We won’t even go into the fact that red eyes and cottonmouth are usually the first side of anaphylactic shock (allergy!), right?

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Labs are known for their high intelligence, loyalty and eagerness to please. On the downside, they’re also known to be extremely needy, hyperactive and easily bored. Many people don’t realize how much attention they require. But as a constant companion, they’re about the best dog you can possibly own.

This could only be possible if your head’s up your ass.

Of course, possessing this much brilliant sarcasm may also be a reason he’s still single.