Archive for March, 2014

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

March 17th, 2014 at 1:41 pm by Anita
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Holidays where drinking is a requirement make good business for Emergency Rooms and EMS. Be careful out there!

EMS Workers: Your Stupidity Is Our Job Security

International Disturbed People’s Day

March 16th, 2014 at 7:32 pm by Novia
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Just a note to some of my special friends…

Today is International Disturbed People's Day. Please send an encouraging message to a distrubed friend just like I have done.  I don't care if you lick the windows, take the special bus or occasionally pee yourself. You hang in there sunshine, you're friggin special.

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Wanna Stay in Chicago?

March 16th, 2014 at 5:28 pm by Novia
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Guns are illegal in Chicago. Aaand that’s the problem!

Come to Chicago For the Food. Stay Because You Got Murdered.

Kids Begging for Money

March 16th, 2014 at 3:38 pm by Jason
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Yesterday a kid walked up to me in a restaurant and asked if he could “borrow” my money. I said, “No go ask your daddy.” I wanted to see what man he went to and punch him in the face but the kid walked all over the restaurant like he had no parents. It’s hard to blame the kids.

"Too Late Now... Your Child is an Asshole: A Guide for Parents Who are Most Likely Also Assholes."  by Barbara Simmons, author of ADMIT IT: Your Child is Having a Fucking Meltdown

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Who Has the Bigger Weiner?

March 16th, 2014 at 1:13 pm by Jason
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Mine’s still bigger than yours. And it didn’t require implants.

Giant Truck: "Sorry About Your Penis, Bro."