Posts Tagged with "sex"

Counting Sheep

January 28th, 2014 at 5:05 pm by Mark
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A drunken New Zealander came home after a binge carrying a sheep under his arm. He walked into the bedroom where his wife stared at him from the bed. “Sweetheart, this is the pig I’ve been sleeping with every night,” he announced.

Staring at him disgust, the wife yelled, “That’s a sheep, not a pig, you drunken fool!”

“I was talking to the sheep,” he replied dryly.

My Girlfriend asked me how many sexual partners I'd had. I started counting but fell asleep.

Jerry Lands Job That Everyone Wants

January 21st, 2014 at 3:59 pm by Mark
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It’s always good to have career ambitions.

Jerry: Head Receiver

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Something Extra in Your Sandwich (NSFW)

January 17th, 2014 at 9:35 pm by Mark
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The least he could do is eat it. The best he could do is finish.

I don't think I can eat this sandwich...

Stormtroopers: They Always Shoot First

January 5th, 2014 at 5:51 pm by Mark
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Shoot first, and ask questions later seems to be the trend of the average Stormtrooper. That must lead to real letdowns…

Stormtrooper: "I always shoot first!"  To his girlfriend's dismay...

Stock Photos

Safeway: The All-in-One Grocer & Marriage Counselor

June 9th, 2013 at 9:12 pm by Mark
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I suppose saying, “When I think about marriage counseling, I always think of Safeway,” might be a little more socially acceptable than saying, “That’s what she said.”

Penis broken. Please use finger. Thanks!