Any powerpoint attachments sent to any of my accounts will now be forwarded immediately to Bill Gate’s Personal E-Mail address and then deleted.

I don’t care that it’s 3AM. I don’t care that you are “half-here”. Just get it done!

Well, it didn’t go like that, but it was pretty close. I’ve had to rely on Mark for last minute shit for what, 4 or 5 years now? Have I ever gotten shit on for it? Well one time I saw a semi-vague, yet polite, blog post about it, but otherwise, NO.

What’s my point. Let me see. This is my point.

Mark has saved my ass a number of times and there is no way to express gratitude, saving cash/check/credit card, from 2500 miles away. So for this I say: FUCK YOU! Your the best! And I am not GAY!

Fucker

     After multiple issues after a year and a half, I finally talked a vendor into replacing a temperamental server that’d been causing a one of my clients no end of fits.  And so, at 5AM Tuesday morning, the hard drives were pulled and installed in a brand-spanking-new server.  Miraculously, everything worked.  Or so I thought…

     At 5PM yesterday, I was notified by my customer that, “Our mail server has been down all day.”  I’m not sure why they didn’t contact me about it earlier in the day, but… Further inspection of the server log revealed the following actual error message:

Oct 20 05:53:12 antarctica dovecot: Time just moved backwards by 7307 seconds. This might cause a lot of problems, so I’ll just kill myself now.

     It seems that that when the new server rebooted and went through its normal bit of resetting the time, the mailserver died.  However, since this is the actual error message, as listed in the maillog, it is apparent that their mail server has developed a personality.
     Given its new-found malcontentment and predeliction to suicide, I couldn’t help but think perhaps it needs a companion… I know the perfect one…

     And on that note, I’m going revert to “couch potato” mode and watch Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy…

for the day when we have an all hands meeting and one of the comments is for “the asshole jerking off in the bathroom to please stop” so I can raise my hand and say…..

     I do tend to deal with a lot of people who aren’t native English speakers.  A lot of times, I tend to learn their particular pidgins and respond back in kind so that they understand, because sometimes their English skills just aren’t good enough to “get it.”

     Back in ’95, I had a computer store.  I answered the phone one day to a Taiwanese customer.
     “Herro, Ma’k?  I having probrem.  Have computer, cannot get hard on.”
     *muffled laughter*  “Umm, it won’t turn on?”
     “No, cannot get hard on.”
     *laughter less muffled*  “I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.  You cannot get a hard on?”
     “Haha, very fun!  No, cannot get hard on.”
     *laughing*  “Umm, that sounds like a personal problem.”  *turns on speaker phone*
     “No, Ma’k, have computer, computer on, no hard on.”
     *laughing hard*  “Are you on the Internet?”
     “No, cannot get hard on!  Come now!”
     *laughing hysterically* “I can send one of the girls over.”
     “You makey joke!  I no get hard on!  Send Robin!  Haha, very fun!”

     Anyway, as it turns out, the computer itself, which he mistakenly called the “hard drive,” would not turn on.  And it was due to bad wiring in the building.  But… Whatever…

     A repeat today, with a similar situation, left me fumbling for words when trying to speak to anyone else.  Typing was, of course, right out.

I taking they making wiper fluid for race cars?
Oh, God.
My English is suffering horrible.
This is what I get for talking to Chinese clients.
My English going Hell to the basket.

     Now I have to do a BIOS update … but can no find froppy dick.