Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Did You Know Lobsters are Alive When You Kill Them?

February 1st, 2013 at 9:52 pm by Mark
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I don’t want to live on this planet any more…

Snooki: "That's why I don't eat friggin' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it."

Star Wars vs. Pulp Fiction

January 31st, 2013 at 9:48 pm by Mark
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Say Jar Jar Binks ONE MORE MOTHERF@#$IN’ TIME!

The Force, Motherfucker! Is it WITH you?

Stock Photos

New BIC Pens No Good for a Man

January 30th, 2013 at 5:40 pm by Mark
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Now available with the US — with some amazing satire, to boot. I won’t be purchasing them, of course, because I don’t want to be a unicorn (see link).

Sex After Marriage?

January 29th, 2013 at 7:01 pm by Mark
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You might not know his name, but you’ll know her husband by the smile on his face…Please also take a look at this casual dating site : https://www.bangdownunder.com/

Happy Anniversary: After all these years, Lisa still loves Dick.

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

More Evidence That Media is Stupid

January 28th, 2013 at 5:52 pm by Mark
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No sense claiming it’s a sarcastic title on such a boring article…

'We hate math,' say 4 in 10 - a majority of Americans