Posts Tagged with "sheep"

Counting Sheep

January 28th, 2014 at 5:05 pm by Mark
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A drunken New Zealander came home after a binge carrying a sheep under his arm. He walked into the bedroom where his wife stared at him from the bed. “Sweetheart, this is the pig I’ve been sleeping with every night,” he announced.

Staring at him disgust, the wife yelled, “That’s a sheep, not a pig, you drunken fool!”

“I was talking to the sheep,” he replied dryly.

My Girlfriend asked me how many sexual partners I'd had. I started counting but fell asleep.

No More Christmas Candy

January 7th, 2014 at 5:02 pm by Mark
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The Holidays are over, Christmas candy is on clearance, and some people just can’t help themselves, can they?

The Holidays are Over...

Wal-Mart.com USA, LLC

New Zealand Catches On to Hit Pop Song

October 27th, 2012 at 7:18 pm by Mark
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But, as usual, they screw it up…

The Final Word on Apple Zealotry

September 18th, 2012 at 5:45 pm by Mark
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The last two days posts regarding that litigation-crazy fruit company have caused some serious arguments, all of which have no basis in logic or reality. You can read more about this in my forthcoming book, “Why You’re An Idiot: Why ‘Apple is Better Because F#$* You!’ Is Not a Valid Argument.”

iPhones: Now More Important Than Parenting

September 17th, 2012 at 9:02 pm by Mark
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Her mother should have been the poster child for the Abortion debate… Or even the birth control debate… I’m jus’ sayin’…