Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnet™ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

I Don’t Think That’s What They Meant…

January 29th, 2014 at 7:21 pm by Mark
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On the off chance that this wasn’t just a complete misunderstanding about a “delivery” video, some things about your parents are just better left unspoken, unwritten and unknown…

VHS Label: "The Making of You.  Starring Mommy & Daddy, w/ a special guest appearance by Uncle Bill."

Good Way to Meet New and Exciting People

January 29th, 2014 at 5:02 pm by Mark
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You’re definitely more likely to attract people using this name tag than by using the phrase, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

HELLO  My name is: Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

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Facebook Addicts: Make Money from Facebook NOW!

January 29th, 2014 at 3:04 pm by Mark
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Using this method, even a total idiot could make between $250 – $750 a week!

How to Make Money from Facebook.  1. just go to "Account Settings."  2. press "Deactivate my account."  3. go to work

Drunk Baby: Advice About Women

January 28th, 2014 at 11:04 pm by Mark
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This very well might explain a few friends’ douchey husbands…

Drunk Baby: Let me give you an advice about women. Yell loud enough and tits will fly into your mouth.

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Think She Takes Too Long in the Shower?

January 28th, 2014 at 9:17 pm by Mark
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It’s a common complaint by many men that women take far too long to get ready to leave the house. But just to be politically correct, up to 15% of men may like this, as well…

The New Pantene Shampoo Bottle ... Imagine How Long She Will Take to Get Ready Now!!