Archive for October, 2009

Happy Dress Like a Whore Day!

October 31st, 2009 at 10:32 pm by Mark
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     The history of the purely American phenomenon of Halloween includes Trick or Treating for the kids (where they play welfare punks and sponge off neighnors for free sugar), some rather dastardly pranks, and, of course, women dressing like role-playing prostitutes.  Apparently, we have a special fondness for Nurse outfits, especially when they’re showing lots of cleavage, which is probably the reason I’m still totally in love with that sexy CNA from 2007, but I digress…

     We, at Blogitude.com, wish you all a happy, and, above all, SAFE Halloween.

     That means, don’t call us at 4AM to come pick you up because you’re too drunk to drive.  Call a cab like all the other poor sods.  Especially, do not call us to bail you out of jail tomorrow, because, regardless of the fact that we may look like we’re made of money, you must remember that a significant portion of our income comes from Writing, and nobody wants to pay for this crap.

Torturer, Murderer Lemaricus Davidson Sentenced to Death

October 30th, 2009 at 4:11 pm by Mark
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     While anti-Death Penalty activists littered the streets with see-no-evil, hear-no-evil antics, a Knox County Jury who actually heard the case against Lemaricus Davidson were deliberating.

     It was a short deliberation.

     Davidson was sentenced to Death.

     A joint press release by Saddam Hussein and Jeffrey Dahmer says that there was overwhelming applause for the outcome of the trial, and wish Davidson a safe and expedient journey to his new residence in Hell.

     “Ain’t so bad, cause you can smoke anywhere,” said Tupac Shakur, another Hell resident. “But they ain’t got Menthol.”

     I will attempt to keep this post up-to-date with new developments.

Stock Photos

Of All Things In Manchester, TN

October 29th, 2009 at 11:50 pm by Zacque
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gasthauslogo

Thursday night my wife and I decided to make the trip to lovely Viola, TN for a friend’s wedding.  At that point we also decided that we should go down Friday night to visit Lynchburg in the morning prior to the wedding  (besides its the BBQ cook-off weekend.)  Looking through the web wonderland we discovered a quaint little German restaurant we wanted to try out. 

The Gasthaus of Manchester, TN is absolutely wonderful, the food was by far superior to anything I have ever had in Manchester and the beer and the selection was phenomenal.  For directions, see the link.  So if you find yourself in Manchester and are in the mood for something unique definitely check this one out!

It’s Their Fault I Used Twitter…

October 26th, 2009 at 3:35 pm by Mark
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     Fracas gave me reason #8934 I shouldn’t use Twitter.  I blame my complete and total lack of self control on her, since she’s the one who pointed out that stupid #oneletteroffmovies bit, where you take a movie title and change one letter for an entirely different meaning…
     Needless to say, my Twitter Traffic has been disturbingly high.

Mark Ruffalo stars as the entire cast in Ruffalo Soldiers. #oneletteroffmovies
1 minute ago

Little chance of being frightened at this pathetic, cult musical comedy: Little Shot of Horrors #oneletteroffmovies
1 minute ago

Horror/Shocker as an escort establishment suffers from a rash of pregnancies. Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Brood #oneletteroffmovies
3 minutes ago

Puffy Combs makes a deal with Baalzebub. Bedizzled. #oneletteroffmovies
6 minutes ago

Jim Carrey stalks Matthew Broderick in: The Cable Gay. #oneletteroffmovies
8 minutes ago

More of Howard Stern’s assinine humor. Private Farts. #oneletteroffmovies
8 minutes ago

Roger’s getting a little old to still be single…. Roger Codger #oneletteroffmovies
8 minutes ago

Meanwhile, Lorraina Bobbit has her own plans… Deconstructing Hairy #oneletteroffmovies
10 minutes ago

Alfred Hitchcock’s protaginst suffers from ED. The Trouble with Hairy. #oneletteroffmovies
11 minutes ago

Gena Rowlands and Winona Ryder know which Wayne’s World star they find attractive. Night on Garth #oneletteroffmovies
12 minutes ago

Capt. Yossarian escapes the horror of World War II by making magic brownies. Batch-22 #oneletteroffmovies
13 minutes ago

Basketball coach Billy Bob Thornton finds out he really is above average… Mr. Hoodcock #oneletteroffmovies
15 minutes ago

Katherine Waterston reveals her nickname for the breasts she’s about to expose. The Babysisters. #oneletteroffmovies
16 minutes ago

He came. He saw. He acted like a pervert. Veni! Vidi! Vicie! #oneletteroffmovies
21 minutes ago

May the Bluebird of Happieness forever urinate in your Cheerios. Piss Congeniality. #oneletteroffmovies
24 minutes ago

Sean Penn knows you lose 21 grams when you die. Now he knows how much he loses when he poops. 219 Grams. #oneletteroffmovies
25 minutes ago

Mark Ruffalo and Ethan Hawk give up a dangerous life of crime for simple credit card fraud. What Doesn’t Bill You. #oneletteroffmovies
29 minutes ago

Bruce Willis portrays Greg Luganis and his head-splitting injury: Dive Hard #oneletteroffmovies
31 minutes ago

Does anyone understand why constipation seems to hit caucasians harder? White Men Can’t Dump #oneletteroffmovies
33 minutes ago

Lila Littleworld realizes Canada is f#&*ing cold in, Frozen Liver #oneletteroffmovies
36 minutes ago

Wener Hertzog studies English as a Second Language in, Encounters at the End of the Word #oneletteroffmovies
36 minutes ago

Tommy Lee Jones plays a nasty prank in The Electric Mint #oneletteroffmovies
40 minutes ago

Don Cheadle moves to Iowa in Tractor #oneletteroffmovies
40 minutes ago

Madea becomes a Meteorologist in Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Hail #oneletteroffmovies
42 minutes ago

Eddit Murphy stars as a robotic blow-up doll in Meat Dave #oneletteroffmovies
43 minutes ago

Rob Schneider takes a laundry job in prison… The Big Stain #oneletteroffmovies
44 minutes ago

Stanley Tucci finds Bridget Fonda may not be straight… The Whore Shebang #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

Chelsea Makela, Damon Wayans, and an all New Zealand Cast. Dance Flock. #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

George Clooney asks his girlfriend to stop eating spicy food in, Burn After Reaming #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

Renee Zellweger goes anti-semitic in Jew in Town #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

Russel Crow finds Jeebus in State of Pray. #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

Jennifer Aniston loses all her hair in Mangement #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago

Walt Disney present, Tinker Hell! #oneletteroffmovies
about 1 hour ago from web

KungPow: Enter the Fish #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

Head Again #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

9 1/2 Peeks #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

Tool for Love … (Sam Shepherd/Kim Basinger/Harry Dean Stanton) #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

Crapped in Paradise #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

The Mighty Fucks #oneletteroffmovies
about 14 hours ago

@ManInTheMittle Lay Anything… #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

Never Lay Never Again #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

Bone With the Wind #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

The Porn Blows at Midnight #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

Little Big Porn #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

‘Pucker Up and Bark Like a Dog’ aka ‘Tits’ (http://tinyurl.com/yzjtee5) #oneletteroffmoviesabout 15 hours ago

@stephintoronto Gay After Tomorrow #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago from web in reply to stephintoronto

Tenacious D in The Dick of Destiny #oneletteroffmovies
about 15 hours ago

Unsure Cunts (Yes, I couldn’t help it – http://tinyurl.com/yjwr5d3) #oneletteroffmovies
about 16 hours ago

     Now, with wasted wit, I can’t even write a decent post.

     So, thanks, Fracas, for screwing up my blog with this nonsense!  😉

     For clarity’s sake, that was Eddie Murphy, Lila Littlewolf, etc. in the above list.  There are a number of typoes.  I won’t bother to fix them.  Yes, I did that on purpose. 
     And for that, I blame Dan Quayle.

Fiverr.com

Bad Engrish

October 24th, 2009 at 1:51 am by Mark
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     So in the process of cleaning this blog up, pulling out some fluff and doubling the speed, I ran across a several bits of “extra” code that are quite a lot less than necessary…

     Can someone please tell what this means?

… [This plugin] is in the 2.6 version of WordPress after the automatic accession to the revised edition of the journal preservation cause, you modify a log of each, will add a revision, if you modify many times, log on the few speeches, it will be a very frightening number!If you have 100 on the log, your revisiong redundancy may be as many as 1,000 articles!

[This plugin] is the end came, to delete a large number of redundant revision to increase the speed of implementation of the SQL statement, WordPress upgrade the speed there is a lot of benefits!

Thank you for your useing. I hope this will give you convenient plug-ins!

     I has a loss…

     And if you think the Engrish is bad, you should see the math it does…

Now You have 838 posts ,Up to now [this plugin] has deteted 1042 post revision of dedundancy,it’s easy . Wish happy ending !

     Regardless of how many times I run it, 838 != 1042.