But at first glance, I only counted seven…

Seems awfully expensive, considering I could get that almost anywhere for free… Maybe if they threw in a good night’s sleep, free WiFi and a Continental Breakfast…

     Doncha hate it when people call, you ignore it or don’t answer because you’re in the middle of something, and they keep calling over and over and over, not leaving a voicemail, or actually giving you any more than two seconds peace between rings?

     After about the third time, you’re thinking, “Oh, shit, this must be important!”  So you answer the call…
     “Hey? Whatcha doing?”

     My favorite answer?  “Well, dumbass, I was busy ignoring your incessant, non-emergency phone calls, but you interrupted that…”

     Of course, I’ve used a few others. 

     “Ok, do you hear the water?  I am in the f#$*ing shower, ya know…”
     “WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL TO TAKE A DUMP IN PEACE?”
     “What?  So it’s not important?  Well, sorry I was busy whacking it, and I was almost there…. thanks!”

     Of course, three years ago, it was always because, well, “we” were “busy” just about every waking hour.   Callers like that rarely expected to hear two voices answering the same phone… And ya know what…
     I do miss that, if nothing else…

In the next segment, his wife explains the zucchini… *cough*

     There are so many things wrong with this Craigslist ad:

     Stock … muffler … I guess we know where the scrapes came from … And apparently, Sex Ed is failing in Blount County. 

     Seriously, dude, ya know, if it’s not that hard and loud any more, they do make pills for that…

* Tip to Ripshod for the link