At least he didn’t do it on the plane…

Oh, no, not that kind of game. I meant your Xbox 360 game. Yes, a new service called GameCrush allows socially inept video game junkies to play Halo and Modern Warfare 2 with “hot chicks” for around $1 per minute.

It is worth noting, however, that the best way to actually meet “hot chicks” is to turn off the Xbox, put down the Hot Pockets™, leave the basement, get some fresh air . . . perhaps a tan . . . *cough*

Most of us have seen this type of Video Game before, especially the nostalgic incarnation where you shoot a monkey out of a cannon and attempt to get the best distance while arching through the air and bouncing back from the ground. However, this version, available now for a mere 240 points on Xbox Live Marketplace, uses your very own Xbox Live avatar, features stunning graphic imagery of an African svelte and includes the very real chance that your avatar may end up shoulders deep in an elephant’s ass!

I suppose it never occurred that chugging a large quantity of beer from a plastic baseball bat might’ve been a bad idea.

As mentioned in my bio, I have a PsychoMagnet™ permanently implanted in my body. It’s not some cheaply made PsychoMagnet™ that merely attracts people who scream nonsense and drivel for no apparent reason. In fact, this is a top-of-the-line model that makes for some rather interesting situations on a daily basis, thanks in no small part to random strangers who are drawn in from all walks of life. It also has the added discomfort of giving me a positively terrifying dating life. Being a surprisingly laid back, go with the flow, kind of guy, this video helped clarify exactly where I’ve kept going wrong. [ Possibly NSFW ]