Posts Tagged with "single"

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

February 14th, 2014 at 1:18 pm by Mark
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Chin up. You could be with one of these…

Dysfunctional Valentines: "Like U As A Friend" "U Sound Like Ur Mother" "Ur Not That Fat" "OK 4 Your Age" "Platonic 4-Ever" "It' Not U, It's Me" "Not Tonight" "Not So Close, OK?" "Not Tonight" "Creeping Me Out" "Weird Kisser"

Acronym Fail

February 2nd, 2014 at 5:08 pm by Mark
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The trick is to never, ever try and make up an acronym that has any of your own initials…

Schwartz: "S.I.N.G.L.E. - Stay Intoxicated Nightly, Get Laid Everyday"  Raza: ""S.I.N.G.L.E. - Schwartz Is Never Getting Laid... Ever..."  Schwartz: "......fuck, i gotta get rid of this"  Ryan: "S.I.N.G.L.E. - Schwartz Is Nibbling Guys Large Erections"  Weiss: "Schwartz is normally getting loose exes"  Weiss: "Schwartz is not good looking either"  Ryan: "S.I.N.G.L.E. - Schwartz Invented Nasty Gay Licking Events?"  Schwartz: "This was a miserable failure on my part."

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A Rather Harsh Reality

March 6th, 2013 at 5:57 pm by Mark
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Sometimes women can be absolutely vicious with one another…

Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single. Just let that sink in.

There’s a Reason This Guy is Single

March 26th, 2012 at 5:38 pm by Mark
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Perhaps Jessica doesn’t care for his incessant references to Star Wars. Perhaps she’s worried about his obsessive attention to fantasy. Perhaps it’s disheartening that he won’t take “no,” for an answer. But the primary reason Jessica doesn’t want to be with him is because he WANTS TO CUT HER OPEN, PULL OUT HER GUTS AND CLIMB INSIDE HER TO KEEP WARM! WHAT THE FUCK?!

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Suicide Prevention Tips on Single-Serve Meals

March 29th, 2010 at 11:00 am by Mark
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Yes, I admit, the thought of the rotating whir as the microwave heats up a ready-made frozen tray of less-than-nutritious, cardboard-flavoured food would make me want to kill myself, too. Fortunately, I know how to cook.