Today’s lesson in European geography begins with the town of Fucking in Austria. It’s located around 50km north of Salzburg, and as you can see by the map below, there are four Fucking Roads to get there:
Fucking residents have been constantly annoyed by British tourists stealing their Fucking signs. But March 31st, 2010 is an amazing day for Fucking. It appears that one Fucking beer company has managed to pass all legal hurdles to begin sending Fucking Hell to England. As Independent author Tony Paterson points out:
The German brand name’s owners point out that the German word “Hell” means “light” when used in conjunction with beer. But they may have underestimated the likely effects of the brand name in Britain where vexed bar staff could soon be facing orders along the lines of: “A pint of Fucking, half a Fucking shandy and a packet of cheese and onion please.”
But as for the widepread availability of this rather controversial product in the United Kingdom, I will certainly give three cheers for Fucking as I raise a bit of Hell.
Oh, no, not that kind of game. I meant your Xbox 360 game. Yes, a new service called GameCrush allows socially inept video game junkies to play Halo and Modern Warfare 2 with “hot chicks” for around $1 per minute.
It is worth noting, however, that the best way to actually meet “hot chicks” is to turn off the Xbox, put down the Hot Pockets™, leave the basement, get some fresh air . . . perhaps a tan . . . *cough*
Most of us have seen this type of Video Game before, especially the nostalgic incarnation where you shoot a monkey out of a cannon and attempt to get the best distance while arching through the air and bouncing back from the ground. However, this version, available now for a mere 240 points on Xbox Live Marketplace, uses your very own Xbox Live avatar, features stunning graphic imagery of an African svelte and includes the very real chance that your avatar may end up shoulders deep in an elephant’s ass!