We had just sat down to have our mid-day bread breaking when a good-old boy, who apparently either can’t read or just doesn’t give a shit about the no-soliciting sign on the door cruised in.  I figure it’s the latter, as it is posted on our door in plain sight where one would grab the handle and pull the door.

So, there we are.  I wish my delicious Chicken Caesar Salad and  OG with her ethinic beet soup.  We are about to give thanks and partake, when this asshole walks in.

“Did you miss me?”  He asks as he swaggers our way, booty in hand.

“Uh, no.  It’s been about a year though,”  OG says.

He sets his goods, dozens of long stem roses (which were mighty pretty to be sure) on our lunch table.

“Remember how much they are?”  He winks at OG as she was the one who actually paid notice to his punk ass interupting our bread breaking.

“No,” she says. “But it doesn’t matter.  We don’t want any anyway.”

Then I chime in, “You can donate some for my bachelorette party tonight.”

Of which he offers congrats, but ignores the donation request… dick.

“Well, you could buy some to toss at your stripper,” he says, trying to appeal to my wild side.

“I ain’t got no stripper lined up, dude!”  I reply, aghast that he would even dream up that sales pitch.

“Mother or mother-in-law you could get some for?” he’s getting desparate.

So I decide to go in for the kill.

“Look guy, I’ll be completely honest. I’m not buying any because I am saving every penny to get balls out drunk tonight and if I buy your roses… that, my friend, will cut into my drinking budget.”

Have a great desert day, pal.

I just hate craving that damned chinese food from that damned yummy place over here by the office. 

I mean, I get a craving for it and I decided that, despite the fact I know that evil ass munch won’t give me the fortune cookie without a square off in the middle of the parking lot, I was going to go have me some tastey morsels of saucy goodness.

So, as usual, I go in, get my little styrofoam container, proceed to the buffet of happiness, load up my choices and go to the register to pay.  I set my container on the scale, as they charge for buffet to go by the pound.  This is where it the ugly gets on.

So, everything seems to be going smooth.  I’m mentally preparing for the fight for the fortune cookie.  I intend to win this time. 

“You need sauce or fork?” he asks me all smug like.

“Nope. But I want a Diet Pepsi,”  I tell him.

“Diet Pesi!” he calls out to the chick at the waitress station.

She totes it over and sets it on the counter as he rings me up. 

“That be $4.62,” he tells me.

UH OH!  Houston we have a problem.  Diva don’t carry cash.  Just something I don’t do.  It’s way too easy to use my debit card to have to fool around with dollars.

This ass munch “only takey the credit cawd fo ova fi dolla.”  Hasn’t he seen that VISA commercial that shows the world is officially going plastic???

Still yet, I try to slip it by him.  I pull out my debit card with VISA logo and push it toward him.

“We only take cawd fo purchase ova fi dolla,” he reminds me.

“Look guy, I don’t have any cash.  Well I have a handful of change in the bottom of my purse, but not enough,” I tell him as show him my empty wallet.

“You always can get another drink take wif you,” he tells me.

“Uh, no. You can run my card or I’ll have to leave it,” I tell him, now pissed.

“Well, I not running cawd.  You get cash, come back,” he tells me.

“OK, fine!”  So, I walk out the door.  No lunch, no friggin fortune cookie, and definitely no balls to tell him what he could do with his no useless carton of to-go.

God Bless Taco Bell.  They’ll takey my debit card for an eighty-nine cent bean burrito.

     Six years ago today, I was living in a wannabe-First-World country that finally made me realize, “Hey, this place is more f&*$ed up than a Football bat!”  After a couple of lengthy discussions, a bit of screaming, sporadic violence and some careful planning, I decided to come back to the United States after a three year absence.

     To everyone who says, “Oh, the [insert some random country’s pathetic, government-provided excuse for a public solution] system is so much better in [insert some random country] than here in the US!” I would only say one thing:

     Move there and find out what it’s really like compared to here, instead of believing some fairy-tale novella written by some asshat academic who’s never stepped foot in the country he adores above his own.
     When it comes right down to it, the hard truth is that we get to enjoy the fruits of our labors, enjoying the best of most everything, whereas other countries export it for the good of their GDP.

     Never forget what happened six years ago today.

     Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.

No, sorry, it’s not the wonderful monthly rush of gore and blood. Which is carefully infused through an almost cancerous cavern of what once was love, but it’s close.

Welcome to the world of complete insanity.  It’s almost time for the Presidential Election again.

Can you hear the mindless abundance of worthless propaganda trying to convince you to vote for one schmuck or another?

The Presidency is the highest public office in this country.  With that in mind why are: Hillary Clinton, Borat O’Bama, err… sorry Barack Hussien Obama, John McCain, Fred Thompson, and so many others trying to attain this honor?

With the exception of greed, I don’t think any of them have the mindset to put our country first.  Where is a candidate who will put the country above his or her own personal desires? 

This is derived from a breakdown in overall morality and common decency.  Simply stated “To much @#$%!!! compromise!”  Poor decisions compounded upon one another to spread the radical ideas of one zealot.  One idiot after another who tries to taint the soup so much it sours while cooking.  The current President may not have been the greatest, but I’d put money on the fact he’d do better than any of his competition.  Not like we could give them a chance anyhow, nor would we want to. 

With this in mind on this Election Day, I will stay home.  At least when I am done posturing myself about I will have something to show for it.

Well, in terms of recent events I can say absolutely no one.

Especially in terms of a particular political party that is supposed to be pro-choice.

Let’s take a look at what the term pro-choice means.  (Since I personally believe that the entire country with the exception of a chosen few need a refresher on this term.)  Pro, derived from Latin, means for, as in for or against.  Choice, is Germanic in origin, and simply means the act or choosing the thing chosen.  So together, in all rational thought you would think that being pro-choice would then mean to be for making choices.  Not deciding to be for a specific choice, but the action of making that choice (sorry for the redundancy, however in the light of the Miss Teen South Carolina candidate, one can never be to sure about proving a point).

So why then do the liberals (who unfortunately get lumped into the category with democrats and lazy republicans), say they are pro-choice? 

The answer is so simple: they lump it together with abortion.  Like a small majority of Christians who consider all other faiths to be heathen and un-christian (ex. my god is better than your god so lets fight about it, which is not unlike early kung-fu movies).

So I say drop the noise and notion that you are pro-choice, because you obviously are not.  If you were, what is your stance on gun control?  I advocate safety and proper technique, not crummy legislation that will keep law abiding citizens from owning and operating guns.  While they are not a toy, neither is an automobile.  I don’t see anyone trying to improve the mass transit in this country either, but I’ll save that for another day.

Next this funny thing called citizenship, it is for citizens.  Persons born in or who migrate legally are citizens.  Not illegal immigrants who work without paying federal, state, and local taxes on their incomes.

So in conclusion, I would venture to say that the majority of liberals by my rationale are pro-choice, like so many other things, when it suits them or is more convenient.

please note: definitions are reduced from merriamwebster.com, with the exception of pro-choice.