

Stepping off the SoapBox

The one where the guy takes a shit in the catbox and the girlfriend takes it to the vet to ask what the fuck is wrong with her cat?

That’s funny.