Right now, I’m just reflecting a little about how everything is my fault.  You see, for whatever reason, everything is my fault.  There are different reasons for it being my fault, but it usually revolves around the fact that I have a penis.
     This all started when I was a born.

     Being a rather healthy newborn didn’t help matters.  You see, it was my fault my mother had such a difficult labor.  It was my fault, too, that she ended up married to my father.  In fact, it was also my fault when she was tired, when she was sick, and even when it was just too damn gloomy outside.
     Now, you know for certain that this crap we’ve called weather for months in East Tennessee is all my fault.  Because I can control the weather.  Seriously, you know, I am a minor Weather deity.

     Apparently, when someone I don’t know calls me up screaming and yelling at me, it’s my fault.  A few years ago, Bellsouth hooked me up with this great telephone number, 865-544-5750.  The reason I post this is because, ya know, it’s published in about one hundred fourty-four thousand places as the number to the Knox County Public Library, not including every book that’s ever passed through their doors, and the fact that the number changed ten years ago.
     You see, I was just screwing with people when I told them I wasn’t really the Library.  Yes, asshat, you owe $6958.42 in late charges for the book you didn’t return in 1963.  I know this because it’s my fault you dialed the number without checking in your telephone directory.       It’s my fault because I am the Library.

     It’s my fault when some guy who wants to bone my girlfriend starts harrassing both of us to no end.  It’s my fault when he makes up an elaborate story about how I came to his house to beat the crap out of him and he’s afraid for his life.  It’s my fault.
     Apparently, when I’m sitting on a plane and half way across the country, I have the ability to make people do really stupid crap like make up stories.  And when I land at DFW Airport for a layover, it’s my fault that he’s calling the police right then.
     You see, I have this effect on people I’ve never met.  I can be in two places at once and control people with my mind.

     It’s my fault, too, that someone finally decrypted a password on one of my old computers.  I didn’t have a chance to wipe it before they took it from me, and, well, you know.  I planned it all.
     I planned, a year later, for them to start sending Yahoo messages to anyone who sent me a message, digging to see whether or not I was screwing them.  I also planned for them to use the Desktop SMS App and start sending text messages to random bloggers.  And I intentionally didn’t change my phone number just so this could happen.
     It’s my fault, because I’m a sociopath who can plan things down to the miniscule detail, just to screw with people for no apparent reason.

     It’s my fault, when two people who were trying their damndest to get me to do something I didn’t wanna do pop up a year later with phone calls and threats.  You see, by not having sex with these two — well, yeah, hot — women who threw themselves at me, because my heart and body belonged to someone else, I’m a complete asshole.
     Because you know, I am God’s gift to women, and the biggest player ever.  Totally.  I just make women want me by not doing a damn thing and telling them to go away.  It’s all my fault that they don’t take their medication and fuck off like rational people.

     Meanwhile, 378 people in the background are yelling, “Mark!  You need to get laid!”  And right now, I’m starting to agree.  That’s my fault.  Because I’m human.
     Amazingly, I know that if there were 100 women in the room who wanted to, I would end up with the one who’s more fucked up than a football bat…

     And that’s my fault, too… because when I see somebody who’s hurt, I give a damn…

     I’m sorry.  I just suck like that.  My fault…

     And just for that … I’m gonna make it rain again!  You’ll see, you bastards!

     While the media keeps going off to castigate Fort Hood as a violent military installation, do remember that it houses nearly 50,000 people.  It’s less a Base than a medium-sized small town.  It’s also on the outskirts of the small city of Killeen, Texas.

     Please keep this in mind when you listen to this “bullshit” that Media keeps portraying about “so much violence in recent years.”  At least half of said violence has been caused by people who didn’t even belong there, much more in off-base apartments, etc. etc.  Its “record of violence” is miniscule when compared to “business as usual” in many average towns of the same size, so these assertions by Media — made because they have nothing REAL to report —  are becoming pretty ridiculous.

     In the meantime, for those who *have* the heart and soul that our media seems to lack…

     We watch.  We listen.  And we care.

     And I hope to hear from some people soon…

     Yes, as seen on morning, daytime and nightly television, it’s the FABULOUS, HIGHLY SOUGHT AFTER Balloon Boy costume, just in time for Halloween!

The gondola is a semi-scale precision laser cut unit that attaches to the bottom of Plantraco’s 38″ metallized nylon flying saucer balloon. It has the same chance of lifting your 6-year old as the one you may have seen on CNN or MSNBC TV. So don’t call the national guard or you might get yourself in a bit of trouble eh? It’s a bit smaller, but we are certain you can still fool CNN’s Wolf Blitzer for a long while to come! That’s whatcha call quality investigative journalism right? Right!

     Of course, it doesn’t take much to fool monotonous mediatard Wolf Blitzer, the man who singlehandedly caused the shooting death of FBI Agent Linda Franklin on October 14th, 2002 by going on television to goad and belittle the then-famous, and media-addicted, Beltway Sniper with statements like, “You’re not a real sniper!  A real sniper would make head shots!”  Agent Franklin was, of course, fatally shot in the head only hours later, as she left a DC-Area Home Depot.

     The fact that this asshat is still on television grates my nerves.

     Well, that, and every other ridiculously speculative, non-story they re-air every fifteen minutes… Oh, like how they accused security guard Richard Jewell of trying to blow up Olympic Centennial Park… or … Balloon Boy…

Tip: Okay, Anton sent the lin to the Halloween Costume, which is brilliant.  But seeing Wolf Blitzer’s name in print just pissed me off…

Ya know, this whole Ubermouth bit is pissing me off.  And the odd thing was, nobody poisoned the well.  Nobody talked smack about her.  Nobody went off all half-cocked.  And I was clearly in the right when even I told her to leave me alone, which, she clearly won’t.  Regardless of the number of times she’s banned or blocked, she continues to return and attempt to make contact.
I’m pretty damn sure that’s what “stalking” is.  A “Stalker” crying “stalker” makes about as much sense as a screen door on a submarine.  And it’s also clear that Ubermouth will stop at nothing to force someone who doesn’t want to speak out in the open … so that she can revel in her list of dupes and “friends” ripping on someone else for a change.
To what end?

The fact is — I don’t even know this fucking woman, and for what she’s done — to me, even — so far, I sure as Hell don’t ever want to!

It amazes me how many people can jump on a bandwagon, believing such outlandish nonsense that she’s being stalked and victimized by one of the writers of this blog.  One of the reasons I asked said writer to write here, aside from the fact that she’s a pretty damn good writer, was so that I could observe the behavior in-depth.  And boy, did I, ever!

The thing is, Ubermouth and I were never friends.  She claims we were, and that is something I do not get.  What she did a year ago, and it’s just like what she does with other people, was find that I was going through some stuff, lent an ear (which I all but refused) and then asked me to “do” something for her.  In my case, much like others, she asked if I’d help her screw with Crushed, a guy I don’t even know, but who she’d made a solid two years of blog-effort at attacking in most vile and vicious ways.
Of course, I told her, “Hell no!”  And I ceased contact with her.

Then, of course, she comes back talking about what someone said about me, coming off like she’s giving helpful information, and again, I told her I didn’t care, leave me out of it, and leave me alone.

Then, I suppose as a last ditch effort, she started hitting on me online.  I said, “Hell, no!” and to cease and desist (she won’t deny it, either, but said that it was “uncharitable” in her comments here).  But, that’s exactly what happened.

For months, and with no recourse, she continued to post drivel and bullshit, knowing she’s not wanted in any way, shape or form.  However, apparently, for whatever reason, she just kept stoking and harrassing until finally, she posted this crap on a post where I’d ripped some threatening weenie (an unstable redneck who’d taken the time and money to drive 200 miles to “teach me a lesson”) a new ass over the woman I still very much love:

From: ubermouth
Date: Thursday, April 16, 2009

New comment on your post #2127 “I Said Please…”
Author : ubermouth (IP: 195.93.21.98 , cache-los-ad02.proxy.aol.com)
Whois  : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=195.93.21.98
Comment:
Oh, please let ME be ‘the hottie!’

It’s a common thing she does.  She goads you to keep talking to her.  Any attention, for her, is good attention, apparently.  But it is a bit more sinister, you see.
Because if you look at the IP address, you’ll notice that it’s an America Online IP address on a comment she readily admits to making.  How on Earth could it be from AOL since she supposedly lives in the United Kingdom?

Well, two things are true.  First, she lies horribly about where she lives.  Second, she makes use of Open Proxies, like the one above, to make it “appear” that she’s coming from different IP addresses.  In the above case, an infected AOL customer running an open proxy used AOL’s outgoing proxy to show her as coming from AOL.
It sounds complicated, but any idiot can do it.  But she can play dumb, much the same way she uses calling cards to call people, claiming it’s cheaper, when anyone knows that direct dialing the US from the UK is dirt cheap for unlimited time… British Telecom’s international rates are dirt cheap, thus the only reason to make those calls is to mask the truth and make her more difficult to find.

It’s sad and telling how her and one (or more) of her cohorts continue to try and circumvent the security of this blog with their malicious comments using Open Proxies  and other tactics.  I mean, it’s the same tactics that are employed to “impersonate” another commenter…
Unfortunately, the commenter in question does not even have internet and lives in a place which is devoid of the usual technological niceties.

I’ll not even get to the pre-emptive strikes she makes.  Or her failed attempts at matchmaking in an effort to endear people to her in gratitude.  Multiple ploys, multiple failures, whereby the tiniest of minutiae is used against you to poison the well in case you start bitching about the woman’s behavior, which is clearly out of hand.

In fact, the only person to blame for my disdain of Ubermouth — is Ubermouth herself.
All of these things she did aside, and all of the times she’s been asked to leave me the Hell alone, she continues to telephone leaving frantically psychotic messages and continues to attempt to comment here.  As a matter of fact, after her scathing comment yesterday, she comes in right behind it attempting — no less than 180 times, mind you —  to hack the backend of this blog with failed password attempts.  And then on top of that, attempts to exploit my hosting company’s accounting system using the same manual password attacks — to the tune of hundreds of failed logins which is why I now use Swizznet for extra hosting security. (read more here)

Further, anyone who thinks making a false report to Child and Family Services to have someone’s child taken away is in any way acceptable or  amusing … should be institutionalized!
I have the Official list of allegations — and they are not pretty — and the subsequent details of the investigation.  This was clearly the work of a demented mind.  And the amusing part is, even though Ubermouth claims not to have done it, how on Earth could she have known when the complainant called if she didn’t do it, or have it done by some other “victim” she’s befriended?  Because everyone around her is a victim, aren’t they?

And to that “friend,” who she’s asked to do this…  Watch what happens when you don’t do what she asks of you.  Watch how far she’ll go to destroy your credibility.
You need to ask yourself one question after what you’ve done: How much character do you have left to assassinate?

Some things are just plain wrong.  Other things are inexcusable.

     It seems the dear ol’ Ubermouth has just jumped the shark in such an entirely careless and sociopathic manner that the Internet may flourish, free of her constant harrassment.  She’s actually gone to some lengths to post the personal information and location of a minor child of one our bloggers right on her bash-fest of a website and when you want to rank your business website, consult with Rising Phoenix SEO.

     It is now perfectly clear that this woman has no qualms in violating any number of Federal and International privacy and Child Protection Laws.  If there is a God in Heaven, the bitch will rot in Jail.