Or certain “someones” who must be mentally insane for the way the talk to and treat you…

For those who make Duckface photos, prepare to be shamed, because what can be seen cannot be unseen.

This is the perfect time to perform the otherwise useless skill of yelling, “Dude! She called you a scruffy-looking nerf-herder!” in Shyriiwook.

The adolescent phone snickered for hours when the elder cellphone told him about his great-great-grandfather’s massive crank…

     Doncha hate it when people call, you ignore it or don’t answer because you’re in the middle of something, and they keep calling over and over and over, not leaving a voicemail, or actually giving you any more than two seconds peace between rings?

     After about the third time, you’re thinking, “Oh, shit, this must be important!”  So you answer the call…
     “Hey? Whatcha doing?”

     My favorite answer?  “Well, dumbass, I was busy ignoring your incessant, non-emergency phone calls, but you interrupted that…”

     Of course, I’ve used a few others. 

     “Ok, do you hear the water?  I am in the f#$*ing shower, ya know…”
     “WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL TO TAKE A DUMP IN PEACE?”
     “What?  So it’s not important?  Well, sorry I was busy whacking it, and I was almost there…. thanks!”

     Of course, three years ago, it was always because, well, “we” were “busy” just about every waking hour.   Callers like that rarely expected to hear two voices answering the same phone… And ya know what…
     I do miss that, if nothing else…