Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnet™ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Star Wars Helpdesk

May 9th, 2007 at 4:51 pm by Mark
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     Alright, so it’s old … I haven’t seen it before …

     And, obviously, now I can’t use the I-D-Ten-T thing anymore, either… Kinda sucks, since RTFM is common knowledge, and I just lost PEBKAC last month

America Diggs its Lawyers

May 9th, 2007 at 1:56 pm by Mark
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     By now, most everyone has heard about what happened at Digg… but in case you haven’t…

     The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) started sending Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) requests to Digg, whose user-supported community were giving kudos to some little cyberpunks who decided to post Cracks which would allow users to steal licensed content from HD-DVD movies.  These DMCA requests merely asked Digg to take down links to the crack-codes, which their community users had posted.
     Users on Digg revolted as the company began complying with the DMCA requests, and posted thousands upon thousands on links to the illegal material.  Eventually, Digg was forced to concede to the mutiny, as it put an enormous amount of pressure on the dotcom’s small number of owners.

     Digg shouldn’t’ve had to exhaust their resources trying to fight this stuff.  And this is the downfall of user-supported communities on the Internet… And the users who think it’s a matter of “free and protected speech” are actually just a bunch of thugs.
     There, I said it.
     And I’m right.

     Let’s think of it this way:
     Some guy is standing at your local Mall passing out keys that fit the front door of your office, along with a flyer that has your Alarm code on it.  Is that illegal?  Yes.
     The same guy goes and puts your office key and Alarm code on the bulletin board at a local University.  Is that illegal?  Yes.

     But if he went home, and posted the information on the Internet, along with a precise method to guarantee that you could create that same office key using materials you already own, then some asshat Lawyer would claim that it’s protected, free speech.  And that is completely wrong, and defies all logic.
     So I have to ask … What’s the difference between a guy doing any of those three things, and passing out “key” to crack an HD-DVD movie?

     There is no difference.  It is illegal.  It has been illegal.

     And anyone who helps the guy do it?  Aiding and abetting.  That’s been illegal for a few hundred years.

     But money talks… You can guarantee that right now, over this controversey, a bunch of Lawyers will get together with a plan to make money by setting ridiculous precedents, becoming experts and what can only be called bullshit.

     It’s happened before.  For instance…
     It was illegal to trade child pr0n.  However, a lot of people felt it was okay to do it via the Internet, and had Lawyers prove their case.  The overwhelming excuse by Lawyers was, “It’s the Internet — it’s not real.”
     *cough*bullshit*cough*
     Finally, a bunch of other Lawyers got together and decided to make a law against “trading child pr0n on the Internet.”  Did we need that law, when “trading child pr0n” was already illegal?
     It was a way to make a bunch of Lawyers a pile of free cash from an unsuspecting public who felt that giving Lawyers and lobbyists some money was the only way to make it end — instead of starting a grassroots campaign to enforce the existing laws that made trafficking child pr0n illegal.

     It really sucks that people won’t realize that.

     If you call someone and threaten their life, it’s illegal.  If you do it over the Internet, it’s illegal.
     If you have a restraining order against someone and they harrass you, it’s illegal.  Even if they do it over the Internet, it’s illegal.

     Why do we keep letting pedantic Lawyers tell us none of this stuff is real?

     Tell your Representatives: if it’s illegal in real life, it’s illegal on the Internet.  This kind of Legal seperation has to stop!

     Unless it’s between two consenting adults…

     [ Maybe I’ve watched too much Penn & Teller ]

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Social Rankings vs. Search Engine Optimization

May 9th, 2007 at 12:57 pm by Mark
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There’s no doubt about it … everybody’s website needs a good search engine ranking, especially if you’re trying to run a web-based business.  But when you’re running a blog, full of personal thoughts and random ideas, it can be a daunting task to figure out what niche your blog fits into with the best SEO Consultant.
Hell, take us, for example … We’ve got tech articles.  We have “what’s going on in my life” articles.  We have political and current events articles.  And, past that, we have a lot of things with varying degrees of humor (I say varying degress because regardless of how funny the eight of us might find it, many people will have absolutely no clue what the Hell we’re on about).

My favorites are the “What the hell?” articles.  The screwingwithgoogleon-aregularbasis (and especially Joseph Ferrante) articles, we’ve had some pretty decent results… especially since we’re traveled enough to get same-day-indexing.  😉
These things work, ladies and gentlemen, and don’t let any wannabe SEO firm tell you otherwise. Except for some of the Local SEO Brisbane agencies, most of them refute to the above.

However … When you’re out of a specific niche, social rankings come heavily into play.

Mybloglog has been given us a ton of traffic, for instance.  I was introduced to BlogCatalog last night, and that’s pretty cool.  Fuelmyblog has been freaking tremendous.  Linking to your site from a MySpace blog also helps.  And if you’ve got a lot of bloggers in your community (like we do here in Knoxville), reciprocating links with your neighbors is a Hell of a good way to bolster some new visitors.
Digg, Tehcnorati, del.icio.us and such are useful, but unless you’re getting the traffic in there to start adding to those sites, they’re not gonna help all that much.  But what you can do is join any number of social organizations, such as Dosh Dosh’s Technorati Favorites Exchange, where you’ll actaully stand a chance of improving your Technorati rank — which definitely improves your readership and your ability to sell advertising.

Actually, Dosh Dosh’s article made me take pause.  I’ve been pretty good about adding local blogs to my Favorites sections of those types of social networking sites.  As long as there’s some reciprocity, it can really help increase the rank of all of the sites involved. Also, if you want the power of your Sage ERP or Sage CRE software to be on the next level, read more here.
Now, if only us locals could organize and effort to reciprocate links, then, uh… Like I said, it only stands to help us all.  😉  [ *makes mental note to get Instapundit onboard … heh* ]

Tennessee Government? I’d Rather Call India

May 8th, 2007 at 9:44 am by Mark
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     This morning, I got a call from a customer who was attempting to use the Tennessee Purchasing Division’s Notice of Award and Bid Opportunities system.  It’s a pretty common situation: the State has some software that was written many, many years ago, and haven’t bothered to update it.  They ask users to download a plugin which doesn’t work on Windows XP, and is unsupported by IBM.

Error

     First call, I ask to speak with anyone who can handle some website issues.  The phone rings and rings, and eventually someone picks it up, and hangs up on me.

     The second call, I get an operator who insists on connecting me with the bids department.  When I get there, I’m told, “I don’t handle that!” and promptly get hung up on.

     On the third call, the first operator answers again and tells me that I should talk to “Random Government Employee” (RGE).
     “Hi, RGE, I’m calling for a vendor.  We’re having some issues using the website,” I explain.
     “What seems to be the problem?” he monotones.
     “Well, the viewer software that you guys direct people to download isn’t compatible with XP.  It hasn’t been updated since 2004.”
     “Yes it does work with XP!” he responds angrily.
     “Well, my customer has tried it, I’ve tried it, and it doesn’t work.”
     “We use it here!” he interjects.
     “Well, that would probably be a different one, made to work with your printing system.  There’s another…”
     “No, there’s only one!” he interrupts.
     “Okay, anyway, it doesn’t work.”
     “Yes it does!” he yells.
     He promptly hangs up on me.

     Now, three calls, three hangups, I’m getting a little annoyed.

     Fourth call, I speak with Operator #2 again, and she directs me to someone, but refuses to tell me the person’s name.  Ok.
     “This is RGE.  Can I help you?”
     “Yes, I was calling about the website.  Do you handle technical issues?” I ask.
     “I can handle some,” she responds.  “It depends on what it is.”
     “Well, the APF viewer software that’s linked from the website doesn’t work with XP…”
     “Yes it does,” she states bluntly.
     “No, ma’am, it doesn’t.  It comes up with an installer error.  The IBM website has no XP compatibility listed.  The file is marked ‘old and unsupported’ and the ‘new’ file to replace that, which is supposedly compatible with XP doesn’t have a print button.”
     “Yes it does,” she states bluntly, again.
     “Ma’am, I’ve attempted this on two machines.  The customer has tried it on theirs.  Setup will not run.”
     “It works fine.  We run XP, and it works fine.”
     She hangs up.
     Apparently, ‘some’ technical support meant, “If I feel like you’re worth talking to.”

     I told my customer what was going on.

     In the meantime, they’d called and spoken with a different RGE.
     “Your firewall is blocking it.”
     How this has anything to do with a program that won’t install is beyond me.

     Playing, “yes it does / no it doesn’t,” with adults is bothersome enough.  There are no questions: “You are wrong!” is the resounding argument.  They won’t listen to the issue, just want to argue, and have no intention of helping anyone.
     And the hanging up thing?  That’s just asinine.  I could see the point if I was calling screaming at them, cursing or just generally being a jerk, but I’m not.  I don’t do that.  I have to keep some semblance of civility.  I mean, after all, I am calling them for assistance

     But no.

     No assistance.  No civility.  Nothing but a dialtone.

     It wouldn’t be the first time something like that has happened, either.  Dealing with the State Department of Education was just as difficult given a situation that didn’t exactly fit any specific criteria.  Dealing with a Sales and Use Tax office that can’t process anything in a timely fashion unless you physically wave it under their noses isn’t very helpful either.  Neither can the Department of Vital Records get their heads out to do what they say they’re gonna do…

     Certainly, the culture in Tennessee Government is pretty far removed from the way it used to be.  And these days, there’s no one to even complain to when there’s a problem.
     So do we do the typical thing and blame the influx of rude immigrants, or should this growing problem be placed squarely at the feet of Governor Phil Bredesen?  The way it is now, I’d rather be talking to Indians.  At least then I can eventually get transferred to a manager…

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Time Lapse Painting: Phil Hansen

May 2nd, 2007 at 8:55 pm by Mark
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     It’s May 2nd, and as promised last month, it’s time to spotlight another talented artist.

     Seattle-based Phil Hansen fits the bill.  He’s quite different from the last couple of artists I’ve blogged about.  While the others are speed painters with incredible skills, that’s only a small portion of what Hansen does.
     Hansen uses a myriad of techniques, tools and materials from construction equipment to Starbucks cups.  When you think “Modern Artist,” and perhaps even “Avant-garde,” this is the type you end up with.

     He’s earned himself quite the controversial reputation by making a number of political statements with his artwork.  From Rosa Parks to the KKK, from a homeless man to George Bush, he’s come up with some damned fine work and managed to get more than a few people thinking.
     My personal favorite is entitled, “48 Women.”  It’s a portrait of convicted serial killer Gary Ridgway, aka The Green River Killer.  Up close, you’ll see that the portrait is made up of pixelated photos of a few of his forty-eight victims, including some which merely read, “Jane Doe.”

Phil Hansen: 48 Women

     Hansen defended the painting on a 2004 news clip from KIRO:

Some people don’t want me to give more glory to him, more fame, more exposure.  But at the same time, if we’d never do that, if we never see his face again, we’d forget those forty-eight women.

     On to the timelapse…

     In one of his more tame moods, he karate chops Bruce Lee onto the canvas:

     Next up, in a work entitled “The Value of Blood,” Hansen paints North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il … yes, in blood.  Kids, do not try this at home…

     Be sure and check out Phil’s other videos on YouTube.  And, of course, you’ll definitely want to check out his website at philinthecircle.com.

     And, hey… if ya like it… Check out his store. 😉