Now, Diva’s last blog, “Skank of the Week: Paris Hilton” was funny to me.  Most rational, thinking people think she’s a bit … well … Useless.  I mean, really, what makes her a celebrity?  Why the Hell should anyone care, one iota, about her life in the least?
     Apparently, it’s because she’s rich, and totally enjoys making an ass herself, her family, exploiting the silver spoon, etc. etc. etc.  She’s a train wreck waiting to happen, a poster child for “Rich Bitch.”
     Everyone hates her.

     Free Speech comes to mind…

     We’re just past Memorial Day.  I didn’t blog, because I was busy living my life, being an idiot and having a good time.
     If I had blogged, I would’ve reminded people about all of the people who had died to make this a Free country.  Those are people who made an extreme sacrifice, whether they lived or died, that were dedicated to furthering our Freedom, or the Freedom of a given nation.  They’re people of conviction and character, who stood up and took action while others sat on their haunches waiting for the next episode of blah-blah-blah.

     I also would’ve reminded people about the ideals that those heroes stood for in defense of Freedom in this country.
     I’ve lived in a few other countries, some at others’ suggestions, and found out that Americans, as a whole, take those Freedoms for granted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NymRecFWgAs

     You have the right to be offended.  You have the right to change the channel.  You have the right to read another blog.  You have the right to hate our politicians.  You have the right to vote.  You have the right to marriage.  You have the right to divorce.  You have the right to rant about them on a blog.  You have the right to free yourself of toxic people.  You have the right to file a restraining order against an abuser.
     So long as you’re obeying some pretty loose concepts of law and trying to be a decent person, you can do pretty much anything you want.  Nobody’s telling us what to do — we make our own choices, we lead our own lives, and there’s no Government standing over us to tell us what to read, what to think, what to express.
     That makes us unique in the world.  As much as people “complain” about the “loss of our freedom,” I’d have to say — go live somewhere else for a while, then get back to me.

     So it strikes me as funny, with all of those rights, how some people seem to feel think that they have the right not to be offended — how they might “sue” a blog for a derogatory comment which reveled no personal information whatsoever.  How they might file a gag order on a legal case to prevent it from being talked about, no matter how heinously ridiculous the case might be.  How they might file a “stalking” charge because someone put up a link to a video they didn’t like.

     Hippies ate a lot of Acid, pretending to be activists for Free Speech.

     So … What, uh … Changed?

     Remember Perry Caravello, the guy who’s so Internet savvy he couldn’t even spell “youtube” — or get Johnny Knoxville name right — in a lawsuit?  This is to people like him.  It’s also to “celebrities” who might garner attention via research, and thus benefit, from a sarcastic diatribe…

     G’night, kids.

     God bless.

Tip: Zacque Hitchcock, who found these two perfect examples of video

Character is often regarded as a means to judge the quality of a person and their moral values.  I thought about this as a read the blog on the Borat Syndrome when my name was mentioned.  I finally figured out why I love the film so much.  It is a perfect cross-section of the sheer ugliness that make up the moral stature of so many people in our lovely US and A.  I now invite you to watch as the people go and sing along as if it was a Disney Sing-A-Long special.

Surely, with this kind of debauchery and social degradation in the film media, it won’t be long until sex everywhere you look.  Children hate their parents, other races, any sort of work, and their bosses.  The politicians will be crooked. As they try to swindle, cheat and steal not only from the people but from each other as well.  (Not to mention remaining stagnant during their term, so they do not alienate their constituency so they are re-elected.)

While I do think a serious look at the general moral character of the public needs to be addressed, although I am not suggesting overall moral change.  (I want to keep my rights and my firearms.*)  I believe this must be addressed on much more a personal level.  You know, like prayer in school and spirituality when in the public domain, left up to the individual.  The whole point of the “film” is not to anger.  Merely to empower the mind, so our unpleasant qualities can be corrected.  All I am saying is simply if you don’t study history, you are bound to repeat it.

*Do not think advocating stronger gun restrictions will keep people who commit terrorist acts or other crimes from finding guns.

     I feel incredibly lucky that I’m not afraid of the opposite sex. I can talk to anyone, any time, for pretty much any reason. It comes naturally, having the gift of gab. And so, I will continue where Flirting 101 left off.

     Regardless of whether or not I mean to, or even mean anything by it, I flirt. Even when I’m not flirting, I still get accused of it.
     Of course, there are three very distinct degrees of flirting, and it’s very important to choose both your targets and your motivations carefully.

     First, there’s the Casual Flirt, who’ll flirt with most anyone, and doesn’t really mean anything by it. This is where most people start. Sometimes you do it to be friendly. Other times you’re establishing your presence in new surroundings. Sometimes, it’s nothing more than a casual ego-boost to have someone flirt back — however, this should never be confused with the Romantic Flirt (explained later).
     The Material Flirt has an agenda in mind — they want to sway the outcome of a given situation to their favor. This type of flirting can be used everywhere from trying to get a better deal on an order to trying to swaying a Jury in a courtroom. It’s also an exceptionally handy skill in Business.
     The Romantic Flirt has a more “personal” agenda in mind. They flirt with the object of their desire, attempting to gain favor for whatever means.

     Any person can be all of the above, so it’s important to keep your objective in mind. Is it general banter? A price break on an order? Or are you looking to hook up?

     Not having a clear objective is where many people screw up.

     The Romantic Flirt has even more pitfalls ahead. But you can mitigate these issues by remembering the Three R’s:

• Romp
• Relationship
• Run like Hell!

     Paying attention to the Three R’s will allow you time to get to know someone, and avoid potentially embarrassing situations.  Always keep those in mind!
     It should also go without saying that you should never flirt so much that you make an ass of yourself — hindsight is 20/20, and you may make a mistake that could end up haunting you for life.
     Next, always keep them guessing, and try not to be too overt about your motives — some things are better left to the imagination, and you’re less likely sound like an utter prick.
     Last, but certainly not least, don’t try to “seal the deal” too quickly. If you successfully flirt over a given period of time, you have an “in.” Be yourself, and you’re golden.

     Even with all of those things in mind, an experienced Romantic Flirt like myself may still run into the occasional problem — it happens to everyone!

     One night, for instance, after trying unsuccessfully to set a friend up with a cute blonde his age, I ended up making out with the object of his affections. She was pretty, very early twenties, tall and slender.
     I was smart in keeping things on a more platonic level, all public snogging at the table aside. It allowed me time, over the course of the following week, to realize that she had a rather serious drug problem.
     Using the Three R’s, I relegated her status to Run like Hell. Of course, being the kind and generous guy that I am, I did introduce her to someone else…
     (Sorry, Zacque. *snicker*)

     Sometimes, however, problems arise where even the Three R’s can’t help you. These issues will require you to completely change your flirting style. For instance…
     Mid-winter, around twelve years ago, I began talking with a woman at local Blues club. We exchanged telephone numbers, and agreed to meet the next night. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell what a body looks like under winter wraps, but she appeared to be quite curvy, which I love. She had a warm personality, beautiful eyes and an incredible smile.
     What I found out the next night, however, after she took off her coat, is that she was more muscular than I was. This is something I do not find attractive in the least, so I then reverted from Romantic Flirt to Casual Flirt and we’ve been friends ever since.
     I was very glad about the turn of events, as some time later, I witnessed her channel her rage by physically assaulting a soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend using incredible feats of strength that would get a “Hoo-ah!” out of the manliest of men … and wrestlers, too. I have not seen the guy in public since…

     These are common problems. However, I often hear much worse tales of those who are young and/or inexperienced enough to make even more fatal mistakes.

     To re-cap the Rules of Flirting:

1. Carefully choose who it is you’re trying to flirt with.
2. Keep your objective in mind.
3. Choose your flirting style:
   1. Casual Flirt
   2. Material Flirt
   3. Romantic Flirt
      1. Romp
      2. Relationship
      3. Run like Hell!

     Please review the following video as an example of what can happen when you break nearly every Rule of Flirting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rLjVeQJ-n8

     Excluding the obvious issues, given this outline, it’s very easy to see where this young pup went wrong, isn’t it?

     Any questions?

     I find Sasha Baron Cohen brilliant, a master-of-irony whose talents rival the twisted genius of Andy Kaufman.  As Ali G (a muslim ‘gangsta’ rapper), he caused tremendous controversy from unwitting participants on his English talk show.  As Bruno (an openly gay Austrian fashion correspondent), he’s repeatedly shaken up the industry and called out many a designer on their pompous, ridiculous notions.  And as Borat (a Kazakhstani reporter filming a documentary about the US — and A), he’s managed to piss off pretty much everyone from the Grand Ol’ South to the former Soviet bloc.

     But there is a great truth that everyone should know:

     Most Men find Borat hilarious.

     Most Women do not.

     For those burning up with Borat Fever (this means you, Zacque!  *grin*), some translation may be required:

     Men who make impersonation of reporter from glorious nation of Kazakhstan have great success in not make sexy time with girlfriend.  Is bad for you… High five!  Fortunate, there is help… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … Not.  Please to review following video, “Borat Sketch (PSA): Cultural Learnings for Make Unoriginal Douchebag Stop Do Impersonation.”

     For you Dave Chappelle wannabes out there … You are not Rick James, bitch!  Help will be coming for you soon…

In honor of the last clip mentioned in Mark’s Tourette’s Week piece, here is a lovely little homage to the same movie “The Big Lebowski.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfclvdY7E7Y