Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Techniques Learned From Porn

February 20th, 2014 at 9:09 pm by Mark
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It seems that freely available internet porn has made many people have some rather ridiculous expectations of their partners, although there are sites where you can find adult material, so if you’re looking for that, click here for this.

* During Sex, I suddenly stop moving. *  Her: "What are you doing?"  Me: "Shhh, it's ok, I saw this on Pornhub, it's called Buffering."

First Date Conversation

February 20th, 2014 at 7:57 pm by Mark
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One accidental text can set up a possible relationship for all sorts of drama.

Girl: "OK! So I'm about to go on this blind date (his name is James) if I don't call you in 3 hours, I'm either dead, or have been sold in a sex trade ring." James: "Uhhh, this is James, I'll see you in ten minutes. And don't worry, I wont sell you or kill you.  Uhhhhhh, LOL :-/" Girl: "Omg. I am mortified. Im so sorry." James: "Well, this will make for good dinner conversation."

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Looking for a New Bike?

February 20th, 2014 at 5:05 pm by Mark
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It’s generally fairly easy for guys to pick out a bike. They pick the features they want, choose a color and make the purchase. For women, there are sometimes additional considerations…

Women! When choosing your new bike... Think about the colour of the seat! ;)

The Importance of Teamwork

February 20th, 2014 at 3:43 pm by Mark
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Sometimes, no matter how spirited a team might be, one member may lag slightly behind the others. It’s the responsibility of any functional team to assist that team member by whatever means necessary to accomplish their goal. Other times, two opposing teams may unite, however temporarily, to fulfill a goal within a larger scope.

Teamwork: Because sometimes your teammates need a little extra boost.

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Video Game Logic

February 20th, 2014 at 1:58 pm by Mark
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I’m not sure what’s worse — the video game logic or the player logic, which seems to dictate that anyone better than you is cheating, and anyone who is worse than you’s “mom was pretty good last night.”

Video Game Logic: "I can't possibly fir through here. Need to find a way to open this."  Jackie Chan: Whwhwhwhwhwhwhwhwh?