Posts Tagged with "obama"

Breaking Satire: Israel Pummels Gaza, Obama Pummels English

January 2nd, 2009 at 6:40 pm by Mark
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     Prior to their bombing run in Gaza on New Years Day, Israeli miltary telephoned many residents warning of the impending attacks.  Leaflets dropped in eastern Gaza, sonic missles used as auditory warnings, and soldiers mounting at the borders should have made the attack no surprise.  However, in typical fashion, these warnings were paid no mind, and the resulting devastation has led to a hornet’s nest of anti-Israeli and anti-US sentiment.
     “When you stand in front of a moving train where the conductors are continuously flashing the lights and blowing their steam horns, whose fault is it, really, when you get run over?” asked Sam Kelter, legal and political correspondent at blogitude.com.

     The surgical strike by Israel was largely successful in Gaza, where a militant mosque and more than twenty homes were leveled, homes which reportedly housed Hamas leaders, militants and weapons.  In addition, Hamas militant leader Nizar Rayan, his four wives, and ten of his twelve children were killed, dealing a significant blow to the Hamas power structure in the region.

     Gaza health officials claim more than seventeen hundred are wounded at present.  The United Nations claims that up to twenty-five percent of the dead may be civilians, while Hamas actually verifies that around fifty-percent of its security forces are deceased, along with as many as twenty-five children.  Whether or not these children were in Hamas homes is still unknown.

     The present death toll includes around four hundred people, four thousand sheep, seventy five dogs, twelve monkeys, six geese a-laying, and an unidentified meat puppet which may have been used in a Quiznos commercial.  No cats were injured during the bombing.

     Asked to comment on the situation, upcoming President Barack Obama replied, “Umm, yes, and, umm, I plan, umm, to address, umm, this situation, ummm, when we, ummm, you know, umm, January, ummm, by the end of the, ummm, by tax season.”
     It seems that our only hope of a diplomatic resolution to the situation may be in the verbal skills of future Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, whose previous statements regarding the War on Terrorism were, “I will not rule out the nuclear option.”

Mickey Mouse for President!

November 4th, 2008 at 4:13 pm by Mark
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     Seems I’m not the only one being assaulted by Internet, Telephone and Snail Mail… This comes to me from Pennsylvania:

Barack Hussein Obama, and cronies… committing crimes daily such as f$%*ing harassment….. Every 5 minutes yesterday…. f$%* it I unplugged my phone now… because I am being literally harassed by them. I have called the DNC, and other PACs, telling them to stop calling me, and that as far as they know, their harassment, which still continues by the way, has made me decide to vote McCain.

So yeah, I called the popo to file a criminal complaint against Barack Obama ’08, and teh DNC!!!!

To make my case, I even recorded the calls to the groups, and clearly stated I was recording the call for my records, and that I do not want them to call me, and that further calls would result in my filing a criminal complaint.

So its done, I have reported Barack Hussein Obama’s criminal acts!!!!

     Good luck!

     I’ll bet you can guess who I didn’t vote for today.

     As for those bashing me over and over by Contact Form, mistakenly calling me a McCain supporter, it’s not my fault your Party of Choice put up such a stooge of a candidate.

     The Truth is revealed here:

I CAN’T STAND JOHN MCCAIN!

     So take your Liberal schtick and shove it up your ass so your head has some company, okay?

     I actually did something I’ve never done before…

     I voted NONE OF THE ABOVE!

     I cast my write-in vote: Mickey Mouse for President!

     Know why?

     Because I live in a country where I CAN

     It’s my RIGHT to do so.

     And THAT is what VOTING is all about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnKmyRrvpnM

     Do I have voter’s remorse?

     Damn straight I do.

     Because if I’d thought about it, I would’ve put Me as Henry Rollins running mate.

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Ahh, So This is Why They Pushed Immigration Reform!

November 3rd, 2008 at 3:49 pm by Mark
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     This stuff is still going through the Supreme Court, being re-filed October 30th, 2008.

     I actually took up for the Obama bastard the other day, saying, “Look, there’s enough crap to go off on without making shit up.  He has a Hawaiian birth certificate, born to American mother, so he’s obviously an American Citizen.” 
     However, there is no Ceritificate of Live Birth from the State of Hawaii.  There are documents provided once he and his mother returned to Hawaii from Kenya, documents which clearly state that he was born in Mombassa, Kenya.

     Not a good thing… And WTF?

     Point:  Yes, his mother was American.

     Counterpoint:  His mother would have had to transfer Citizenship to him, therefore making him a Naturalized citizen — not a natural born citizen, and therefore, he is inelligible to be President of the United States of America.

     Furtherpoint:  He was never naturalized, and provides no proof whatsoever that he is an American Citizen at all.

     Due to a preponderance of evidence, I would further suggest that not only Barack Hussein Obama, but the Democratic National Election Committee, should be held on charges of Immigration Fraud and Election Fraud.

     Now, can we deport his ass, please?

     Thank you, drive through…

Before We Become an ObamaNation…

November 1st, 2008 at 3:03 pm by Mark
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     While all these rumors are circulating, I’m gonna stick with facts, not spin.

     No bullshit.  No rumors.  Just facts.

     While half the country complains about religious, racial and sectarian violence — and even genocide — in Africa and wonders why we don’t do something about it, another part ignores it and says, “That’s just the way things are.”

     But when a formerly peaceful tourist destination — so close to one of our own battlefields — destabilizes and a taliban-style Shariah is signed to force Islam upon its Christian members of the population, enforce dress codes against all woman (including tourists, and not just Muslim women like it was in Afghanistan), and then goes the extra step to kick out international peace keepers and refuse the extradition of terrorists, how would you feel?
     Starts to make one feel a little antsy, doesn’t it?

     And how would you feel about one of our own Presidential candidates having repeatedly endorsed the person — even spoken on his behalf to that country’s masses — who is directly responsible for those actions?

     Does it really depend on your political affiliation as to whether or not you ask this man to address that?

     I sure hope not

     And hey, this is only one thing… How is there possibly any defense for this?

     Now I know that this video doesn’t show it (those keep being removed), but if, “It’s common for American politicians to be seen with foreign dignitaries!” then why are there plenty of sources, including sources actually in Kenya, who show and tell all about Obama campaigning with Odinga?  Campaigning together for “Change?”  Fully endorsing Odinga to his own people, telling them it’s time for “Change?” 
     That’s exactly what an endorsement is…
    And if, “Odinga is not Muslim!  He’s Anglican!” then why is his signature at the bottom of a three page Memorandum which states that he “recognizes that Islam as the only true religion?”

     My biggest problem with this is the constant spin by Liberals and the Obama Campaign itself — deny, deny, deny, deny — “That rumor was debunked!” — when the evidence and truth are right there that these events did occur, and Odinga’s signature is right there on page three.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1P_P8lBCsE

     Before you throw out the whole video because Odinga and Obama are not blood relatives (they call everyone “cousin” there), keep in mind that Kenya has issues.  Obama still supported and endorsed the very man who led a failed coup attempt against his own government, the man who headed a violent opposition political party.  This same man promised and proposed Taliban-style Shariah, and signed documents to that effect.

     You can say, “Obama isn’t Muslim!” all you want, and that may well be true.  Nor was his father an Arab, as more recent rumors claim… he was an ethnic Lou from Kenya.  (Actually, to me, both of those things are irrelevant.  For the most part, as I don’t feel that Islam is inherently wrong.  Most of these countries problems are cause by a lack of Seperation of Church and State, and Islam is allowed to be the “supreme law,” and leaders are able to use the religion to control their populations.)
     The bigger point here is that having one of our own political candidates directly involved with in a foreign country’s election process is as inflammatory as it is reprehensible.  You do not see our people hanging around with opposition candidates.  It is not the job of a U.S. Senator to go on the campaign trail with a foreign opposition leader, because that in itself constitutes an American endorsement.

     The questions you have to ask yourself are simple… how can you slam an opposition party for opportunisticly aligning themselves for personal and political gain when your own candidate does the same damn thing?  And how can a U.S. Senator violate the trust of his office by endorsing an opposition candidate, regardless of their political motivations?

     And why does everyone else in the world see that but us?

Note: Memorandum of Understanding provided by the Evangelical Alliance of Kenya.

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Obama Thinks We’re All Idiots

October 31st, 2008 at 1:09 pm by Mark
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     Barack Obama thinks we’re all idiots, and if we believe his bullshit, then we are.

     This morning, to the applause of his supporters, I heard both him and Al Gore go on about how he “voted against the war Iraq.”

     How the Hell could Obama have voted against the war in Iraq when he only came into office in 2005?

     And surely Paul Street and I are not the only people who remember that not only did Barack Obama support the war in Iraq, he wasn’t “ruling out the nuclear option” even though we have to “pull out now.”  Pull out now, give up, and nuke the place, huh?

     There’s some great foreign policy…

     And right now, with the WORLD economy in upheaval, foreign policy is just a little more important than our current problems, because a bit of diplomacy and trade might be a damn good way to pull us out of recession and restore the American people’s faith in our dollar…