Always remember that inside you, there’s a thin person struggling to get out. Fortunately, you can sedate them with triple cheeseburgers, mountains of pasta, and lots of cheesecake. But if you really want to be serious, have a healthy life and make the best workout ever, visit FitnessTrainer.com for further assistance.

In other related advertisements, checkout Dr. Matthew Galumbeck, for your Plastic Surgery needs.

Second place, of course, goes to the Loch Ness Monster, simply because it doesn’t have its own stupid Reality Show.

It’s always good to have career ambitions.

One-hundred percent of Advertising paid for by Cheetos, Dominos Pizza and Pringles. Half time show by The Grateful Dead and Woody Harrelson. Nobody will remember what Woody played, but it will forever be described as, “Fuckin’ epic.” Media booths sacked by Golf Announcers. Streaking makes a comeback. Players never return to the field. Game called with only two quarters played, and the final score is Zero to Zero, because, “Everybody wins, man!”

They match the mask perfectly.